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Thread: Need advice about my relationship

  1. #1
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    Need advice about my relationship

    I have met my boyfriend 5 years ago through a common friend. It was a sort of love at first sight. He was the smartest, most interesting person i've ever met. To be honest in my eyes he was a genius, and i think i really fell in love with his intelligence more so than with other qualities. But with that came one flaw: it's impossible to convince him that he is wrong, because he always uses logic and he always thinks he is right. I guess i also have to mention that he is overly protective of me, which doesn't sound like the worst thing, but because of that im not allowed to go out with friends without him or just leave my house for a walk. I sort of ignore his crazy requests, and avoid having arguments, since i cannot win them. But now...

    With this little intro i would like to describe my current problem. I recently graduated with a degree that sort of hard to find a job with. My father was able to get an interview for me in his company, and they offered a position. But the problem is that it will involve travelling to remote areas for u to 2 week periods. After my boyfriend found out about that he told me that i am not allowed to take it if i don't want to fight with him everyday. He says if i take it i will be responsible for our relationship problems. So i feel if i wont take it i will hurt my father and possibly i wont get another such great opportunity, but if i do i will ruin my relationship and it will probably be best if we break up.

    I dont know what to do. It pains me even to think to break up with him because of a job, but if i miss this chance i will hate myself for listening to him and eventually start hating him. Ii also believe that he is too stubborn to accept the nature of my job and just let go.

    Please, help me make a right decision.

  2. #2
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    Take the job. Partners should help each other grow, not hold them back. Don't break up unless he wants it, there is no reason. If you grow apart as a consequence, so be it. And congratulations on your new job, if you are nearly as conscientious about it as your relationship, I know you'll do a terrific job.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    Go for the job , it just seams like he wants to control you and hold you back. A couple is supost to support eachother and like you said you may never get another chance like this one with that job. If he truely loves you he wouldent tell you that you are the one who is going to be responsible for all the relationship problems . I know it might be hard do it but if he hold you back you might hafto leave him.

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    I agree with everyone so far. You're young, you don't need to be controlled to the extent that you become unemployed and helpless without him supporting you. Get your career started and hopefully he'll be the one to grow up and accept that you can do this job and still be able to maintain a happy relationship.

    If he's too immature and you breakup then know without a doubt that you're better off without him.
    “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion

  5. #5
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    Note: Please let him read this

    Overly protective? Not allowed to leave the house for a walk? Huh??? He's a jealous manipulator. Here's the deal with your Super Intelligent Boyfriend: HE'S A ****KIN COCK SUCKER!

    If I were your Dad or Brother, I'd seriously be inclined to slap him silly.....take the job and find a real man who supports you.
    Last edited by surfhb; 14-06-11 at 12:28 PM.

  6. #6
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    Intelligence doesn't necessarily = emotionally secure, Surfhb. If fact, if they have any tendencies towards autism, which some very intelligent people do, they are sometimes very insecure. Could be the case for her BF. Doesn't change what she needs to do for herself, mind.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    Intelligence doesn't necessarily = emotionally secure, Surfhb. If fact, if they have any tendencies towards autism, which some very intelligent people do, they are sometimes very insecure. Could be the case for her BF. Doesn't change what she needs to do for herself, mind.
    Umm...Yeaaah. She should leave this guy

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    Your BF is a control freak - he has no right to stop you doing anything you want. Leave him and find somebody who respects you

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