Blocked on Facebook finally, but it feels like square one...

[thevsilent]

Ok, I posted my long story of a break up in here before. It has been a little over a month since she has cut all ties with me. I was a asshole to her, tried and pleaded my case but of course I got nothing. So I started NC, but two weeks ago I cracked, I messeged her on Facebook and told her that I was sorry, etc and told her I didn't have the nerve to block her, but if she wanted to block me she could. Well I guess she didn't and I took this as a *little* bit of hope that maybe she would read my words and not respond. So fast forward to today, I messeged her and asked her if I was holding on to nothing or if there was still hope that maybe one day we could talk, and 10 minutes later I was blocked. Now I know, I know what this means, it just hurts so bad to know after 5 years, and all the mistakes I made, I will have to live with the fact that she just has no feelings for me anymore.

It just makes me go back to square one all over again, and I feel like she just broke up with me yesterday. I dream about her all the time, I don't have drive to do anything and always just want to sleep now, I wish I would have never contacted her now just so I didn't feel this way. I don't know how NC heals people, it is killing me.

[Cerby]

No contact heals through indifference, you lose touch, fall away from each other, and then start to move on because that other person is simply absent. It works.

The thing with NC is, its also a battle with yourself, if you know you're going to contact her later or cave in, then it doesn't matter. You need to accept from the beginning of NC that you may never hear from her again, and also that that will have to be alright.

I'm 6 days now with NC from my ex, haven't spoken since we broke up. I DO NOT want to seem desperate, so this is my motivation. Everything I wanted to drop off for her I put in her work locker with a small "sorry it ended this way" note so I wouldn't have to see her nor talk to her about it. Other than that I've almost dialed her a couple of times, and am hurting like hell, but getting through it. I expect by day 14 I'll be way way better off, and by day 30 I'll be over it.

You need to be strong to do NC.

EDIT** From what I've also read and see on these forums, it seems to be the best way to get someone back too. Your silence make them curious. But that said, don't ever hope on that, just assume NC means its over for you both.

[Cerby]

If you want to talk to someone going through the same, IM me, I'm still in my first week and can tell you some of the things I've done to avoid contact and how to work through it in your head.

[McRich01]

Ok, I posted my long story of a break up in here before. It has been a little over a month since she has cut all ties with me. I was a asshole to her, tried and pleaded my case but of course I got nothing. So I started NC, but two weeks ago I cracked, I messeged her on Facebook and told her that I was sorry, etc and told her I didn't have the nerve to block her, but if she wanted to block me she could. Well I guess she didn't and I took this as a *little* bit of hope that maybe she would read my words and not respond. So fast forward to today, I messeged her and asked her if I was holding on to nothing or if there was still hope that maybe one day we could talk, and 10 minutes later I was blocked. Now I know, I know what this means, it just hurts so bad to know after 5 years, and all the mistakes I made, I will have to live with the fact that she just has no feelings for me anymore.

It just makes me go back to square one all over again, and I feel like she just broke up with me yesterday. I dream about her all the time, I don't have drive to do anything and always just want to sleep now, I wish I would have never contacted her now just so I didn't feel this way. I don't know how NC heals people, it is killing me.

I'm with you on this one ! Everyone makes mistakes in a relationship, No point blaming your self though !

Chin up ! No contact is the best way forward, It may feel like you will never recover, But trust me, You will get over it ! No contact gives your mind and soul time to recover, It also gives you time to find yourself again and find who you are.

Even if she does try coming back in a months time, Then you'll have the strength to say no, And not to contact her.

Best of luck !

[thevsilent]

I'm with you on this one ! Everyone makes mistakes in a relationship, No point blaming your self though !

Chin up ! No contact is the best way forward, It may feel like you will never recover, But trust me, You will get over it ! No contact gives your mind and soul time to recover, It also gives you time to find yourself again and find who you are.

Even if she does try coming back in a months time, Then you'll have the strength to say no, And not to contact her.

Best of luck !

Oh, I wish she would try and contact me in some months, but she point blank is showing me I'm worthless to her.

[jnr1005]

Trust me, I understand how your feeling. My ex did this to me this last weekend. I think one of the things that really hurt when he did this is that I have 2 kids he was like a father to, and by doing this he is also saying he has no desire to see what they have been up to. Both of them are hurting really bad b/c they don't understand why he left. (We had talked about him adopting them, buying a house, ect..) The FB "blocked" feels even worse then just "defriended". I just need to accept it is over and help them get through it.

[flynhayn]

No contact heals through indifference, you lose touch, fall away from each other, and then start to move on because that other person is simply absent. It works.

The thing with NC is, its also a battle with yourself, if you know you're going to contact her later or cave in, then it doesn't matter. You need to accept from the beginning of NC that you may never hear from her again, and also that that will have to be alright.

