Opposites Attract?

[aznprince1989]

Hello Everyone,

My name is Michael Khoun and I am seeking advice on my current situation.

A little bit about myself- I am a Marine, very goal oriented, going to college, I have a nice car, I have a nice physique meaning I work out, I believe I am good looking, respectful and very nice and I have my life planned.

About her - Her parents died, been treated like shit all her life, by multiple guys, and doesn't keep really get along with alot of her family members. She dropped out of school for a guy, and she does have a disability where she cant pronounce words properly but IDK I like her anyways.

My situation is I am a nice guy and shes a nice girl, she has been treated like dirt for almost her entire life, so she says and she decided she wanted to meet me because I am cute, and the first time we actually talked she said that there could be a connection, that I like you because I can see you have a good personality in your eyes. She wants to takes things slow because of her last relationship and how long it lasted. She also got treated like shit.

What I dont understand is how she cant accept me for who I am when I have accepted her for everything she is. Shes not used to me being too nice. She said shes trying to get used to it but I feel like because I am nice I am am turning her off.

She keeps playing with my head because I really want this girl. I ask her why she keeps talking to me if she does not like me being nice, she says because I am sweet. I don't know why I like girls like her, keep me chasing. Is it the adrenaline rush or the thrill of chasing her? She is nice to me but have a opposite personality.

Shes changing me alot, and if she wants me to be more controlling I might be because I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy and getting heart broken. Is she stupid for wanting to be treated like shit? am I stupid for chasing after her? Why hasnt she left me yet?

[Cinnabella]

Your introduction really impress me by yourself being up there and herself being Down there lol. R you sure that she got treated like shit before? I find it very funny now if a guy or girl would claim themself being the victim in all of their relationships! It's just not Right. My last .. oh well ex claimed himself being cheated on all the time, which I found out from his ex wife that he cheated on her.

[pisces25]

She is only ever used to be treating like shit and that is a comfort to her. She identifies with it. It has nothing to do with you. You'd be a fool to turn into someone more controlling. She has low self-esteem and being treated like shit makes her feel good coz when you do treat her like shit she gets a feeling of satisfaction that she is right about being useless. But underneath of course she doesn't want this, she just doesn't know any different. Some counselling would be useful to her. And if you want to stick with her you need to understand her frame of mind and help her through. She seems very damaged. Good luck.

[bigdaddy863]

it seams like she is scared to open up and let you in i wouldent change at all just keep doing what your doing shes just not usto good atention yet but she will just be patient with her

[aznprince1989]

Thank you for your inputs. Sry if I am misspelling words at the moment, thats because I am using my iphone to type right now.

But my heart does ache for her and every time she tells me about her past I feel like I want to love her and change her life even more. I just want her happy. Shes the first girl Ive fallen for since I got out of the military, there have been a few others who wanted to date me but I never had that feeling in my heart to actually date them. Idk this current girl I like just keeps my heart racing, even though shes not ready to let me completel in yet i feel like I am being teased.

I asked her multiple times do you actually like me, and could you see yourself be with me. E erytime she says yes, and I do like you alot. Also everytime I hold her I see her smile, and after she tells me shes going to open up alot more but then she tell me its wierd, that she dont deserve it. I know Im going to wait but I just wanted to talk about it. She dont think I can be rough but she dont understand why I want to be with someone who is stubborn and crazy.

Has she not left me yet because of the attention I give her when I keep chasing her too? Because it sucks lol

[aznprince1989]

Lol should I stop chasing her so much? Like do you guys think i should tease her by not chasing her as much, do you think she will start chasing after me and then so on and so forth. Idk wtf she wants from me. Shes nit using me for my money because she feels guilty. Wtf!!! Love makes people crazy and I think im crazy lol

[maxmax]

Wtf!!! Love makes people crazy and I think im crazy lol

You're not crazy. You're Michael Khoun.

[loves568]

If you're really as nice to her as you say you are then you're doing the right thing. The one thing that I think is going to make it hard for her to let you in isn't the other guys who mistreated her. The greatest problem is most likely the death of her parents. Losing someone who is that influencial in her life is always going to be a burden. I only lost one parent, and at 13 it broke me. I can't even imagine where I would be if I had lost my dad too. It would have truly destroyed me. She's closed off because she has been hurt. Don't push her to put herself into a place that is completely uncomfortable too fast. Try to get her out of her comfort zone slowly, not all at once. Tell her you care about her and that you want to be with her. Let her know that you will be who she needs and when she's ready you want her to let you be that person. Make her feel like she does deserve you, but don't be shocked or angry if she isn't as receptive as you want.

[aznprince1989]

Hello Everyone,

Here is my current situation. My girlfriend seems to have her guard up higher than usual lately. She sometimes would barely hang out with me. It is really messing with my head, and making me paranoid, but I said I would stick it out no matter what happens. But I almost left her last week, I talked to her and told her if she wanted me to stop chasing her, to be gone. She said no. I also asked does she actually want to be with me, and she said yes and from the sound of her voice it sounded convincing that she does want to be with me. She told me shes trying to figure out herself and that it sucks because she knows I love her but still wants to take things slow. I will for her. I am not using her for sex as much as I love sex lol but you know what I mean. I am at that age where I want to meet a girl whom I will eventually marry and thats what she told me when she first met me. That shes at that age as well.

I am just confused. But ever since I started asking her if she could start hanging out with me more she has, and she seems to like it a lot. I make her smile, and whenever shes having a bad day I make her happy. But I asked her when shes going to let me be her boyfriend, and yet she still says she still has her guard up. She has let her guard down a lot ever since I asked her if she wanted me to stop chasing her.

Her friends, dont understand either and are trying to help me lol. If I am so different, which she says, then why hasn't she accepted me yet. We are going to her aunts house for the fourth of July and going to watch the fireworks and stuff. So hopefully her aunt will like me and things will start getting better. We kiss and stuff, and yesterday we def had fun chasing each other around the park lol.

The only reason I ask is because I been looking online and searching up the topic regarding when girls want to take things slow. I am following my heart but majority of the people here says taking it slow means she just wants to be friends. What do you think?

I am going to stick it out until the end because when I first saw her I knew I wanted to be with her. But hopefully things get better for me and she will eventually let me be her boyfriend.

[MissShrimpy]

I think that due to her history, she is used to being treated like shit, as you would say. Probably meaning she wants someone a bit "hard" and bossy, because thats what she's into (maybe not by choice)

[aznprince1989]

I understand, thank you for your input. Do you believe that can change though? But then again anythings possible.