Friend is cheating on boyfriend should i step in?

[dont_1]

Im a guy and have just recently found out that one of my female friends has been cheating on her boyfriend with her ex. Apparently shes been doing it ever since she got with her boyfriend 3 years ago. As a guy i feel really bad for her boyfriend as i have been cheated on before and its not a nice experience. He seems like a really cool dude. He even saved her from being homeless. Shes basically taking advantage of his good nature and walking all over him. Shes biting the hand that feeds. My view of her as changed and i now realise shes self centered and doesnt care about anyone but herself. When she gets drunk she tries it on with other guys at clubs even in front of her boyfriend. I feel like her boyfriend doesnt have the guts to ditch her. Now that i know about her cheating i feel like i need to do something. I cant stand seeing someone getting walked all over and just letting it happen. I want to talk to my friend about her cheating. But is it my place to do so???

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

[jb1111983]

Yes talk to her about it if you know for sure that she's been cheating on her bf. Also tell her why you don't like it, your personal experience. As a friend you should definitely step in and help her realise what a big mistake she's making. It's not about making her feel guilty but making her realise she's headed for in the wrong direction. I mean what kind of person will she be if her life continues to be this way? If she gets it, great. If not, reconsider your friendship with her.

[steviej]

If i were her fella, i'd appreciate someone giving me a heads up on what she's been doing.

[dont_1]

steveiej, i was thinking about telling her boyfriend about all of this. I would assume that he would think im trying to break them up because i did have feelings for my female friend in the past, that he knows about. So i think its better to talk to my friend first.


Ive been sort of an agony aunt recently lol. Alot of my friends have been going though relationship problems. Im the sort of person that tells people the truth even if they dont like what they hear. They have thanked me for that because it gives them a reality check and knocks them out of the "dream world" they're living in. I dont think her females friends have ever mentioned about her cheating to her. She seems to have gotten into a routine of getting a boyfriend and cheating on them. She told me that when her fist boyfriend broke up with her she was devasted and thought she was going to die lol. She went into a relationship very soon after that break up. My personal opinion is that i dont think she dealt with the break up, she just masked it by getting into another relationship. Maybe she doesnt like men because of what her first boyfriend did to her?????. I'm just guessing here. But i think the feelings from her first break up are still with her. I think that she needs to be single for a while until she sorts out her emotions and what she really wants. She shouldn't drag other people through the mess that shes in.

Do you agree with that???

[JadenMia]

I agree, think of it this way. Their relationship is already doomed if she is for sure cheating on him, so you wont be really ruining anything. So you should talk to your friend, try get her to understand the importance of her actions, how selfish she is being and get her to see how good he is and that he doesnt deserve this treatment.
Tell her she either figures out her ways or lets him go. If she doesnt do either, i would tell him. I would be SO thankful if someone gave me the heads up about my partner cheating on me. Have you ever been in that situation? Your partner cheating on you, and then on top of it nobody telling you anything. It hurts..

[dont_1]

JaneMia thanks for your comment. I will do as you have said.

She has told one of our friends that she wants to try and make things work with her boyfriend. To be honest i dont think she is in a position to make that decision. Only her boyfriend can make that decision after knowing what shes been doing. But that was a few weeks ago and shes been up to some suspicious activity with another friends recent ex boy friend. Seems like shes not trying to make things work with her boyfriend. She has always said to me that she loves her boyfriend, and when i tried it on with her in the past she would always mention thats shes with her boyfriend. Yet her actions dont justify what she is saying. I guess shes a good liar. Which is true.

[qwertz]

You should talk to her but do NOT saying anything to her bf. I was in a similar position, my best friends wife was cheating on him, i told him and it got very messy. Its not something i would get involved in again.