I know.. I shouldn't be jealous.

[hunter1]

I now it's ridiculous for me to be jealous. It is. I acknowledge the stupidity of the situation.
I posted last month about my bf (of 2 years) going on an all guys trip to Mexico for their "collective" birthdays this summer.
Well, trip is done. Things were great.
My bf talked some about the trip but not too much. Mostly about the food and drink. Said he spent most time at beach and pool. Ok. That's all good. I realize he's going to hang out and talk to people on the trip. That's fine too.
They've been back for 2 weeks. And just this weekend he mentioned that they hung out with some women. One of the women is now dating his friend that was on the trip.. guess they did more than hang out.
That's cool. I'm happy his friend met someone. But I noticed yesterday that on my boyfriend's facebook. I wasn't stalking, I was actually about to leave him a sweet message.Then I noticed that he added both the new girl that his friend is dating and her friend.. another girl that he forgot to mention. That they just happened to hang out with while they were on the trip. I brought up the trip he even talked about how they all went dancing and they women hung out with their guy group.
No one else on the trip has added either of these women as a friend on facebook. Just my bf and his friend. My bf and his friend also shared lodging.
I find it strange that he didn't mention the friend of the girl and it makes me very upset to think that anything might have happened. I'm being out of control. I know it. I can't stop.
On one side.. I'm paranoid for looking like a fool. My ex-husband cheated on me early on in our marriage.
It did some damage to me.
On the other side, I love my bf and I don't think he'd really cheat on me. Although he is quite flirty and if drunk and in the right location and the right person is all over him.... he might not behave the way that he should.
Basically, letting some woman hang all over him in front of his friends on vacation would make me really upset. Esp if they are all thinking they have some secret to keep.
I don't know what to do.... do I ask him about the friends he added? Or do I just let it go? I need some sound advise bc I'm really letting my anger and jealousy get the best of me today!!!!

But why add some girls to your fb page that you only met on vacation for 4 days.. that you'll not likely ever see ever again?? I don't understand how "close" they got to do that!!!
It may be the girls that added him.. I'm fairly certain. But still. He doesn't act like he's mine. Why do I keep thinking he is? I'm stupid.

[girl68]

there's 2 alarming things you say

1) "you trust him" followed by a BUT which means you don't fully trust him

2) he doesn't act like he's "yours" what's that supposed to mean anyways?

[hunter1]

i trust him sober. i don't trust him drunk, in another country.. that's by his words "an alternate reality". and being spurred on by his friend, who thinks of himself as a playa.

he flirts in front of me with other girls sometimes and even with the waitress at times.

I thought it was sorta cute at first.. ....but now it sorta makes me feel not as special as I thought I was.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

They probably had sex. Like you said, they'll never see each other again, so why not?


You're not as special as you think you are.

[girl68]

i trust him sober. i don't trust him drunk, in another country.. that's by his words "an alternate reality". and being spurred on by his friend, who thinks of himself as a playa.

he flirts in front of me with other girls sometimes and even with the waitress at times.

I thought it was sorta cute at first.. ....but now it sorta makes me feel not as special as I thought I was.

you need to have the "rules, boundaries, and limitations" talk. it very obvious you're both on different pages as to what is acceptable and what is not.

[devonbrown]

And you need to figure out what are his criteria for adding someone as a facebook friend. To some people, it is as simple as remembering a barista's name at a coffee shop you visited 5 years ago. To others, they have to know them very well and have shared much of their personal life with. If he is more towards the first type, then you probably don't have to worry about him adding facebook friends.

By the way, trusting sober but not trusting drunk = not trusting.

[lahnnabell]

Everyone's right. You don't trust him. Bottom line.

My ex and I had a similar problem. As time wore on I gathered enough evidence that suggested he was particularly inappropriate towards the opposite sex while he was drinking. He didn't see the harm as he never physically cheated, but he definitely blurred the lines with his disrespectful behavior. I had to have a few "boundary" talks with him and I was quickly growing tired of the training sessions. I'm glad I'm not dealing with that BS anymore.

[IncognitoSir]

Your super insecurity and lack of trust is going to kill the relationship. If you don't trust the guy, why waste your time? You have yet to mention anything that he has seriously done wrong here. You want him to go over EVERY single detail of his trip.......not because you want to know about the trip but because you don't trust him. You need to be honest with yourself here.