Forced apart by circumstances

[annon_dan]

Hello,

Please excuse my first post not being an introduction. I just feel very lost and hurt. I've had a lump in my throat for days and I feel like I just want to break down in tears and disappear.

I work in London, and I met a girl who was working as the cleaning lady for the building, she was 29 and I was 22, she is Bulgarian and she was just amazing. I feel in love the moment I saw her. Over the next 3 months I courted her and tried to speak with her until eventually we did get together.

She had already planned to go back to Bulgaria for a short trip to see family and see the doctors etc... she has had a few health issues and she wanted to sort that out in her country.

When she left I felt lost and didn't want anything anymore, after a few days we hooked up on Skype and we spoke maybe every day or so, we grew so close even with the distance. She had to have an operation to remove a myoma from her uterus. At this stage she told me that the doctors think she only has a year to have children. This didn't scare me and I was sure about her, I didn't tell her right away because I didn't want her to think I am crazy.

She had another health issue she wanted to have checked, for her head, she would often feel numb on one side when she wakes up in the morning, this was worrying her.

We carried on growing closer and closer and I booked my flight to go and see her and at the same time her ticket to come back to London, I also planned a trip to France where my parents live, that's for the end of July).

But with just over a week before I go there she tells me she doesn't want to come to London with me. Her parents are going through divorce and her mother is really having a hard time at the moment, she's very upset and becoming "crazy" according to her.

I understand everything is difficult and she's now depressed, and as I was saying with little over a week to go before we meet up again, she tells me that. She said I should still go there but she will not go anywhere.

We spoke on the phone for ages and I emptied my heart down the line, I told her I understood her problems and that I want to be with her, make her happy, give her a child, protect her, I am not too young and this is what I want. This seemed to change everything for her and it felt it was all back on but she's gone cold again.

I've made so many plans and that was my fault, but she wants them too I know it. But she's seeing her family fall apart and I can understand she doesn't want to leave.

I feel so lost and I don't know what to do, what can I do ? I just want to cry. I love her.

[Renwo]

If she loves you back as much as you love her, then whatever you do is don't give up or leave her in her time of depression. It hurts a lot when someone you love gives up and leaves you when you are already down. Stay in contact, and hope she has a quick recovery from her current state of mind.

[annon_dan]

wow... it's time for an update.... brace yourself...

Okay so since she left for Bulgaria, I started making plans to move in together and help her find work etc... I was telling her these plans and she was excited and looking forward to doing it all.

I went to Bulgaria, and the truth slowly showed it's ugly face.

There is another man.

Not only that, she told me we were never together, she never considered me a boyfriend and told me we've only been on 4 or 5 dates. (Note this didn't stop her being involved and supporting my plans to move in together).

Anyway, 3 weeks ago she met a boy, and she really liked him. She has a trust issue with men so she didn't say anything to me because she didn't "want to loose me" and then find out this other guy is a bad man.

While we were together in Bulgaria she told me she slept with him (I don't know how many times), and now it would seem they are bf / gf. Despite everything we were staying together in a villa on the beach.

She hadn't spoken about this boy until she got a message from him suspicious that she's with someone else.

Then it all came out, she had plans to go to Turkey with him, he's got property out there, he's closer to her age etc... and I was sat there while she scampered around trying to lie her way to not lose him.

Only on the last day she told me the "truth" - he's a poor boy and they're not going to Turkey, they're going to London... in 1 week !

So basically, she lied to my face for 3 weeks, went behind my back, made plans with this boy and kept me on the side in case she needed me, now I feel like I'm the one who should feel "lucky" we spent time together in Bulgaria because she took a "risk" being with me ! How low can you go ! ?

I don't even have the strength to elaborate anymore, I feel sick !

[bulrush]

You need to stay away from her, avoid all contact. She is really mixed up, she may not even have medical problems, and she sounds like a pathological liar. If someone kept giving you a drug that kept hurting you, would you still take it?

[DarkHelmet82]

You need to stay away from her, avoid all contact. She is really mixed up, she may not even have medical problems, and she sounds like a pathological liar. If someone kept giving you a drug that kept hurting you, would you still take it?

depends on how good the drug was lol..... but you are right

[Cerby]

Game over.