Broke my heart again.

[SunnyJD]

3 weeks ago me and my ex broke up, to everyone that asks, i say it was a decision on both sides but it really was all her. she wanted to end the relationship and i just agreed with it cuz she made it so convincing that i was such an a**hole and treated her so badly, which idk, my friends tell me that i did so much for her and i know i did, but she says i never did. anyway today i had to drop something off at her work and when i saw her i saw a effing hicky on her neck, i cant even explain how i felt, sad, angry, depressed, furious. i wanted to leave right then and there, she asked me twice what was wrong. and i said nothing. then she asked again and i said what is that on your neck, and she looked away and said nothing and this all was gonna happen sooner or later and she didnt want this to happen or for me to see that, but i did. keep in mind that we are broken up and for just about 3 weeks now. we were together for 3 and a half years. i know we are apart and things like this are bound to happen, but im thinking like, already? it just seems f**ked up that already she is with other guys and all... i try to talk to her everyday i thought there still might have been something there that i could ignite again but now i know for sure that she doesnt want to get back with me. i dont know what to do ahh i just went through all this 3 weeks ago and now i have to go through it all over again ugh. i dont want to feel this way right now. i know we are done but i cant just let it go, being together for 3 years and seeing that on her neck and thinking some other guy doing that to her, ahh idk, what should i doo?

[DarkHelmet82]

did you talk to her about it? what happened that made you go back to that bad part?

[Mathias]

3 weeks ago me and my ex broke up, to everyone that asks, i say it was a decision on both sides but it really was all her. she wanted to end the relationship and i just agreed with it cuz she made it so convincing that i was such an a**hole and treated her so badly, which idk, my friends tell me that i did so much for her and i know i did, but she says i never did. anyway today i had to drop something off at her work and when i saw her i saw a effing hicky on her neck, i cant even explain how i felt, sad, angry, depressed, furious. i wanted to leave right then and there, she asked me twice what was wrong. and i said nothing. then she asked again and i said what is that on your neck, and she looked away and said nothing and this all was gonna happen sooner or later and she didnt want this to happen or for me to see that, but i did. keep in mind that we are broken up and for just about 3 weeks now. we were together for 3 and a half years. i know we are apart and things like this are bound to happen, but im thinking like, already? it just seems f**ked up that already she is with other guys and all... i try to talk to her everyday i thought there still might have been something there that i could ignite again but now i know for sure that she doesnt want to get back with me. i dont know what to do ahh i just went through all this 3 weeks ago and now i have to go through it all over again ugh. i dont want to feel this way right now. i know we are done but i cant just let it go, being together for 3 years and seeing that on her neck and thinking some other guy doing that to her, ahh idk, what should i doo?

Nothing. She's single. She can do what she wants.

[SunnyJD]

we talked for a few minutes she kept saying that she didnt want that to happen, for me to see it, and she was sorry, she isnt having sex with anyone and that this was all gonna happen, but she wasnt doing it on purpose and other sh*t. and i was trying to say that i dont know how i feel about it right now, i cant explain how i feel about it. once as i saw it my heart started beating so fast, and i went from a decent feeling to like mad/upset. going back to the bad part- i meant that i feel the same way right now that i did when we broke up 3 weeks ago, maybe even worse. i wanna cry and be all sad, but also this time i wanna say f*ck you to her and be mad and angry.

[DarkHelmet82]

with depression comes anger..Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to... Suffering...

[Wakeup]

... And zero contact leads to indifference.. indifference leads you to emotional freedom from the past.

You need to go zero contact with her. Stop contacting her in every way and delete her from all the dumb sites where people get to advertise themselves for the world to see and get attention from strangers on.

It's over and for whatever reason you guys were'nt meant to last the test of time. You'll eventually get over her if you aren't in each others faces every other week. There will be girls in your future (or there have already been girls) that you will be the one to break up with and immediately get with another girl until you find one that is a good life mate for you and thinks you will be a good life mate for her. But: You won't be able to do that until you cleanse this ex from your system. The only way to do that is to stop being anywhere near her in person or through electronic means.

Keep yourself busy by doing things that interest you and you find fun doing. Be with your friends and let them help you keep busy. Join a co-ed sports league and meet happy, healthy and exciting singles like yourself. First be happy that your single and you'll find someone who is right for you.

Be an interesting person with a passion and you will be interesting to members of the opposite sex.

Be the best you that you can be and start to forget the old you who was with someone who wasnt' good enough for you.

[McRich01]

... And zero contact leads to indifference.. indifference leads you to emotional freedom from the past.

You need to go zero contact with her. Stop contacting her in every way and delete her from all the dumb sites where people get to advertise themselves for the world to see and get attention from strangers on.

It's over and for whatever reason you guys were'nt meant to last the test of time. You'll eventually get over her if you aren't in each others faces every other week. There will be girls in your future (or there have already been girls) that you will be the one to break up with and immediately get with another girl until you find one that is a good life mate for you and thinks you will be a good life mate for her. But: You won't be able to do that until you cleanse this ex from your system. The only way to do that is to stop being anywhere near her in person or through electronic means.

