Ex has a baby with another woman

[ladycb5988]

I am going through a rough patch with an ex I'm not looking to being with him or anything of that nature. Just need closure and to know if he still cares. He just had a baby by another girl while we were broken up for 4 months but was still together sexually. It's making me really insecure, I can't even go shopping without thinking of the baby when I see baby things. I dont know at one point I thought I was pregnant when we were in a relationship. I know we don't work but I always have that what if? In the back of my mind. He said we wouldn't work because I dont trust him.......I know he isn't with the girl but only time will tell. What should I do ladies?

[NoNoNomi]

You don't trust him for good reason. Just remember that and don't blame yourself. If he was really worth the heartbreak and agony you're going through he wouldn't have had a baby during a short (yes, 4 months is short) break-up. I went through a similar situation with a lot of deceit and it's taken me 6 years and the destruction of a following relationship to finally deal with the fact it wasn't me. There's nothing you can get from him at this point to give you the closure you're looking for. What I finally did was go through old letters I'd written and never sent (I didn't have an address to send them to) and read things he'd sent me. These were things I'd buried under my bed for years too terrified to read because of the heartbreak. I, too, couldn't look at baby things and felt nothing but disappointment and sadness. When I finally got up the courage to read those letters I realized that I poured my heart and soul into that relationship and he'd clearly left some things lacking. I was able to let go of thinking I'd caused the loss of love, him abandoning me for another woman, having a baby with someone else, etc, and realized that if he had one ounce of the love and trust I had that never would have happened and that I deserved someone who, like me, would never do that. If you know you don't love this man and he clearly is already not man enough to work through what is deservedly going to be some tough trust re-building by using the cop out "you just don't trust me," please find a way to love yourself as a friend would and take care of yourself for a while before moving on to another man who is stronger.

[ladycb5988]

thank u soo much!

[ladycb5988]

im starting to think he got the girl pregnant on purpose....smh