I'm 6 days now with NC from my ex, haven't spoken since we broke up. I DO NOT want to seem desperate, so this is my motivation. Everything I wanted to drop off for her I put in her work locker with a small "sorry it ended this way" note so I wouldn't have to see her nor talk to her about it. Other than that I've almost dialed her a couple of times, and am hurting like hell, but getting through it. I expect by day 14 I'll be way way better off, and by day 30 I'll be over it.

You need to be strong to do NC.

EDIT** From what I've also read and see on these forums, it seems to be the best way to get someone back too. Your silence make them curious. But that said, don't ever hope on that, just assume NC means its over for you both.

Well effing said.

[thevsilent]

It is over 30 days and I never got closure, I never got to talk about why this is happening, just that I made mistakes and she cut me off, this blocking me on Facebook has truely gutted me, I just don't understand how she could be so cold.

[DarkHelmet82]

It is over 30 days and I never got closure, I never got to talk about why this is happening, just that I made mistakes and she cut me off, this blocking me on Facebook has truely gutted me, I just don't understand how she could be so cold.

Yeah i tried to get closure and instead got the opposite... "i still feel the same as I did a month ago, Im just not ready for a relationship yet." THERE IS NO CLOSURE! dont tortue yourself.

[thevsilent]

Yeah i tried to get closure and instead got the opposite... "i still feel the same as I did a month ago, Im just not ready for a relationship yet." THERE IS NO CLOSURE! dont tortue yourself.

At least you got that, when I say cut off I mean nothing since she broke up with me, at all. I think I hurt her too much during the relationship and this is her way of getting over the pain, but I never got a second chance. Jesus I just wish I could get over it! I feel like I will never love or be loved again.

[DarkHelmet82]

what did i get? more crap that puts me in a permenant limbo state. You can try writing a letter as a form of closure. Im just telling you from experience.. sometiems things are better not knowing, cause trying to figure things out will just make it worse.

[DannyH]

Honestly better off with her blocking you. My ex of 6 years I had been talking to for the past 5 months until this weekend she had her profile set to friends of friends so I could see what she was doing. Between talking with her and being an idiot and creeping her page was driving me insane with curiousity. You feel down and out and get a small bit of what she is doing then your mind fills in the blanks. It's only been 2 days since I've been doing NC and yeah its been hard but it's working. Now that I think about it if I did this months ago I would of been way better off.

[thevsilent]

Yep, but I'm just shocked still. I just can't believe she will never talk to me ever again after going through so much together, it literally kills me. Everyone keeps telling me that one day she will crack and talk to me, but I don't believe it, what kind of person tells you that you aren't "The One" blocks you from facebook and ignores you? Doesn't sound like one that will ever reach out and care what I feel like ever again. I did horrible things in our relationship, and she had her fair share of things too, but at the end of the day we promised to never give up, and I don't get where she got this new found backbone, and sense of just not wanting me to be there anymore. I keep thinking this is all a bad dream and I will wake up!

[that one guy]

Yep, but I'm just shocked still. I just can't believe she will never talk to me ever again after going through so much together, it literally kills me. Everyone keeps telling me that one day she will crack and talk to me, but I don't believe it, what kind of person tells you that you aren't "The One" blocks you from facebook and ignores you? Doesn't sound like one that will ever reach out and care what I feel like ever again. I did horrible things in our relationship, and she had her fair share of things too, but at the end of the day we promised to never give up, and I don't get where she got this new found backbone, and sense of just not wanting me to be there anymore. I keep thinking this is all a bad dream and I will wake up!

As many of us can attest to, Facebook is the root of all evils in the scenario of a break-up. Seriously, that sh*t will, literally, f*ck your whole day/week/month/year up if you continue to dwell and everything on it. My ex has her page completely open regardless if your friends with her or not. Actually, both of my serious relationships exes are the same in terms of Facebook privacy. It has led to many creeping and nights of tears, anguish and heartbreak. I can't stress this enough: Delete your ex or ask them to delete you. Install a site blocker (I installed a free site blocker add-on via Firefox) and block their profile. I even password protected the settings; just hit the keyboard and accepted the password without even knowing it. That way, if I do get tempted, I'll have to jump through hoops to, either, uninstall the add-on or figure out the password. If I didn't keep in contact with a lot of people via Facebook, I'd delete my account in a second. It has only caused me trouble and more pain. I'm on day 8 of no-contact and I'm pretty... meh. No idea. I still think about her which leads to me thinking about things I shouldn't think about and, thus, getting depressed. The only problem I'm going to have with this NC idea is her birthday. It's in about 3-4 weeks and I don't know how I should approach this. I don't have her number anymore so I can't text her so I'd have to resort going into her Facebook profile and sending her a private message. Ugh, I really don't want to have to do that and see all the status updates and/or pictures of her and her new boyfriend. No thanks but I do care about her and I want to wish her a happy birthday. I don't know... Sorry to hijack your thread but I know the feeling about Facebook. Gah!

[DannyH]

I feel you on that whole bad dream thng.

lol that is exactly what I did to my facebook smashed buttons for password accepted then deleted. After I told everybody I actually talked to I was deleting my facebook. Once I am over my ex and I'll make a new one and start all over.