what on earth is going on here?

[firefly88]

the other day I was sat behind my ex in lectures, and I noticed that when he logged on to fb my fb chat tab was up - but I Haven't spoken to him on this for about 2 months. there were no other tabs there. therefore he must have had this tab up for a long while during study leave/ had it up the night before lectures and left it there.

I found it a bit wierd- as he broke up with me and goes out of his way to avoid/ ignore me, yet that was there- what's going on?
Its been a year now.

If i ever try and talk to him on chat / or in real life he just goes all awkward and tried to run away asap, short answers, unemotive and cold. But he incessantly watches me from across rooms and I see him looking for me in crowds to orient himself to face me, like he always wants to know where I am :\

please someone help me with this- what's going on in his head...

thanks in advance x

[tgoodspe]

Umm.. haha, he sounds like a bit of a stalker right now. It seems obvious that he has some longing feelings for you and that he probably misses you a lot. I don't get why he rushes away when you try to talk to him, what was the reasoning that he broke up with you? And do you still like this guy??

[Wakeup]

As i said in your duplicate post. This means sweet bugger all. In other words NOTHING. You guys broke up over a year ago. Time you stopped wishing and stalking his facebook page and started paying attention to your lecturer instead of what your EX is or isn't doing. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't be avoiding you, he'd be doing the opposite to that.

Move on and quit contacting him and give yourself a chance to actually get over him.

[ColdWorldCoast]

As i said in your duplicate post. This means sweet bugger all. In other words NOTHING. You guys broke up over a year ago. Time you stopped wishing and stalking his facebook page and started paying attention to your lecturer instead of what your EX is or isn't doing. If he wanted to be with you he wouldn't be avoiding you, he'd be doing the opposite to that.

Move on and quit contacting him and give yourself a chance to actually get over him.

Wakeup is prone to handing out extremist advice in the most misunderstanding way possible it would seem: Do you really want advice from a person that constantly and consistently projects their own misery and emotional bias in virtually every post they make, seemingly in the hopes that you'll make the same mistakes?; I wouldn't. (Why are you in the "ask a male forum" anyways?).

As I also stated in your duplicate post, if you feel like there's a possibility that a relationship will work out between you and this man, then I suggest you take the first step in "breaking the ice". However you should take into consideration some minor details; Why did you break up in the first place, why is it that after a year you suddenly feel this way, and will the mistakes you noticed in your previous attempt remain present if a relationship were to "take off" now?.

Furthermore you should gauge what exactly it is you're looking for in a relationship currently, weather it be long lasting commitment, a short term "fling", or a ninja buddy. This is important because what you may be looking for in a relationship may be something he is incapable of upholding at this time: Don't become jaded. Do you know what he's looking for in a relationship, and are you sure it's close to what you desire?. If your individual desires and needs go unquestioned/unnoticed then it's quite probable that you'll end up disappointed; and you'll have wasted a bunch of time and energy that could been better spent elsewhere.

There are plenty of variables to think about, and wakeup is correct in that you shouldn't be wasting time during class hours to think about people or their issues/quirks, you'll have plenty of time to do that afterwords.

[firefly88]

Umm.. haha, he sounds like a bit of a stalker right now. It seems obvious that he has some longing feelings for you and that he probably misses you a lot. I don't get why he rushes away when you try to talk to him, what was the reasoning that he broke up with you? And do you still like this guy??

I'm still no sure of the real reason.. he said he's not sure what happened either, just that he didnt feel he loved me enough anymore, didnt want to be with me, didnt want a relationship because he was to busy witht he new society he'd set up etc etc....
as for the running away - I sent him an email asking to talk, he ignored it, so I sent another short one, he ignored it, and told a friend he felt intimidated by it. though I can assure you it wasnt meant that
way, and I promised him I wasn't going to chase him up about it. Maybe that's why? though even before I asked to talk he was avoiding me.
As for feelings.... I dont know :\ I have a new boyfriend, but my ex's behavior is around me consatantly, so I still notice it even if I dont want to... and it bothers me!
opinio0ns?

[Wakeup]

I sent him an email asking to talk, he ignored it, so I sent another short one, he ignored it, and told a friend he felt intimidated by it. though I can assure you it wasnt meant that

Yea, listen to coldwarcoast and keep chasing this man when you could be out socializing and finding someone who actually wants to be with you. * Which you have done by your new post in your other thread. He's no longer your responsibility OP. Leave him alone.

There is nothing Extreme about advice ithat is obviously needed to be given. When people actually take straight forward suggestions, when they have that lightbulb go off... they are more times than not, quite happy they didn't disregard what they read. I like to fast track to the heart of the matter.

Frankly: I've never seen a forum so ready to have people prolong their misery and tell people what they want to hear while ignoring the clues in the OP that things are done and they need to move on.

*

Wakeup is prone to handing out extremist advice in the most misunderstanding way possible it would seem:

Seems its you that totally misunderstood this thread, bright eyes. Op is in another relationship and just wants to "console" the dude in case he's hurting. That's not her job and he's avoiding her so where did you get she should chase after him and let him know how she feels?

[Wakeup]

*crickets*