I don't Understand What Women Want

[kageri]

No I did not read completely to the end because it's 1 am here so I read half way and skimmed your questions. I think partially you are just attracting the wrong girls because of your first impression not matching your full personality very well. There's not a whole lot you can do to stop this and all I can suggest is to keeping waiting for the right girl to come along. You are still very young and women are going to mature and understand more what they want as you get older as well. With experience some will learn to judge your personality better so your odds only go up the older you get.

The 2nd problem I'm seeing is that maybe you are being a little too much of a push over when claiming to be yourself. If you don't like a movie say you don't like it and why and then say you are still willing to watch it since they are interested in it. If you don't like a food say you don't like it but you'll eat it sometimes since she does like it. Most girls and the ones you probably want a relationship with don't want you to happily follow along keeping your opinion to yourself. They want you to state your opinion but then you get points if you go ahead and do what they want sometimes anyway. Not all the time or it gets annoying. You have to occasionally say no I'm tired of that I want to do/eat this. From experience agreeable slaves are boring and I lose interest in them quickly. You can be a nice guy while still having an opinion and contributing to plans being made.

Girls are subtle and guys are clueless. It's a fact of life. Girls drop hints and guys fail to pick them up majority of the time. Number one suggestion I have for girls that are having trouble communicating with guys is stop using hints and just state everything you feel and want in simple statements. It's the only way guys understand. Especially when it comes to starting and ending relationships. Some guys you just want to whack alongside the head cause no matter how many opportunities and flirtatious comments you make they still don't realize you are interested. Then you end up with his best friend who you aren't as attracted to because he was too clueless to realize you were interested in him. Then you have to break up with said best friend who you were never that attracted to in the first place but after months of trying to drop hints and let him down easy he still has no clue so finally you get the guy you've been talking to and would like to date to tell the other guy it's over because apparently they can only understand guy language and girl language is too subtle. Yes that is a real situation. I can name another 2 dozen similar ones.

[CAM]

My mother regularly tells me that I'm becoming more like my father. A huge compliment, because I've always thought of him as THE manliest man I've met.

I found myself comforting my gf while she was crying the other day. I found that I wasn't doing it like I used with former gf's. Their tears would frighten me and I would want to alleviate their pain. In the most recent example, however, I just put my arm around her gently and kept my mouth shut. I remembered that it was something I used to see my father do with my mother. Sometimes, being manly is being there. Be the tree. Be as hard as the rock wall of the fortress that provides shelter, but as cool as the slice of honeyed ripe melon that touches her lips and feeds her soul on life's journey through the desert.

[funkmasta]

I was pretty wrong to come on this forum for advice from people who probably know as much if not less than me.

And I am far from Hyper. I am a very mellow dude. But I am very passionate.

You ask me for advice, you tell me a story, you have some small talk with me I am VERY mellow.

BUT if I am engaged in something I am passionate about like quantum physics, metaphysics, or right and wrong... You bet your ass im passionate as hell.

There are two kinds of people in this world those who are passionate and stick to their beliefs and then those who believe what is easiest

[CAM]

Well, I guess you won't love us forever. You won't even, to paraphrase Full Metal Jacket, "love us long time."

Seriously, you are afraid of losing a "hot" girl. That's another thing that is manly...namely, being not afraid of losing something or someone....be a fisherman...have the courage to seek and the ability to know that not all can be caught. It is caught when it wishes to be. It took me this long (I'm 95 years old...mentally) to realize that fact.

[funkmasta]

YARG! AGAIN?! how do people not understand this.

OK... ill break it down

There is a HUGE difference between an "agreeable slave" and being easy going.

I REALLY DO NOT GIVE A **** MOST OF THE TIME

trust me if I do people know it. I am not one to back down from be beliefs. And i mean I would die defending them.

HOWEVER...She cooks me something, am I gonna say "this was pretty ****ing gross" or am I gonna say "I love how well this all goes together"

I would say the second one. If that makes me less of a man ok. But the way I look at it, the one who is less of a man is the one who puts his taste buds over his womans hard work to make HIM a meal. So many sorry asses think they are men because they "are hardcore" or "good fighters". This makes no sense to me because I have been in boxing and muay thai for a looong time and grew up where there were drive by shooting quite often.

But I almost never discuss that because I don't think its cool to be "badass"

What I think is cool is expressing what you think and feel, connecting with others, and understanding the universe and this reality we live in. When you die I can promise you will not be thinking "wow I want a man to puff his chest out, punch that guy in the face, proceed to chug 4 beers. No you will be wanting a man who can hold your hand, look into your eyes, tell you he loves you with his soul and is so kind or enlightened that in some way somehow, in ways we could never imagine, you still will be together.

