I really need help guys plz

[tamwolf]

Hii guys, i hope u can help me in this..............my g.f dumped me for no reason( she didnt convince me with her reasons) anyways i will get to this point later on, i will tell u the entire story.....i m 21 she is 16( i know maybe u will say there is somehow difference in the ages) well guys we have been 6 month together it was my best relation ever we were deeply in love, we
never argued for anything( some stupid missunderstanding once or twice max), anyhow it was new years eve few weeks from today, i was at her place we made out all night and slept at her place too, her parents re cool she like me so much, anyways 3 days after new year, we talked on the phone as we usually do, she opened a subject that i lied to her (which is not true at all) so we manage to fix it, next day i called her from work to see whether she is still sad or smth, she was like i wasnt convince with the stuff that u told me yest, so i was like i swear all what i told u was the truth, still she didnt wanna believe me.So i told her,that what i can conclude from herreaction is that she need a stupid excuse to brake up ,

so she was like if u want a brake up lets be a brake up.
Second day i waited her to call all day ( i thought she will but she didnt) so i called her, i asked her what happened and what about her decision she was like yes i dont want to have a relation no more, i was so shocked , i even cried after she closed the phone ( cos i was really in love this time), so i asked her to think about her call and call me in few days, also she did not,
so 3 days after the last call, i went to her house hoping to get her back( maybe i was weak by doing all these stuff , i know but i was dying and needed an explanation),so i tried to know why she want us to brake up, she was like its not cos u lied but cos i dont feel anything towards u like i used to do before, so i asked her did u find some1 else she was like no, i wouldnt even had time to do this( while laughing ), i had wrote her a letter before comming to her place( telling her whats really in my heart), so after talking to her when i was at her place, i realized that all this talk is not gonna help, so i gave her the poems that she used to write me( but she was like throw
them do whatever u want with them i dont want them back)...thats what i did cos i was so pissed..anyhow before leaving i gave her the letter hoping this will be my last bullet..................and i m still waiting till now it has been 2 days after the letter and nothing so far no call from her no nothing.........i really need her back cos i did not do anything to deserve all this.........can any1 tell me why did she chose to brake up........plz clearify some stuff to me cos she did not

[cycletease]

When I was young I was in several relationships with much older men, like your situation. It is a difficult because while your feelings for each other are real, there are also real world issues and life differences that will get in the way. If she were 30 and you 35 the five years wouldn't be much of a differences, but from 16 to 21 is a big difference. She is still living at home, presumably still in high school and has very little life experience behind her.

No one can tell you what happened, here.If she doesn't want to tell you her true reasons I don't believe pressuring her into will help at all. She clearly needs some space. Maybe after some time she will feel comfortable talking to you, but she is very young and it takes a lot of maturity to confront complex emotional situations...she may not be ready. No matter what the reason it is not going to feel good. I think we have all been in your situation, break ups are really hard.

It seems likely to me that she needs to do some maturing before your relationship could be a success. You may never be able to get back together, but you never know. I would say to leave her alone for a while and maybe she will get curious about you and call...

[tamwolf]

Well girl, thanks for ur help, the thing is that she had 3 previous relation before me, and she is the one who told me that she hate the guys in her age cos they are stupid and she needs some1 mature enough, to share this feeling with her, anyways we stayed together for 6 month, so if what u re saying is true why did she do her move( the break up thingy ) before, before we have draft too far in the feelings part..........do u think she might call back ......this is the letter that i gave her last day when i saw her:.........
if u didnt want this to happen then we can fix everything
its not that big deal
it might be big but not bigger then the love that joined us for 6 month (if it was love)

if u didnt have this in mind all planned out then im willing to do anything to bring our souls back together.
to live back those seconds, mimnuts hours and days we lived before
and even more


but if this was a decision of yours not something that is putting you under preasure
if your love for whatever that is ( your dignity your parent or even yourself)was powerfull enough to forget about us then!

then ! let it be

I am a man with a dream, a dream of living for two

one is me and two used to be you

My life is a bunch of dreams getting realised once at a time
a life with two people living as one enjoying life enjoying each other and the unity that makes us
enjoying life together............but thats not all,
as u said I stood by your side I was there when u needed me, I was by your side when u screwd up I was there in the bad times, not coz u wanted that but coz I enjoyed it
I really did

A person that loves u is a person that stands by you in the bad time but everybody will be there for themselvs in the good times.
Everybody will be with u when they need your help but only a lover stays there when u need her

a sudden stubborn attitude
thats not you!
not your style
thats not even normal (for someone who loves)

its either ur planning and if it is so then I say good job It was a very good act u've done till the last moment.

or its something else thats hurting you and if it is so I am willing to do anything to help us out of this, anything, and u know that I will (if this was the case).

