Girls: Should I push the issue?

[desy1978]

There's a new girl at work who I like and have gone cycling with a couple of times after inviting her to do so. I'd like to be alone with her to get to know her better but she insists on inviting another man along who's also new at work ( I work fairly closely with them both for about 2 months now). I'm pretty sure she's single and it doesn't look like she's interested in the other work colleague who cycles with us who is also a bit of a mate of mine now. I don't think he's interested in her either but I could be wrong. He is very much older than myself and her and doesn't get out much as he's divorced so I think that's maybe why she invites him too.

Anyway. Tonight the three of us went cycling and he had a blow out far from home which I was unable to fix so I had the pleasure of cycling back home with her having promised to come back in my car for him. I asked her what music she liked and if she'd like to go to a gig or to see a film or something some time. She said yes but about 10 mins later suggested we did it in a couple of weeks time as a work outing inviting everyone. I said that would be fun but was kind of hoping it would be just the two of us if she was keen. She said yes again then got all embarrassed and talked very quickly (god knows what she was saying). We chatted for a min and then went our separate ways and I went back in my car for my other friend. She then texts me saying 'thanks, hope you find him ok'.

I'm wondering if I was unclear in my date invitation or if she was side stepping it? Maybe she wanted me to spell it out so she could be sure? Was she texting 'thanks' for the cycle or for me asking her out on a proper date? Does it sound like she's not keen? Maybe she needs some space? I don't want to pester her and piss her off but at the same time I think we have the hots for each other.

[pisces25]

If she keeps suggesting others coming along it sounds to me she doesn't want to be alone with you. IMO if I was keen on a guy and he asked me out to see a gig or film I would JUMP at the chance. The fact she immediately responded saying others should come is a sign she doesn't want a date. Then again, she could be shy or nervous. Or maybe just got out of a LTR and doesn't want to go into another one? Maybe approach her with details of the date you have planned and see what she says?

[MerryH]

So...she said yes, right? Make specific plans and invite her, then. If she tries to bring other people again, cancel the plans and forget about dating her.

And a tip for the future: When asking girls out, don't say "Want to do something sometime?" Say, "Would you like to go with me to [specific place] on [specific day]?"

[bulrush]

So...she said yes, right? Make specific plans and invite her, then. If she tries to bring other people again, cancel the plans and forget about dating her.

I agree with MerryH. She needs to decide that a date is with 2 people, not 3. If she can't decide and get her life together, time for you to move on.

Also, if something is unclear to you, just ask her. Send her an email or text or phone her. But it sounds like your question was clear. You were asking her out, not her and a friend. When I ask a girl out, I use the word "date" just so it's clear. "Do you want to go to the movies on a date?"

[desy1978]

Yeah I don't know what to think about it really. I'm feeling that was her polite way of saying 'no' and that it's not what she wants at the moment although that's not the impression I get when we're together. We've not known each other that long but I haven't wanted to hang about as I thought of all the other guys that might be after her. She say's she's not really been doing much in her spare time and I don't get the impression she's been dating at all. It's maybe tricky for her as she might see me as a boss at work although technically I'm not and don't have to boss her at all. She also said she's applying for jobs as she finishes with us in 4 months so that's also a factor. She's done a lot of travelling so might have that in mind too.

I think you guys are right. I need to ask her out on a date when we're both available giving her plenty of notice then I'll have my answer.

[DarkHelmet82]

Just keep it casual.. coffee or something like that where you can talk

[deepika_16]

Take things easy and move it smooth. As you are so close to her these days, you have to be care full about her feelings and try to make her feel what you really feel for her. It doesn't an issue that she invites others as well. Girls are so complicated to understand yet.

Actually they want to see your reaction in most cases. You are the right person just put this in your mind and you will definitely be with her. She will be only your's, if you can make her feel so. Study her every activities and do the needful. Wish you all the best for your[URL="http://www.myboyisanidiot.com"] relationship[/URL].