Still confused :( Please give some insight!

[curiousgurl29]

I've posted many a time on here, but still feeling confused!

I lived abroad for three years in Colombia and fell in love with a great guy there. We were together for 2 1/2 years. I just returned to the states in 5 months ago. We broke up, partly because he couldn't get a visa to the US (he tried two times). I also was unhappy with our sex life. Anyway, I am currently teaching ESL to students in a very urban that has a lot of Spanish speakers. I have not been able to let go of the thought of my ex. I have times when I miss him so much it's physically painful! He was funny and so sweet. He kept me balanced. I especially miss him because I am surrounded by a latino culture I love but also really just reminds me of him!

Here's more complication. I met another guy here. He is a great guy and very good in bed. He is super sweet and is very ready for a committed relationship. But I'm not sure if he really is my type. And I still can't stop thinking about my ex! I still occasionally talk to my ex on facebook and he has told me he is still in love with me. (I have told new guy that I am still not totally over my ex)

I have suffered from anxiety in the past and now it is really overwhelming! I am thinking about returning to Colombia for vacation just to see how it goes. What is terrible is my complete indecisive nature. One minute I will be absolutely convinced that I should go back to Colombia one minute and then the next, I think I should just stay in the states and break off communication completely!

I also think my job has been stressful lately, as well as being back in the states, have also added to my anxiety...

So should I just break it off completely with both the new guy and my ex? Or should I take a trip to Colombia again?

[pisces25]

You keep posting this over and over. There is really nothing more anyone can say or do. IMO it sounds like you need to go and see this Columbian guy and then decide one way or another what to do. Without seeing him in person you will probably keep wondering, which it sounds like you have been doing with your identical posts. If I recall most people advised to cut of Colombian boy and concentrate on the new one but sounds to me like you haven't done this. So I think your only option now is to go to Colombia coz you obviously can't just move on with this new guy. Just do it.

[confused2207]

Here's how I see it. And I don't claim to be an expert. But what I think...

You don't find true intense love everyday. Its special. If you think that this thing you had with a guy from another country is somethin that special, go get him. Chase it with a vengeance. You don't know if you'll find that again. It could be ill fated, and it might not work out, but 20 years from now, will you be sittin here askin yourself if you should have went to columbia but you settled for somethin less?

[devonbrown]

It seems like I have heard this story before. Oh, wait, I have...

I don't think you are going to gain any more insight than the responses you were getting before. I think it is just a matter of you doing SOMETHING now.