I'm in need of help with my relationship... What should I do?

[shantia]

I met my first love in August of 2009. We ended up breaking up l but got back together in the October of 2009. When we first got together he told me before me that his first love earlier that year of 2009 had broken up with him. He said over the Summer of 2009 he had gotten over her, but I knew that he truly didn't because that's his first love. In December of 2010 we got engaged. Until a few months later in March he broke it off with me because of a arguement we had. That's when he met this girl in his neighborhood and she was helping him out with his relationship problems but at the same time trying to get him away from me. He told me she has a little son and he cares for her little son a lot.He has been over her place before. He told me he has never cheated or did anything intimate with her. He recently told me this even though it happened 3 months ago. He told me that the timing wasn't right yet that's why he waited to telle now.So now it's been 3 people he truly care about me who's he's truly in love with, he still have feelings for his first love, and he cares a lot about the other girl too. Now he's telling me just wait see how it plays off. He leaves to the army in August this year. He told me and asked me will it be ok with me for him to continue seeing them. He takes them out too. What should I do? I truly love him and I am in love with him,but my mind is telling me something else. Did he really deserve a second chance? Should I let this go for good? I really need some advice. Thank You if you can help me out in your best way possible. Thank You!

[ConniptionFit]

This would be you acting like a doormat. When you act like a doormat, all you can expect is to be attractive to guys who will treat you that way.

[Boisdevie]

Does he deserve a second chance? NO

[Wakeup]

I met my first love in August of 2009. We ended up breaking up l but got back together in the October of 2009. When we first got together he told me before me that his first love earlier that year of 2009 had broken up with him. He said over the Summer of 2009 he had gotten over her, but I knew that he truly didn't because that's his first love. In December of 2010 we got engaged. Until a few months later in March he broke it off with me because of a arguement we had. That's when he met this girl in his neighborhood and she was helping him out with his relationship problems but at the same time trying to get him away from me. He told me she has a little son and he cares for her little son a lot.He has been over her place before. He told me he has never cheated or did anything intimate with her. He recently told me this even though it happened 3 months ago. He told me that the timing wasn't right yet that's why he waited to telle now.So now it's been 3 people he truly care about me who's he's truly in love with, he still have feelings for his first love, and he cares a lot about the other girl too. Now he's telling me just wait see how it plays off. He leaves to the army in August this year. He told me and asked me will it be ok with me for him to continue seeing them. He takes them out too. What should I do? I truly love him and I am in love with him,but my mind is telling me something else. Did he really deserve a second chance? Should I let this go for good? I really need some advice. Thank You if you can help me out in your best way possible. Thank You!

Theres lots wrong with you, Shantia if you'd settle to be third string on this playlist. This man will NOT BE FAITHFUL to you while away at war. You can bet your last dollar on that one. I'm sorry but this is the truth whether you think I'm a horrible person for telling you, I don't care because you need to hear it.

He's asked you to be one of three woman (thus far) why would you allow yourself that position if what you actually want is to be in a monogamous relationship with this man? Thats settling because you're afraid to be alone and you don't have enough love for yourself to have the strength to tell him to go fvck himself and the horse he rode in on. You give him everything he wants from you while he shares himself with two other women. Why would you enable him to do that to you? Why?

Please get some therapy for your low self worth, your fear of abandonment, your disrespect for yourself and hopefully with some professional guidance, you'll have the assertiveness training and the personal boundaries in place that will give you the strength to respect yourself and leave a man who doesn't value you. He may have not physically cheated while in a relationship with you but he certainly emotionally cheated which if you know the difference between sex and love, you'd find that emotional cheating is worse then the physical. He did break it off with you three times. That's likely when the physical/sex took place with these other women.

Leave him now. He doesn't love you like someone who prefers monogamous relationships do. Next time make sure you listen to yourself when you know some dude is not over his last relationship. Nothing good ever comes from getting involved with someone who is thinking about someone else and uses you for an emotional bandaid fix to his pain.

Good luck to you, I hope you have the strength to stay away from him for good.