Keep yourself busy by doing things that interest you and you find fun doing. Be with your friends and let them help you keep busy. Join a co-ed sports league and meet happy, healthy and exciting singles like yourself. First be happy that your single and you'll find someone who is right for you.

Be an interesting person with a passion and you will be interesting to members of the opposite sex.

Be the best you that you can be and start to forget the old you who was with someone who wasnt' good enough for you.

Fantastic Post.

[Windmillback]

You were happy and when you her and her hicky all the bad feelings came back. "Wakeup" is completely correct and now you will appreciate the NC concept. When women brake up with you, they want to sugarcoat it. They don't tell you that they met someone else, they want to stay "just friends", they don't want to hurt you and the truth is that their way of breaking up just hurts 10 times more. They tell you things that are not the truth and so when you come back 4 weeks later and want to talk about it and maybe reconcile, they find themselves in this situation of all the half truths and that when deeds that they previously thanked you for, now were never performed by you, statements that they made before all of the sudden were never said and wrongdoings on your part are creative actions in their imagination. They are loosing the game of being truthful about the beak-up and still don't want to just put the truth on the table but trying to manipulate. Ofcoarse this generalizing behavior of all women, which is not accurate but I have experienced it and seen it enough. Specially if they brake up because they cheated or are interested in a different man or have no other man in mind but just think that they can do better than you, it does not reflect well on them and they feel a really big need to somehow make it all your fault or stay close to you so that they think that they have control over you when you speak with mutual friends. This is ugly stuff but understanding it helps you cope with it. About playing games, it is so hurtful to play with ones heart, everyone knows that. When you read ads on dating sites, 98% of people write in their ad that they refuse to deal with people that want to play games, yet in 70% (a guess) of break-ups, one or both are playing very mean mind games. Go figure it out.

[Deeza07]

... And zero contact leads to indifference.. indifference leads you to emotional freedom from the past.

You need to go zero contact with her. Stop contacting her in every way and delete her from all the dumb sites where people get to advertise themselves for the world to see and get attention from strangers on.

It's over and for whatever reason you guys were'nt meant to last the test of time. You'll eventually get over her if you aren't in each others faces every other week. There will be girls in your future (or there have already been girls) that you will be the one to break up with and immediately get with another girl until you find one that is a good life mate for you and thinks you will be a good life mate for her. But: You won't be able to do that until you cleanse this ex from your system. The only way to do that is to stop being anywhere near her in person or through electronic means.

Keep yourself busy by doing things that interest you and you find fun doing. Be with your friends and let them help you keep busy. Join a co-ed sports league and meet happy, healthy and exciting singles like yourself. First be happy that your single and you'll find someone who is right for you.

Be an interesting person with a passion and you will be interesting to members of the opposite sex.

Be the best you that you can be and start to forget the old you who was with someone who wasnt' good enough for you.

I totally agree with this....been there, done that, could write the book. No contact is definitely the best way to go - hard for me as we have a daughter together, but there was no contact outside of visitation. It took me 8 months of no contact before I was ready to start dating...and now 18 months after the breakup I'm with a man I adore, and couldn't care less about my ex. It seems hard now, but you will get there. The one thought that got me through was "why do I want this man who doesn't want me? I'm better than that, and I deserve better than that"

[SunnyJD]

i know that we are done and all, i dont really know what my feelings are 100% yet, i feel like i still want to be with her but i dont think that i want to be with her as much as i hate the fact that she moved on so fast. it is complete bull sh*t on her side, i think. she broke my heart when we broke up and now i feel like she just stabbed me in the back when i saw that hicky on her neck today. i am more mad about the fact that she moved on this fast than i am sad about wanting her back. also i had another post on here when we first broke up explaining everything, and some peoples comments were about her bitching all the time and i dont have to deal with that anymore, and i think about that a lot, not being around her unhappiness and getting into fights everyday. its just hard though because we were together for so long and basically that is all i know how to do (being with her) now i have to find myself all over again and get used to the fact that she isnt around anymore. i am going to try this no contact with her and i hope this works, however it will be kind of hard because we babysit our friends 2 year old every saturday, so what i texted her earlier is that im going to get him right when i am done with work tomorrow and keep him for a few hours and then drop him off with her. what we normally do is i get him and then we watch him together until we put him to bed, but i cant do that now... right now i atleast know that i have to stop thinking about her and stop talking to her because i feel like she f**ked me over big time and she has no consideration of the way i feel because as long as she gets what she wants right now she is happy, f*ck that. maybe in time i will get to the part where i think that its good that she is happy and all but right now she can suck it.

[Bigboy77]

"maybe in time i will get to the part where i think that its good that she is happy and all but right now she can suck it."

hahahah well said