Confused relationship. Was I stupid for doing this?

[crackerjack113]

I kissed a girl (first kiss) who likes two guys, me and a close friend. I like her like crazy but the other guy thinks that she's annoying. After the first couple kisses, I asked her about who she liked and she said it was both of us still but said this: "he's that little nagging feeling in the back of my mind. but for the most part, you're kind of always on my mind." I like her a lot lot and my main thinking now is that her still liking this other guys is a measure of how much she likes him: equal to or more than me, since we've been through a lot compared to with the other guy and yet she still gets mind****ed when this other guy ignores her for a bit or whatever.

Recently at this social gathering when four of us were under the moon at this hill on blankets, I refused to cuddle with her, which we always did in the past before I found out about her double crush, and even though she kept on playing with my hair or lying on my chest, I never did anything back. She was noticeably sad and our last farewell that night was a light "pat-on-the-back" hug, where it usually would have been a kiss. It's one of the last occasions where we can meet up as we did.

I'm confused as to whether I should have been irritated or not by her liking this other guy too although she says that it's a very small thing. I don't know if I should have acted the way I should. My friend said that if I had any self-respect, I would have done what I did that night since she messes with my mind and (he thinks) likes the other guy still. Your thoughts? This is my first semi-girlfriend and I'm an upperclassman in high school.

[Wakeup]

Tell her she knows where to find you when she makes up her mind. Then cut all contact, if she wants you she'll let you know. WTF would you entertain her while she hangs out and entertains the other guy along with you?

Don't enable her to be the princess she appears to be acting like. What's her name ... Scarlet O'Hara?

[Bonfire]

So she has a crush on two people. That's not uncommon. I think you are taking this the wrong way. Here is your chance to convince her you are the one. Instead you play the jealousy card right off the bat. You shouldn't be jealous because she doesn't belong to anyone at this point. She is trying to figure out who she likes. And it sounded like she was leaning towards you. You got the kiss and she was warming up to you. So give it more time, she'll probably end up being your girlfriend. But now, you are backing off before anything progresses. I think that is a mistake.

[crackerjack113]

How would I know if she chose me for me anyway? I feel like she would jump to me mostly because the other guy doesn't like her. Call it insecurity or whatever but is it alright if the above is true? Because I know for a fact and most my friends know that she only started liking me after it became clear to her that the other guy (my friend) didn't like her back.

Either case, I want to know if I handled it well or not and right now I'm still not positive. Thanks for your responses! The second reply was particularly interesting. Any more feedback?

[Wakeup]

People with self respect don't compete for a person who is too flakey to know what she wants. They walk and if the person makes up their mind and wants them, then they will gladly take her/him on if they are still available and haven't found someone who is precise and knows what and who they want.

Set your sights on other girls and quit playing this little girls games. If she wants you and has no interest in the other guy, she can call you and let you know.

[girl68]

I don't think you should do any convincing. She's playing you both, while I'm sure she does like you both she's still playing you both. She *wants* you to make a play for her and she wants you both to adore her for a long time... while she just sits back and enjoys you 2 boys crushing on her.

Also she has this nagging feeling that when she's ignored by the other guy she crushes harder on him right? That's easy she just wants what she can't have. When she's ignored she is even more obsessed. Why don't you back off and she may well come running?

My point is lay it out there like another poster said. Say I like you, I want you but you need to make up your mind. I'm not going to be one of 2 guys for you. I'll be your one and your only. You know where you can find me until then I have to back off. And then BACK OFF. She might come running she might not but at least you won't be playing her game.

[deepika_16]

There is an old saying;
�Love is a war.
This war will end
when life will end.�
If you really [URL="http://www.myboyisanidiot.com"]love someone[/URL], than do as wise as you can. There is nothing to be confused if she likes other guys too. She may be likes them as good friends. Or else you cannot change her mentality by doing anything. You give what you can to her and just do not discuss about any other guys. If you feel so that she is not loyal with you, than just let her go and let her realized the truth. Once she realized, she will be back for sure and this time it will be only you.