Not getting many women

[thundersw]

Some years ago I decided to study at night on a college (informatic engeneering), I work by day full-time and much of my time is used to rest a little and to work on some projects, so I am unable to do anything else, let alone go out or meet new people. Ussually I only get the sunday's off.

The fact is I don't get many girls to date with, in fact I think I just went out a few times in the last 3 years, and got nothing.
I consider myself mild attractive, but when I call a female friend to go out I ussually get the 'cold treatment', no response, or some lame excuse. But most of the times is no response at all.
But when I'm with them in a group of common friends I get the feeling they try to attract my attention sublty. And most of the times I'm right, but nothing goes from there on.
I have no trouble having a conversation with them, but I'm not much talkative.
I find it very frustrating and some of them I really tried to get something (not sex).

Last time I went to the cinema with old friends, one of my female friend tried to get my attention on the room by sitting at my side with her legs crossed pointing at me and subtly lifting her skirt for me to take a good look on her legs. I felt a bit odd, as she is very friendly and I tried not to look much or do anything for fear of ruining our long friendship. Also I could expect that from any other girl, but not from her. Was just teasing me? Last time I met her she had a boyfriend, but not nowadays.

It seems I can't mantain female interested, only brief attraction.
What you ladies think about this?
Thanks.

[zerokool189]

I'm not a lady, but have you tried some of these sites to meet different groups of people?

meetup.com
google - sport and social club

[thundersw]

Actually, no.
Most of my friends have facebook and the likes. I don't have one because I don't feel very confortable exposing my photos on the internet. I had photos online some years ago and turned to be a bad experience, some of the got modified with not very funny modifications and such....so I quit. Eventually they dissapeared.
I'm just trying to understand why I can get some attention from females while present and when I try to invite them for a date they just turn me off.
I'm not desperate by the way, but latelly I've been felling a tad lonely.

[Boisdevie]

I met lots of women on plentyofish

[thundersw]

I'm not asking for dating websites....

[Yet another guy]

I met lots of women on plentyofish

According to their registration form and wikipedia, it's not available in Portugal.

[zerokool189]

thunder, women can smell confidence like we can smell cheeseburgers and french fries. Low confidence is a turn off for women.

The meetup and sport/social sites are not for dating, they are for meeting new people. It can lead to some dates, but its just to break away from your normal group.

[smackie9]

OK here's a woman's advice....Time to think outside the box. You need to find ways to get into some interests or hobbies that involves being social. All work and no play makes you are a dull boy. Women don't need total attractiveness, they need a guy that is confident and shows a focused interest, that can carry on a light hearted conversation, be fun, have a sense of humor and is social. Sorry but there in nothing else, it's the same old thing that guy tend to avoid but is the way to attract women.

As for your lady friend that was trying for your attention and you avoided her....are you f ucking nuts? You miss opportunities like that you will never find yourself a wife or get laid.

Tip: life is not worth living if you don't take risks.....you should have taken a chance with her.

[thundersw]

Low confidence, that may be the issue. Can't blame myself for not trying, maybe I'm trying too hard. Going to fix that!
I'm asking women and being answered by men, how strange can that be?

[smackie9]

Oh and please do try to dress a little trendy, and try wearing things out of your comfort zone....loafers and a v-neck sweater spells ew! maybe change up your hair style.

I'm a woman and I like beer....that's what would explain my avatar.

[zerokool189]

haha, its all the same. I was in your shoes at one point. I learned through advice and trial and error. Confidence is #1, that's why i think the groups would be geared towards something you are good at.

Smackie's tip is perfect. I always tell myself something when I notice fear holding me back. You will probably only have one moment to make it count. Don't ever wait to do something later, later is not a definite time/date.

[maxmax]

Portuguese women don't know a good thing anyhow - move abroad and you will get a lot more attention ;o)

[thundersw]

As for your lady friend that was trying for your attention and you avoided her....are you f ucking nuts? You miss opportunities like that you will never find yourself a wife or get laid.

I already got laid (if that matters) but not with her, I just weighted in that moment that I could loose a very old friend just because she was giving me a wood.

[thundersw]

Portuguese women don't know a good thing anyhow - move abroad and you will get a lot more attention ;o)

True. I heard the English women are much more "open and friendly" and fat too.

[zerokool189]

all of the above. Thunder, why don't you come to San Diego and stay at my place for a week. I would go take care of your place. I love portuguese women!