number of times he had sex

[MerryH]

I have to disagree with all the people saying that she shouldn't have asked. It's not always an unreasonable question. I would want to know if the person I was getting involved with has had 200+ partners or 0 partners. That would indicate to me that we are not compatible. I would not care to know exact numbers or exact details, but I don't think it's a terrible question to ask, if you can handle the answer and act appropriately (i.e. break up if you don't like the answer.)

It's not okay to lie. There's really no need to. And the lie is even more offensive when the liar thinks you're too stupid to catch a blatant lie, like the OP's boyfriend.

[surfhb]

Silly? I think retarded is a more appropriate word! The fact he's 37 and has slept with 1 women should make you run like hell

[Wakeup]

I would want to know if the person I was getting involved with has had 200+ partners or 0 partners.

I'd want to know that as well... but, not if he's HAD sex or not. Her question was: "Have you ever had sex." Unless she was asking because he was so inept at the "fooling around" there is no reason, IMO to ask such a question. It would be very offending even if he had or he hadn't.

[devonbrown]

At this point, the question has been asked by her and the answers have been given by him. So they weren't 100% honest. I agree with Wakup in that I can see why he didn't really want to answer the question honestly.

At this point though, stop asking the question and he will stop lying about it. If there is any other reason you don't trust him, then deal with that. But this seems like it could really be a case where he was lying specifically about this question and that's all.

Good luck.

[Riku]

Wow I must be a slut, if anyone ever asked me if I've ever "HAD" sex I'd laugh my ass off and I'm 30. I would assume that anyone who is 37 years old has had sex unless they were a really weird creepy person. The fact that you asked it makes me question your maturity level. And what does that mean that you are turned on by experienced guys yet you are a virgin? Seriously how old are you, this is all very adolescent in my opinion.

[shymaira]

thanks everyone for your inputs...

I hope devon is right here, about him lying about this specific issue only. I hope that's the case. This guy keeps telling me over and over again he wants something more than a physical relationship, and is refusing to have sex until I learn to trust him.

It interests me that so many of you assume that having sex is a definite occurance given a certain age! Its possible in your life and upbringing that sex is normal given past a certain age. But in many other cultures, without sounding disrespectful, its normal to put off sex until after marriage, and in the meantime fool around only...may be give hand jobs and oral. Anyway, like i said so many times before, i wasn't asking him IF he had sex simply because i really thought he hadn't, but rather i was expecting the answer to be "yes ", and then we would venture into other sex topics like what he likes and doesn't, etc. but his lie sort of caught me off guard.

[HeartIsAching]

thanks everyone for your inputs...

I hope devon is right here, about him lying about this specific issue only. I hope that's the case. This guy keeps telling me over and over again he wants something more than a physical relationship, and is refusing to have sex until I learn to trust him.

It interests me that so many of you assume that having sex is a definite occurance given a certain age! Its possible in your life and upbringing that sex is normal given past a certain age. But in many other cultures, without sounding disrespectful, its normal to put off sex until after marriage, and in the meantime fool around only...may be give hand jobs and oral. Anyway, like i said so many times before, i wasn't asking him IF he had sex simply because i really thought he hadn't, but rather i was expecting the answer to be "yes ", and then we would venture into other sex topics like what he likes and doesn't, etc. but his lie sort of caught me off guard.

In Canada?!

[shymaira]

yes, in Canada! Canada is quite multicultural now....and cultural differences can still have a strong influence.

[VincenzoG91]

Wow I must be a slut, if anyone ever asked me if I've ever "HAD" sex I'd laugh my ass off and I'm 30. I would assume that anyone who is 37 years old has had sex unless they were a really weird creepy person. The fact that you asked it makes me question your maturity level. And what does that mean that you are turned on by experienced guys yet you are a virgin? Seriously how old are you, this is all very adolescent in my opinion.

Yeah, if someone had asked me if I had ever had sex, when I was 37, I would have been insulted. My response would have been, "yeah, ask your mother for the details, a-hole." What a b-s question.

Going off on a tangent, I really don't understand why some guys are so obsessed with virgins. I don't wanna have sex with some clueless chick who is going to just lay there passively and bleed, I want a partner who has some experience and also enthusiasm for sex.

[Riku]

Please get off your high horse, giving head and hand jobs isn't exactly saving yourself for marriage. Just because a penis hasn't penetrated your vagina doesn't mean you are "pure".

[Wakeup]

thanks everyone for your inputs...

I hope devon is right here, about him lying about this specific issue only. I hope that's the case. This guy keeps telling me over and over again he wants something more than a physical relationship, and is refusing to have sex until I learn to trust him.

It interests me that so many of you assume that having sex is a definite occurance given a certain age! Its possible in your life and upbringing that sex is normal given past a certain age. But in many other cultures, without sounding disrespectful, its normal to put off sex until after marriage, and in the meantime fool around only...may be give hand jobs and oral. Anyway, like i said so many times before, i wasn't asking him IF he had sex simply because i really thought he hadn't, but rather i was expecting the answer to be "yes ", and then we would venture into other sex topics like what he likes and doesn't, etc. but his lie sort of caught me off guard.

So by the time someone has been arranged to be married they could very well have had several different dicks in their mouths and one arm quite a lot more muscular than the other... Charming.

Your question of "have you had sex" is more understood now with that explaination however; I wonder why your question wasn't have you eaten out many women while his response was how many men have you blown?

[shymaira]

actually i don't consider myself pure...but i haven't given anyone handjobs, or blowjobs, or received any....

[kageri]

I can name a lot of 30-40year old virgins that aren't even that way for cultural reasons. They just got handed crappy luck for life and don't have the social skills to meet women. Dated a few of them in the lower range since I didn't really want to try dating guys more than 10 years older than me. It doesn't seem like we'd have much in common or be at the same places in our lives so I put my cut off there. It seems a very valid question to me.

[shymaira]

thanks again everyone for your inputs...its very interesting to see your different answers. i still don't think a question like "have you had sex before" is invalid...for those of you who assume that asking such a question is invalid because everyone else out there is just as sexually active as you are, i think you need to really not be so close-minded and realize that not everyone is in the same boat. well thanks anyway for voicing your opinions..

[Riku]

I'm not close minded at all, I just think you are a liar and a hypocrite to be perfectly honest.

its normal to put off sex until after marriage, and in the meantime fool around only...may be give hand jobs and oral.

actually i don't consider myself pure...but i haven't given anyone handjobs, or blowjobs, or received any....

i feel like such a slut too, cause i like fooling around with him

Yeah....ok.......