Why would he do this?

[JadenMia]

I was seeing a guy a couple of months back. I really liked him and felt like it could have gotten more serious.. After seeing each other alot through the week and it had been a few week i slept with him. It was great sex but i felt it could have been too soon and i kind of regretted it.
It still went on for a few more weeks and i felt like we got alot more closer and were having more fun. He seemed pretty serious, he introduced me to his family, his friends. Asked me out all the time and always initiated contact. I thought everything was good, until he went away one weekend camping with his friends. I heard from him while he was away which i didnt expect. Everything just seemed okay.
He came back on the sunday. He didnt ask me to meet him so i just left it. Then he said he felt like there was something we needed to talk about as we didnt speak for 2 days.
He said he felt like he was doing all the work with us, which i could admit, i didnt want to come on too strong so i held back a little. After we had spoke i felt we were okay again, so i decided to initiate calling him and asking him out. He said he wasnt sure what he was doing and would let me know. lol

That was it for me, i felt like this early on and this much mis-communication wasnt good so i stopped calling and so did he. I was very hurt by it..
Fast forward 2 months, i am unavailable and he decides to start texting me. I ignore him for the most part, until one night i saw him out. I was just leaving but i said a quick hello and left and he text me right away telling me how i beautiful i looked.
He then tells me he is going away to work for 3 weeks but would really like to speak to me when he is back home. That isnt yet, but he has been texting me while he is away asking if he can see me when he is home again.
I just said im not sure.

First off, i dont understand what happened to us that he went cold on me with no explanation. Now he wants to see me again? What could be the reason for this? I am thinking for the sex.. Which i will not allow, i i dont even know if i want to talk to him in person again.. But i wish i could get whats going on in his head.

Can any guys please try give me some insight on this ? Thankyou!

[HeartIsAching]

Its sounds like passive-aggressive behavior. He told you that he felt like he was doing all the work, and you made ONE effort and gave up. He probably figured you weren't all that interested after all, if he wasn't worth the effort.

[pisces25]

Since you have made a commitment to work things out with your ex (per your other post) don't even worry about this guy. Tell him you are back with your ex and he will go away.

[JadenMia]

Thanks for the feedback. I definitely didnt make just the one effort, i felt like he was exagerating a little when he said that. Ah, i just wanted to know what the heck is up with men sometimes. And they say we dont know what we want!
I am not too worried about it, i definitely have all my heart put into my relationship to see if this will work. Hopefully. I just wanted to see if anyone could tell me what his deal was. Thanks for the advice!

[pisces25]

He wants what he can't have hun. He knows he can't have you but he will try anyway coz if he does get you it shows he is king and he feels good about himself.

[JadenMia]

Yep, i agree. Probably just wants to check he can still get me, well tough luck. He had his chance and lost it.

[HeartIsAching]

Thanks for the feedback. I definitely didnt make just the one effort, i felt like he was exagerating a little when he said that. Ah, i just wanted to know what the heck is up with men sometimes. And they say we dont know what we want!
I am not too worried about it, i definitely have all my heart put into my relationship to see if this will work. Hopefully. I just wanted to see if anyone could tell me what his deal was. Thanks for the advice!

Change "men" to "Game Players" and you'll be closer to the truth. Men and women both indulge in this behavior, and it's childish. If you say what you want, if you're clear in your communications, life is much easier, and your love life is much more fulfilling.

Read "Horton Hears a Who" sometime.

[MaidenMinx]

LOL!!! I never thought I would see the day when a Dr Suess book would be a recommendation in a relationship forum! Great book though.

[JadenMia]

I agree, a long time ago i decided to just be totally straight up with every man i meet. I think it might be a little too much for some men. Im thinking it might have scared this one off.. as i was super open about how i liked him. lol Ah well.
I have never read the book, maybe i should give it a read thanks.

[VincenzoG91]

I'm confused. How is that you got in trouble with your boyfriend over an innocent text from a co-worker (different thread), but not over these text messages with your ex? And why is there so much turmoil in your personal life? Are you afraid to be alone for a while?

[JadenMia]

I'm confused. How is that you got in trouble with your boyfriend over an innocent text from a co-worker (different thread), but not over these text messages with your ex? And why is there so much turmoil in your personal life? Are you afraid to be alone for a while?

He doesnt go through my phone all the time.. he saw a text from my friend because we were in bed sleepin and my phone dinged. Its a rule that we allow a personal life, but i guess curiosity got the better of him while i was sleeping. I told him about these certain texts and showed him my replies and wasnt bothered about it.. As i said i didnt want to see him etc..
I probably am afraid to be alone... yeah. I would like things to work out with my partner.. Its hard when he is like he is. I am trying to hang onto him and think positively about us.. But if we were to split, i wouldnt mind being alone. Hard but i could deal with it.