He ended it out of nowhere

[Neecla]

I am really missing this guy I dated for about 3 months. We met last June and it was like love at first site. We were amazing together and had insane chemistry and shared many interests. I totally thought he was the one and it wasn't lust struck or anything. Anyway, long story short, I could tell he was starting to fall for me and that's when he ended it. Said he couldn't handle dating anyone right now and needed to be alone. He was married before, but had been divorced for about 6 years (I'm 34 and he's 40).

Anyway, it's been a while and I just can't seem to close the door on this guy. I am really feeling weak and wanting to reach out to him so bad. I ran into a mutual friend of ours today and I asked how he was doing. The friend didn't have much to say at all, but that he had gained weight, but recently shed the pounds off. I told him to tell him I said hi.

Why do guys do this shit? Why end something that was so good? There were no problems. We got along incredibly. This sucks and I'm doing everything I can to not email him (I deleted his # from my phone). He broke up with me last October and I emailed him once in January about something that reminded me of him. He asked how I was doing and I responded, but of course he didn't email back.

I'm guessing he's just a coward and is afraid to get involved in fear of getting hurt. I know it wasn't the "he's just not that into crap" because of how he treated me. I've been in love before and know how a guy acts when he's in love too.

My closest friends say to not email him, but everything inside of me is telling me to do so. I'm scared though that if I do, I won't hear back from him.

[devonbrown]

Women do the same thing. It is not just a male thing.

But the fact is that you will probably never know the "why" of his actions, and you will probably just drive yourself crazy wondering. You are doing the right thing in not initiating contact, but don't ask friends of friends about him any more.

You say that you are guessing he is a coward. That is as good of a guess as any. Hold onto that reasoning and put him in your rear view mirror. You will be much happier, and sane in the future, that way.

Good luck.

[kageri]

Rarely do things just suddenly end. Usually when someone says that they missed all the other person's signals. If he says he's not ready to date after that long then odds are this is never going anywhere and even if you convinced him to try it would probably end badly. It's best to not contact him and try to move on.