Pregnant and alone

[Lonelylilmama]

Where do I start :/ I dont quite know.

I was seeing my partner for over a year now we have had our problems. Hes a flirt im jealous, but at the end of the day the majority of the time we where best freinds with each other alot and catching jokes together his fam likes me n his hest freind (more like a brother to him) likes me too we all get on well. Any way at the end of last yr november time he dumped me and it did kind of hit me hard well actually it did lol but slowly i started to get over him and then one day in feb i called him up askin if he wanted to go out clubbing with me (only coz i thought it woud be fun n could of done with the extra petrol money lol i know lol :s) any way he didnt come he thought there was a hidden agenda behind it like i was gonna get people to beat him up or sumthign lol loser. Anyyyyway after light texting in the week he asked if iw anted to chill i was a bit wary of it at first but i went there as just a freind and actualy thought that would how it was gonna be i dunno maybe i was being blinded by the lights anyway... a month went on we where still seeing each other quite regular through the time passing he was still a flirt i still got a bit envious now and then. I found out i was a month pregnant in april. since then it hasntreally been the same hes more distant needing more space all the time. Yea i know becoming a parent is scarey im scared too its not what he wanted and i would just like to say i didnt trick him into being pregnant. I suffer with pcos wich is basicaly a problem with my ovaries they have cysts on them and i didnt think it would be that easy for me to get pregnant to be honest u know i guess we the both of us got a bit to comfertable and stopped using condoms yes i know really stupid and as happy as i am to be actualy having a baby without IVF or anything i feel lucky and dont want to have abortion. Basically I have been dealing with this on my own and i guess it is the way its going to stay through out the pregnancy because he just hasnt been there for me i understand he needs time to have a think and get his head round it, and i have seen him here and there well often but not as often as usual 2 weeks ago we also went to the first official 12 week scan could this of been a shock to him. He basicaly broke up with me last saturday What i want to know is it because he is scared of commitment and having to settle or is it just because the spark is gone like he has said and that he just doesnt have feelings for me any more he needs space, he also sed maybe hell change his mind when the baby is born but he doesnt know. not that i think i will accept that so easily for him to just come into our lives when he feels like it. I feel so sad and alone and insecure I know I sound pathetic but i just felt i had to get this out my system im not close with my family really my moms not around atm for me to go hide away for a while n i dont really have freinds i can talk to oin that level only a couple and i dont want to keep going on at them all the time. Any feedback is welcome even the brutally honest. I feel like a doodoo head right now and i do know i need to stay strong for my baby sake and i am trying but someitmes i just need to let out how i feel and hopefully share with likeminded people or people that are wise in relationships lol x

[leoben]

If he won't even stick around during your pregnancy which is the easiest part of the whole child thing then there is no way he will stick around when nobody can sleep because there's a baby screaming all night.

You don't sound pathetic and you aren't a doodoo head but you do need to start planning to have this kid without him. Feel free to come here and vent!

[bluesummer]

What's done is done, there's no need to get down on yourself about it.

Above poster is right, you're going to have to start thinking of yourself as a single parent because it doesn't look like he's going to be around. It would be a stretch to even hope for him to be around for the kid. Guys who dump you while pregnant are usually hoping that dumping you magically makes the baby 'go away' too. I don't know what the laws are like in the UK, but here you can sue the father for child support......so if he doesn't start helping out with this kid 50/50 once it's born, hopefully you have other ways to make him. It's just as much his fault for not wrapping it up.

You don't know, though. Maybe he needs some time to really take in the seriousness of all this. He likely is quite shocked. He could come around it time and turn out to be a perfectly decent Dad. I wouldn't hold out for that though.......just carry on like it will be just you and your baby. Do you have family or friends for support?

[IndiReloaded]

I've seen single moms with and without partners involved. If the father is a jerk, then it can actually be easier to have them not involved instead of causing drama for you and your child. Consider this seriously; it may be harder in the short term without his support, but better longterm if he's not ultimately going to be an engaged parent. You'll be saving your kid a lot of heartache.

[Lonelylilmama]

yea its true he has already dumped me btw n i have been thinkin this if he cant even support me now lol f him for makin me feel this way. i have just woke up n started to panick already

[Lonelylilmama]

i only have a couple of ppl i can talk 2 but they are hearing me talk bout this all the time i feel i cant keep talking bout it u no?

[Pinkpixie]

He sounds like a loser, typical male flirt trying to boost his ego and cant stand by his girl.my son is now 10months old, I had the flirt that turned to cheat. Noone needs someone who makes them feel second best, I finally realised that and got out.i raise my son alone with no contact at all. I do not want rubbish like that in my life ever. I'd say ya fella is just one of them typical loser dads.

[hello1]

My I am guessing you are very young by how you write. Are you still in school?

[Lonelylilmama]

No I am 24 25 in July I guess I am slightly young but old enough. He is 24 SO in my eyes hes still a kid.

[Lonelylilmama]

He sounds like a loser, typical male flirt trying to boost his ego and cant stand by his girl.my son is now 10months old, I had the flirt that turned to cheat. Noone needs someone who makes them feel second best, I finally realised that and got out.i raise my son alone with no contact at all. I do not want rubbish like that in my life ever. I'd say ya fella is just one of them typical loser dads.

Yea your right its just dissapointing and I think thats what upsets me the most, hes always run to me with a problem and now I am left to deal with it alone pixie your very strong and i hope i can have that strength soon. I have just burst out crying in college lol :/ trying to be strong sometimes its overwhelming

[IndiReloaded]

Yea your right its just dissapointing and I think thats what upsets me the most, hes always run to me with a problem and now I am left to deal with it alone pixie your very strong and i hope i can have that strength soon. I have just burst out crying in college lol :/ trying to be strong sometimes its overwhelming

Ugh. Sounds like you are dealing with two children, instead of one on the way. Get a thick skin, sweet, and do what you gotta. Think longterm.

BTW, are you SURE you are ready to keep this baby? Just make sure you consider all options that are available to you, especially if you aren't sure of your ability to care for a child, its a big responsibility and will change your life forever.

[Lonelylilmama]

Yea i knoww its a big responsibility, the thing is I didnt think I could have children coz i have polycystic ovaries thats why i dont want to get rid of it alot of people with polycystic ovaries have to try years for a child and have medication or ivf, I felt like it was a blessing i didnt want to get rid of it

[IndiReloaded]

Well, then blessings to you and your child. Make good choices for his/her sake regarding the father. Best wishes.

[hello1]

He may be in the baby life, you won't know till the baby born and your see how he acts. I think by what you wrote that he will not step up, he wil be in and out of your life but who knows?

Another child born with a father not wanting it.

[Lonelylilmama]

its ok hello it will have me, a child can have so many fathers (not that its gonna be like that) but only the one mother, i will do the very best to look after my child and bring it up to be a good human in this crazy thing we call living