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Thread: Is this girl just trying to be nice?

  1. #1
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    Is this girl just trying to be nice?

    Hey, im new to this forum so I apologize if I do something wrong. Alright, so this friend of mine seems to always be busy. Although thats what she says I have a feeling that she is lying. Heres the story: Me and this girl have gone on a couple friendly dates and they seemed to go well with lots of laughter and the occasional flirting but now every time I ask her to do something she says she is busy. Sometimes she will even suggest a date to hang but later will cancel. Now if this was only for a couple weeks I wouldn't be asking you guys but this has been going on for more than 2 months now. I have tried to stop asking her to do stuff but thats when she asks to do something. I don't know its really confusing. I think she likes me more than a friend too because I have caught her staring(?) at me. I also like her but this busy thing is turning me off. Is she trying to be nice, playing hard to get, has no interest? What do you people think? Thanks.

  2. #2
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    Believe it or not, she's probably just busy.... I've got a friend who questions everything I do and say because he never believes me when I have to cancel or postpone plans. It's honestly just because I'm busy. And it's very annoying when he questions me constantly and constantly tells me he doesn't believe me. Not saying you do this, I'm just telling you not to. If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't offer to make plans.

  3. #3
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    this is sort of the situation I'm in. (see my thread)

    bonded pretty well with her the first time we were together studying. I see her looking at me in class, but she doesn't talk to me now. I guess she's just really busy.

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    i am also always busy but I will make time for him whenever he ask me to go out. I'll postpone my other plan to later time.

    It really depends on how much she's in love with you, maybe she likes you, but not so much into you.

    Anyway, just a wild guess, good luck my friend!

  5. #5
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    Maybe she's honestly really busy. But even busy people can make plans and keep them. If someone cancels plans with you repeatedly, then they're either really rude, or they just don't care much about keeping their word to you. Either way, it's not good and you really shouldn't keep trying with them.

  6. #6
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    Don't be too disheartened dude. She probably really is genuinely busy. However, from my vast dating history, I can understand why you're a bit on edge. Some girls can be TOO nice & don't wanna let you down, so they act all indifferent/pretend they're busy til you lose interest.
    But, that's probably not the case here broski, keep your chin up & win her heart!

  7. #7
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    Thanks for everyones input. From the majority of you it seems like she just might be busy. Do you have any suggestions on how to even hang out with some this busy? Or should I not attempt to hang out with her until she becomes not so busy?

  8. #8
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    Like others said, sure people get busy, but lets look at this logically for a minute. What would keep a person with (I'm assuming these things, you can correct me if I'm wrong) no kids, no illness of some kind, family problems , or studying for some exam like the bar, gre, gmat or something like that for a solid 2 months? 2 months of her being too busy to spend time with you ONCE. Imagine a relationship with this chick. I couldn't imagine going a month without spending time with my chick, it's not even a long distance relationship is it? The "I'm busy" excuse is getting really old these days. If she wanted to spend time with you, I'm sure she could find a few hours to spare out of 2 months. For whatever reason she just isn't making time for you. It's weird to me that she hasn't mentioned what's occupying ALL of her time. If she were into you, I think she mention, "I'm so swamped at work and I work 12 hour days" or "I'm studying for this BAR examine and it's really taking a toll on me", but no, she just says, I'm busy?????

  9. #9
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    Have you tried communicating honestly and clearly with her?

  10. #10
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    Her usual excuse is she is visiting family. But for 2 months! WTF! Anyway should I call her out that she seems to be lying? The more and more I attempt to get with this girl the less and less I find my self interested.The problem with me right now is I don't want to let her go to early because it could be a huge mistake.

  11. #11
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    Anyway should I call her out that she seems to be lying?
    Yes. You should do exactly that if you do not want to have any more contact with this girl.

    I agree that she very well might just be busy. But continously breaking plans is disrespectful. And THAT is the thing you should be upset about, not about her being busy.

    The more and more I attempt to get with this girl the less and less I find my self interested.
    Well, I think you solved your own question then...

    The problem with me right now is I don't want to let her go to early because it could be a huge mistake.
    But you don't have her right now to let her go.

    Do this - stop thinking about her. Expand your social circle and look into other potential dating partners. Let other people and things be your focus. Basically, you get busy for a while.

    If she suggests another meetup and you want to go, then go. But don't make it the main priority for you.

    Good luck.
    Brought to you by Dating With Devon!

  12. #12
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    I cant understand how you guys could think she's busy for 2 months. Really, is she the CEO of a company, does she have a husband and kids? Just doesn't seem realistic at all to me. The more I think about it, the more it seems she's just stringing you along or not being honest about something. Visiting family, man I guess some places people visit family so often they don't have time for anything else.....

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