Sick and Tired of Being Alone

[rawfan1989]

Hello all. Since this is my first post, I ask you, please be patient. Here it goes. As of right now I am 22 and still a virgin and longing for someone that is totally beautiful on the inside and out. With this longing comes with another overlapping thing I am going through oh by the way this is not a jealousy issue just a equality one. My younger brother on the other hand is 17 and has got an attractive girlfriend and seems nice and if he did not have that he could get any girl he wants. I am glad that he has that quality and I am not jealous but would love to have the same thing. I just want people to take notice. Someone once said, "Life is a climb, but the view is great." But as for me, "Life is a climb, but the view is poor because all I see ruins of times past where I see no light in the future." I am just sick and tired of being alone and just wish someone who will take notice. To be honest I am depressed, pissed and disgusted of my life turned out. I am sick and tired of rejection and no one taking note. For I long for that someone who that will allow me to say that they are the best thing I ever done. I need help please. Thanks

[Red Apollo]

Your lack of confidence is going to work against you every time. You need to quit being depressed, and disgusted with your own life before any quality women will take notice of you. If I can notice it through text on a message board any halfway decent girl is going to see it before you even say "hi." You also need to get this idea of a "perfect soulmate" kinda girl out of your head. It probably makes you very selective about the girls you approach in the first place.

Fix your confidence by working on yourself first. Set some self-improvement goals for yourself and work to achieve them. It'll make you feel better when you get there, people around you will notice your change in confidence, and quality women will follow. Its not an overnight change and it requires some work on your part though. The alternative would be continuing to hate your life, and only attract women who are desperate or have their own self esteem issues and baggage.

[MerryH]

To be honest I am depressed, pissed and disgusted of my life turned out. I am sick and tired of rejection and no one taking note.

Not to be a jerk, but your attitudes and bitterness are not attractive. Work on being okay with yourself and stop being angry that no one notices you, because that's mostly your own fault.

For I long for that someone who that will allow me to say that they are the best thing I ever done.

Why don't you focus on other things that can be the best thing you've ever done so far. Like graduate college, run a marathon, climb a mountain, travel, whatever. You're placing too much importance on finding someone who will make your life better. A girlfriend won't make your life that much better, but if you really believe that, then there are some things lacking in your life that you need to take care of. You can't put that much pressure on someone. It's not healthy.

[maxmax]

You are 22 ... that is hardly old enough to be sick and disgusted at how your life has turned out.

Now is the time to make the changes you know you need to so that you can be happy.

Finding a girl is only a small part of that.

[cheeky&sexy]

Im in a similar position as you with the whole depressed and lonely thing.. never been in a relationship.. experienced lots of rejection.. and my younger brother is in love with his gf of nearly a yr and i cant stand her or their relationship. So i feel your pain, people not in our situation will never understand it so dont pay attention to rude comments. But they are right in what theyre saying also that you need to work on yourself and do things that make you confident. Set goals that dont involve a relationship.. just dont even focus on the opposite sex.. do everything u can to improve every other aspect of your life first so you can build some confidence. If you can id also advice to stay away from clubs, other couples.. situations that r going to make u feel alone. Focus on your friendships because through friends can provide opportunities to meet the opposite sex. Do things that you're good at, so maybe you can be a leader in something, that always improves confidence and self worth.

I have to tell you that u have to be prepared, like someone else has already said.. u cant expect to see changes overnight. Ive been working on myself all year, improved my confidence and achievement in every aspect of my life that ive made great.. except my love life and family life.. for some reason that confidence doesnt translate over to my love life. And my family life only sucks because theyre the ones who have to deal with my bad attitude due to me being miserable because of my lack of love life. Anyway, the point i was going to make that ties all of this together is that u can improve every aspect of your life except love life, but u can still have low self esteem and be miserable if u put yourself in situations that make u feel alone before you're ready. Which is the mistake i make. I am confident, happier and have great self esteem in my friendships, at work, at uni, at my sporting teams.. then put me in a club or when i have to hang out with couples.. it makes me alone and miserable. I think in order for the confidence to make an impact into your love life you need to remove yourself from situations that could 'set u back', until you're completely self confident. So i hope my advice is helpful, i wish someone told me this in the beginning, how important it is to step back and take a break from focusing on the opposite sex.

[ConniptionFit]

Basing your life around getting a woman is pretty stupid. That being said, there are a variety of things you can do to pretty much ensure you won't have trouble getting a woman:

• Hit the weights and the cardio. The majority of women like a man who is in shape an has some muscle tone. The added muscle mass and strength will alos improve your self-confidence and the way you carry yourself.

• Increase your social circle and social skills. Spend time doing things that put you in contact with a variety of people (men and women) and observe how the more successful men attract women. This will allow you to learn these skills, as well as to give you more opportunities to meet girls.

• Learn to be a good dancer- learn at least hip-hop, freestyle, swing, salsa, and ballroom. Being a good dancer and knowing how to lead a woman and mix styles is a great way to sweep women off their feet.

• Learn fashion sense. Pay attention to fashion and what the successful guys wear. Also, get a fashionable haircut.

• Get a career or business that gives you financial success. Being financially successful is attractive in and of itself and it gives you many more social opportunities.

• Develop a circle of women friends that you have zero intention of being romantic with. This will teach you how to relate to women and will give you the power to interact with women without having to worry about whether or not you are impressing them. This will give you an advantage in all your other relationships with women. More than likely, one or more of the women from this group will eventually fall for you. You can decide later on if you want to become romantically involved with the women from this group who want that.

• Research the variety of other things you can do to improve your self-esteem and then do those things.

Spend the next 5 to 10 years concentrating on these things, and you will have no trouble attracting women.