future with best friend

[drummerboy72]

Hi Guys,

6 Months ago I seperated from my wife, since then I have become very close to my best friend who is female and has helped me work through the depression I had, but now i have now fallen for her. She knows how I feel but I can't get a straight anwser out of her about how she feels.

We are very very close and even her family think we are together anyway because of the way we are with each other. I have tried talking directly to her about our feelings but get no real anwser. I normally get "now isn't the right time for either of us, lets see what happens in the future". which is true, now isn't the right time, we both a few issues that need to be sorted first.

but I don't know if she's trying to let me down gently or if she would be interested in a relationship in the future. I don't know whether to try and move on from her which is hard because we are very close friends and are constantly together or hold out to see what developes between us in the future and risk getting my heart broke if she ends up with somebody else in the future?

Any advice on how to deal with this situation would help, Thanks.

[devonbrown]

My advice is to treat her as a friend. Because that is what she is. You are 6 months into a separation from your marriage? I assume that means that you aren't divorced legally yet. So deal with that. Your friend is acting the exact way she should be, whether she has feelings for you or not.

So don't think about things like you having feelings for her. Concentrate on getting your stuff together and being in a good place. Only AFTER you are in a good place should you think about new potential romantic partners.

Good luck.

[smackie9]

Just a friend dude. You are right she won't tell you because you will get hurt and that you are already going through a rough time of it so why add more pain to the situation. Seriously tho you shouldn't be thinking having a relationship at this time.....like devonbrown has said you need to have your head in a better frame of mind before searching for romance. You need to heal, and maybe just go out on some casual dates, make new friends, do new things...enjoy being single, focus on experiencing life. Dating your friend isn't your answer right now.