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Thread: The girl of my dreams

  1. #1
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    Jun 2011
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    The girl of my dreams

    I recently met the girl of my dreams. She is beautiful, intelligent, funny, and a total blast to be around. We met through a mutual friend and from the moment we locked eyes, I felt a connection. After our initial introduction, we did not speak for about a month, but she remained on my mind. Then, out of the blue she called me and wanted to get together. We decided that exercising would be a fun way to hang out in an informal way. During the first few days exercising together, we realized we have many common interests. We enjoy the same sports, music, foods, religion, and have similar senses of humor. We had so much fun together.

    Every day that I spent with her was not enough, and I could not wait until I could see her again. We saw each other every day for a week and every moment was wonderful. To me she is beautiful inside and out. I know she thinks I'm attractive as well because she said so outright.

    On about day two of our week hanging out together, I discovered the girl of my dreams was in a long distance relationship with a guy several states away. She was planning to, and eventually re-located in order to live with her boyfriend eight days after calling me. After learning she had a boyfriend, I was disappointed. Was the connection we had real? I believe so. I also believe she felt it as well considering she continued to want to spend considerable time with me in spite having a boyfriend. We had open and enjoyable conversations. She discussed her reservations about moving and living with a long time, long-distance boyfriend. She even jokingly asked me to move with her several times so we could continue our exercise routine.

    Once I learned she had a boyfriend, I decided it was best not to discuss my true feelings, especially considering she was moving away in such a short time. The body language between the two of us was undeniable, and the amount of contact we had proved, if nothing else, that we enjoyed spending time together. It's been about two weeks since she's moved and we've text messaged each other every day to touch base and see how one another are doing. I miss her.

    I felt it was best not to make a move before she left for a couple reasons. First, one of my beliefs is, you don't steal another guy's girlfriend (even if she's begging to be stolen). Second, if I succeeded in sparking a romance, where would that road lead to? Ultimately, I could not have a future with a girl who started our relationship out of infidelity. I decided that if I am ever lucky enough to have a relationship with this girl, she would be long-term material and not a short-term fling. I was respectful and behaved like a good friend. Needless to say however, if she were single, I would have made a move. I am not certain I made the right decision. Perhaps I should have made more of a bold move if this girl truly was "the one." Perhaps my actions should have been more drastic and I should have told her my feelings.

    At this point, I don't know what to do. I plan to keep in touch as much as possible in an appropriate way. But what is appropriate when it comes to girls with boyfriends? I mean, I know if I had a girlfriend that was texting another single, straight guy every day, I would be suspicious and not too happy about it. Although none of our conversations are sexual in nature, we each express missing one another. I don't want her to view me as the type of guy who would pursue her while being in a relationship, so I keep my comments very cordial (but I keep the conversation going every day) My instincts tell me she is physically attracted to me more than her boyfriend. He eats fast food every day and is very out of shape, and I have a very athletic body. I think about her every day, and part of me wants her to be happy. Another part of me wants her to be unhappy with her relationship so that she will move back and be single again.

    I am thankful for every moment I spent with her yet saddened as I feel something potentially great slipped through my fingers. Is there any hope? Anything more I can do? Comments, suggestions, and general feedback is welcome.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by wiseguy View Post

    At this point, I don't know what to do. I plan to keep in touch as much as possible in an appropriate way. But what is appropriate when it comes to girls with boyfriends? I mean, I know if I had a girlfriend that was texting another single, straight guy every day, I would be suspicious and not too happy about it.
    So, the girl of your dreams is a girl who has a boyfriend, but keeps in daily contact with a guy she knows has the hots for her.

    Seems like you might want to raise your "dream girl" standards a bit.

  3. #3
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    Jun 2011
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    Response

    Quote Originally Posted by ConniptionFit View Post
    So, the girl of your dreams is a girl who has a boyfriend, but keeps in daily contact with a guy she knows has the hots for her.

    Seems like you might want to raise your "dream girl" standards a bit.

    The contact we have is never inappropriate and nothing more than friendly conversation. I've never expressed verbally that I "have the hots for her." The only hints she may have gotten is via body language or intuition.

    Also, for the past few days, our communication has gone down quite a bit. Neither one of us has done anything regrettable.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by wiseguy View Post
    The contact we have is never inappropriate and nothing more than friendly conversation. I've never expressed verbally that I "have the hots for her." The only hints she may have gotten is via body language or intuition.

    Also, for the past few days, our communication has gone down quite a bit. Neither one of us has done anything regrettable.
    OK, assuming she doesn't know how you feel, that means you are one of those losers that lurk around in the background waiting and hoping that someday she will break up with her boyfriend and be with you.

    You should google the following:

    •Ladder theory
    •Emotional tampon
    •Gay boyfriend

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