I dont want an answer I dont even want to know.
You think about it for yourself
not for us anymore

as we both know (Life goes on)
(Life would have tasted better with you by my side, but if u wont then enjoy...)
I wish you good luck With your plans seems mine doesnt help in yours since this is your decision

hope to see u later in a better situation

goodbye beautifull friend


A small cub was born he needed food and shelter and there was his mother.
He tryed to walk, he fell, she was there helping him all the way till he started to walk.
Soon he started running and mother wolf was happy to see that.
She helped him hunt down his meals, till he knew where a pray should be bit.
A day came when he felt powerfull enough almost powerfull enough to bite her.
At that time the sage mom decided its time to take care of her life, letting go the used to be little cub hoping he doesnt get hurt, and if he does its his responsibility.

her responsibility is herself and maybe someone else that needs to continue the track to the north pole with her.

to conclude: live for your loved ones as if they were a part of you
when they bite, then its time to let go.

[uptownboy]

Bro, I feel you, I do.

But you needs to hit the clubs and start spitt'n your game. Keep in mind those young girls like that are constantly in a stage of change with their emotions. What was great yesterday might be repulsive tomorrow.

[tamwolf]

Ok , but how can i make her feel guilty of what she did( maybe when she realize what she did, she will think of calling faster), i know her best friend( whose is a girl),so maybe i can get some info from her, whether she is she left me for some1, whats pissing me off is to be dunped for no reason, and not to be tell why............i feel like i have been raped for 6 month, living a ****in lie for 6 month..............so do u think guys that i can make her miss me in a way or another......btw she told me that she still want to be friend of mine cos she still need me as a friend

[Quan]

Stop wasting your time worrying about how you can make her feel guilty. Either she will want you back, or she will move on with her life as should you. Just start doing things to make yourself happy again. Don't try to dig up information. If she sees that you are happy she may think she made a mistake and come after you (at which time you can decide to take her back or not) or she will see you happy and not care.. move on with her life while you move on with yours. It is not worth it to dwell on past relationships, trust me... i JUST stopped doing this to myself. Find someone else, move on... do your own thing.

[Quan]

oh yea.... its your call on being friends.... I know I will not be able to be friends with my ex because of the way things went down with our breakup. Lies and deceit damage a relationship, in the end.. it takes both of you understanding and forgiving the other for whatever happens during/after the breakup.

[tamwolf]

Hey man, what do you suggest me to do if she went online, cos usally she goes online on saturday.........so do u think i should act normally ( or show her that i m sad) or happy and as if nothing happened and that i m going on with my life in a very normal way ( knowing that i m not cos i m still in a shock and so sad)....

[schueys_girl]

Im sorry to say this because i know you have already said it isnt really about age, but it really is! No matter how mature or how much you think you know a 16 year old you really dont. I cannot believe how much I have changed from the age of 16 to 18 and then from the age of 18 to 20. It really is unbelievable and I only see it now after all the changes have happened. 16 is a very crucial age in a girls life, hormones go wild and wont be settled for several years and she really will be a different person in a few years.

The difference between you is not only measured in years (16 to 21 is a big difference) but also as someone else said in life experience. Realistically this girl has none. Regardless of how many relationships she has had she is still living with parents, has no real responsibilities and is probabaly still worrying about homework. I know this doesnt minimalise the love you shared in the relationship, because love knows no age, but this girl is only very young and is at a vunerable time in her life, if she wants to let go then let her go.

At 16 she probably wont be looking for anything serious (she is still so young she really shouldnt be looking to settle down!) so the relationship probably run its course. I also have to say you were pretty lucky with her parents being ok with you! If i had a boyfriend your age at 16 theres no way you would be able to stay at my house let alone even see you lol Last year when i was 19 had a boyfriend who was 23 and parents hit the roof! Anyway i digress...

Give up on making her feel guilty or trying to screw her over, you are older and more mature and therefore you should take the sensible line and move on. Sounds like you need to focus on yourself and have some fun with friends, start a new hobby and start going out clubs, pubs, playing pool, things you cant do with a 16 year old because she is underage!!

No one can ever really say why a relationship breaks up, only the person who does the breaking. No one on this forum can give you any proper answers, only good advice. So pick yourself, cut contact with her for a while and get on with your life. By still speaking to her and showing you are vunerable you are leaving yourself open to her and may end up getting played or messed around, which definetely wont help.

Stop all contact and enjoy some me-time. Have some fun with friends. Someone else will come along, maybe someone your own age, someone older, or someone younger again, or maybe she will come back to you, who knows? But until that happens enjoy your life and dont worry about someone who doesnt want to be part of it anymore.

[tamwolf]

10x Schuey's girl, u helped me realise some stuff i did not give enough importance, anyways i m trying to do what u've told and what dozens of friends told me.............life goes on.....so grab ur stuff and keep walking...............thats what i m gonna do but it needs some time to do this, i cant just do it one time(maybe other ppl can do it, but as for me i know myself i m weak when it comes to feelings cos when i love i do it for real, i cant fake love with any girl, i never did , and never will do in the future[ hope so ].................anyways 10x guys and girls for ur thoughts and explanations, everybody helped in his own..........peace keep on helping and i m ready to help and give advices myself too..laters...........check my forum.....i m creating one---> [url]http://forums.cjb.net/index.php?mforum=tamwolf[/url] <---- register and take part of it