When it rains it pours.

[bonnie]

Last night I told my partner of ten years and father of our 4 yr old child that I couldn't see us working in the long run. It terrified me to say it but I just don't want to deal with his moodiness and angry outbursts for the rest of my life. He says that because he would never hit us and is generally a good guy I shouldn't want to leave. He says he still wants me/ us more than ever but it's up to me. I he says he won't actively seek counceling but if I organise it he'll go.

I have no idea where we go from here. I have no idea how to work this out with having a child. Our child is so happy here. If we split we have to move interstate so i can have family support, even though he says he wants our child full time ( I have been her full time carer for her entire life).

Add to all that, he got laid off today.

WTH do I do now? I can't leave - he'll probably kill himself. But how can I stay when things are going to be even harder than they are already - I've been through him being laid off and job huntiong before and he is just the biggest downer at times like this.

I'm so lost.

And add to this we've planned our wedding for five months time... *sigh*


ETA It's probably relevant to add that we both smoked marijuana heavily for a long time which I think dulled his angry side. I stopped before becoming pregnant, he continued to smoke on occasion. Now smokes once every few weeks or month. He is obviously never angry when stoned. Has said I should "let" him be stoned all the time and things would be fine. I told him I don't want to be with someone who needs drugs to be happy with me.

[ConniptionFit]

Sounds like you both need counseling. Time for you to set those sessions up.

[bonnie]

I can't see how counseling will even help though. he says he's always been high strung. I have always been laid back. I think we're just fundamentally too different for me to be able to exist peacefuly with him. He will never stop smoking pot either, and I truly believe it has a lot to do with his mood swings.

[ConniptionFit]

I can't see how counseling will even help though. he says he's always been high strung. I have always been laid back. I think we're just fundamentally too different for me to be able to exist peacefuly with him. He will never stop smoking pot either, and I truly believe it has a lot to do with his mood swings.

At the very least it will help you deal with your co-dependency issues.

[IndiReloaded]

Go visit your family w/your child and take some time to think. Do you have a job? You should get one. Consider relocating closer to family, especially if your partner is out of work.

[imagineallthe]

We can't live our lives based on what other people would do if we left them. Well, we can but you'll never be happy. You can't give up yourself for him. It's not your responsibility. Of course you should leave him, but take the practical issues at first and sort them out. It may take some time. Explain things to him, there's not much more to do. He won't have the kid fulltime unless you're proven an unstable and dangerous mom, which you're not.

Love the title by the way