Really need some advice...

[bubbles1]

My boyfriend and I had been in a relationship for 5 years. He is a really really sexual person, and likes to do everything....for the years we were together, I was very self conscious, had not had a good experience sexually before him...and found it hard to be daring and intimate with him. He broke up with me at the end of April, we've broken up a few times before but always got back together - but everytime its the same reason: I'm not sexual enough, i don't show passion and desire andd I don't make him feel like I love him. Because of this missing part, we used to argue a lot...I think it was because we were both unsatisfied with our sexlife.

Since breaking up this time, I've gone through a lot of changes - I've lost a lot of weight, I feel so much more confident and I've been really thrown out of my comfort zone at work. I just feel a lot more mature and like I want to live life to the full now. I've tried talking to him about it but he thinks he's given me so many chances now, whats the point. I was driving home late last night from a party, and txtd him asking if he wanted to have some fun...so we met and had a lot of naughty fun in a local park (at like midnight). When he saw me he gave me a big hug, then after we had sex he gave me another big hug, and we sat and chatted for a while...then walking back to the car he said how this didnt mean he wants to be in a relationship with me again. He thinks I am too emotional and cause too many arguments, but I really believe it was my insecurities.

I want to do the naughty things with him again, but with the aim of being with him in a relationship again in the future...but do you tihnk that will ever happen? Am I just letting him use me? Or am I using him?

[bulrush]

I'm glad you are more self-confident now, but I think his past experiences with you told him who you were, and he still believes you are insecure, and thus, incompatible with him.

I guess I have a good viewpoint because I am also very sexual. So, it is a VERY big deal if my girlfriend is not on the same page as me. I can make some compromises, but there are limits to the number of things I can omit from my sex life. I'm like an adventurer who has to explore new things. I can't wait around for someone to change, I need to find that special person now. This can cause me problems because some girls assume (never assume!) that all I want is sex. Well, it's not true, but I do have a lot of sex. I love sex because I love the intimacy, and I want intimacy with one person, and when I'm intimate with one person, I like sex even more...and...you see where this is going?

So, no I don't think it is likely he will get back with you. Unless you prove you are more secure on a long-term basis. He may also have found someone else, or simply doesn't want a commitment right now. I don't want you to feel bad, perhaps you should look for someone else also.

Feel free to PM me if you wish. Sorry I rambled.

[bubbles1]

Hey

Thank you so much for replying.I can't PM as I am a new user...


I think he is finding it really hard to believe that I can have changed that much after so many times asking him for a chance...but I really do feel like I just want to try new things now and have fun - how do you know if you don't enjoy something if you don't try it, right?

So perhaps if I keep up just the sex side of things with him, have fun and exploring, he might realise? Maybe if we met up as just friends too occasionally...show him I am still the same person, just adventurous...I just want to make him happy

[bubbles1]

Oh and I am pretty certain he hasn't met somebody else...