Dont be distracted by the superficial. Just think for a moment what you read when you die. Because you are writing your story every day

[funkmasta]

OMFG do you not get it???

The problem is not that I;m not manly. I am plenty manly. I have been through shit you could not possibly imagine. The first person I saw die was stabbed to death in front of me when I was 4. I saw my buddy get shot point blank in the head with a shotgun. Yet I continue on without hating the world or thinking people are bad. If thats not ****ing manly I don't know what is.

The problem is that "men" in our culture are not allowed to display emotion without appearing weak. This is not logical because everyone has emotion aside from sociopaths so you are suppressing you. Thats not right.

Our culture taught us that a "man" is a sociopath. In fact a lot of successful business men and "players" have been proven to be sociopaths.

Go see other cultures and you will understand what I mean

[funkmasta]

Well, I guess you won't love us forever. You won't even, to paraphrase Full Metal Jacket, "love us long time."

Seriously, you are afraid of losing a "hot" girl. That's another thing that is manly...namely, being not afraid of losing something or someone....be a fisherman...have the courage to seek and the ability to know that not all can be caught. It is caught when it wishes to be. It took me this long (I'm 95 years old...mentally) to realize that fact.

Lol, this is funny. So many people are so illogical. I mean really, think about what you say before you say it. Can you not see the contradictions? I will help you out my brainwashed friend.

Being afraid to lose someone is pretty ****ing manly.Why? well think about how little sense you make for a second.
sigh... i really dont get how people can be so ignorant

If it is not manly to be afraid to lose a girl then it is manly to not be afraid to lose a girl right?

Women want manly men right? We good so far?

Ok so that means women want men who are not afraid to lose them right? ok so far everything makes works.

If you like someone they are in some way better then someone else because otherwise you would like everyone equally right?

Every person is afraid to lose things that are more desirable than others and harder to come by right?

So what this means is you are saying is being manly means not liking let alone loving. So all women should end up with men who don't give a **** if they lose them or not.

You make no sense man. I'm sorry I had to point out your lack of logic but it was for the best.

You are in no way 95 mentally ROFL. Mabye senile

[CAM]

Okay, I'll be leaving now.... goodnight

[funkmasta]

And cam, if you were paying attention I said hott second. The main thing I care about it personality. I havent been with a girl just for her looks in like 2 years

[DannyH]

good god your me when I was 19. Down to the best friend with the shotgun. Seriously all you need to do is act how you are with your friends when your with the girls. Not even alot either just a little bit. When your with your friends your fun but when your with women your in nice guy mode and that tends to be boring and predictable,.

[funkmasta]

good god your me when I was 19. Down to the best friend with the shotgun. Seriously all you need to do is act how you are with your friends when your with the girls. Not even alot either just a little bit. When your with your friends your fun but when your with women your in nice guy mode and that tends to be boring and predictable,.

Good insight my man. You are very right. Thank you. Luckily with the girl im with now I feel very comfortable being just like I am with my friends. Well almost haha. But you know what I mean.

Again thanks, that opened my eyes to something important

[mammadon]

Funkmasta, I would like to help you, but each time you post you just confuse me more.

What CAM said is on point. Women like manly men. Men can be poetic/gentle/romantic and still be manly... but there is a lot of potential for men with those traits to come off as UNmanly.

I think you just need to relax, to be honest. From your post, you seem anxious or hyper or something... I think if you stop trying so hard, you'll be just fine.

If the girls you're getting are girls who just want to have sex, you might think about re-assessing the kind of girls you're picking.

That is just some BS pop culture stereotype.

[CAM]

That is just some BS pop culture stereotype.

So, you "know" more about what women want that the woman who affirmed by comments? Tremolo is a woman...maybe she knows more about what women want than do you. I'm just happy to read her reply that I may be finally figuring it out

[tremolo]

That is just some BS pop culture stereotype.

I'm not saying women only like beer-guzzling, sports-watching frat boys who are conventionally male in every way. I'm saying women like men who embody characteristically male qualities - even though these differences are often the same things that drive us crazy. I recently had a blind date with a guy who was such a chatterbox and so touchy-feely in his demeanor that I wanted to run screaming back to my emotionally deficient ex boyfriend. As a highly emotional creature, I want someone who can feel and express very deep emotions, but who is emotionally strong and collected, who I can always count on to always support me and be my rock. I want someone to balance out my emotional sensitivity with emotional strength. Men who embody feminine qualities send me running because they remind me of myself, and, as much as I like myself, I want someone rather different from me, with the qualities I lack. If I wanted someone like myself, I would date a woman and not a man.