Friends with an Ex on Facebook?

[curiousgurl29]

What do you think about defriending an ex on facebook...if you are the one who did the breaking up? I have been talking to an ex who is long-distance for a while now (we broke up about 4 mos ago) and we have been facebook friends the whole time. I am currently Debating whether or not to go visit him (he lives in another country). He has told me that he still really loves me and wants to marry me. Our friends still post old pics of us together ... Just makes me feel so sad. I find myself checking his page all the time. But I donn't know if that's healthy! We broke up for a real reason. (Although that's easy to forget when I'm so far away!) What would be the right thing to do, if we go back to ending it for good? What will cause hiim the least amount of pain?

Also, I feel bad becasue we've been talking all time ... If we "break up again" (although we are not together and I definitely have not made any promises) I feel like I will be hurting him again!

[flynhayn]

Are YOU even sure you don't want a relationship with this guy? It sounds like you still have feelings for him. I mean come on, if you're considering visiting him when he's in another country, especially after knowing how he feels about you, there's something keeping you around. You need to figure out what that is first.... then decide. You may still be interested, or you may just need to appreciate the good things you liked about him, then move on.... and definitely don't drag him along if you do. That means no facebook, phone/text, emails, nothing. It would be doing both you and him a favor.

[curiousgurl29]

Thanks, Flyhyan

[LouisP]

I delete my ex's from everything to prevent having to face temptation.

[Wakeup]

Unless you have plans to move where this guy lives now, don't be playing with this guys heart. If you don't have any plans on getting back and having a relationship with this man, then don't be stringing him along. He says he still loves you and if you don't still love this man, don't be giving him false hope. If you plan on going to visit him then don't have sex with him becuause you'll just cloud the issue and confuse the sex for true feelings.

Why are you entertaining this? Seriously figure that out because a long distance thng will never work for you.. I can tell by your indiciision and how you play with this guy by keeping him around when you don't seem to really want him nor can you have him when you don't live in the same country.

Just being "friends" with him when he says he still loves you is you being mean to one another. Defriend and block him and let him get over you and on with his life. Tell him what you're doing and don't let him guilt you into maintaining this contact that stagnates you both from moving on.

[curiousgurl29]

Walkeup, Just saw this post. Hahah. Looking through my old posts because I'm finally doing the deleting. Thanks for your advice

[confusius]

Man! Wish my ex came here and read this thread about exes. She seriously made me think that I was just immature and too jealous because I would ask her to stop contacting, visiting exes and their families. lol

Don't string the guy around. That's all I have to say. You will just hurt him even more. Give him the chance to understand you are not coming back and to move on with his life.

[jjpm]

You shouldn't just de-friend without explanation. If you've been keeping the lines of communication open, this could come across as a complete shock and unnecessarily hurtful, or at the least, offensive. Kindly explain what your position is (if you've decided you want to move on indefinitely) and then proceed to prune him out of your life. NC + facebook deletion would be the healthiest way to do this.

[ForMadmenOnly]

My advice would be to first decide what you want to do. Then let your ex know about your decision and make sure you stick with it.

If you decide that breaking up was right and want to move on, then let him know that and do all thing necessary to move on. Including removing him from facebook. Hell if needed even take a break from facebook all together.

If you decide that you want to give another chance in your relationship, again be open about it and discuss with him to see how you can make it work.

My 2p.