When is love love, but not in love

[Richardeg]

I have a question to the group. My partner and I have been together for 15 months. During this time he has said that he loves me but is not in love with me. THat has always caused a considerable strain on the relationship and recently we have split.
He is looking for the fairytale first kiss and fireworks. Does such a thing exist?
I am deeply in love with him and when we split, he has been so emotional and upset. Saying things like he loves me more than he has ever loved anyone else, but that love is not enough for him. He thinks he is not good enough for me and that I can do better.
Should i pursue? I think he is crazy
All replies welcome.
Thanks

[VincenzoG91]

He needs to grow up. Fairy tales are for children. Commitment is for adults who understand the true meaning of love.

[Horseyguy]

I was in a realtionship with someone that loved me but didn't have that feeling of being in love and in the end that difference showed and caused us to split up

At least he was being honest with you by telling you how he feels. I didn't get to know how she really felt until I ended it and it just made everything we had seem so false.

But I agree with Vince it's about the commitment and she didn't really commit because she wasn't feeling the fireworks and it killed the relationship

[smackie9]

I can understand where he is coming from. He means he doesn't connect with you on a deep level. Some people just coast through relationships, feel love, but not passionate intense love ( yes it does exists ). He gets emotional because he misses the familiarity of what your relationship had and feels a lot of guilt for feeling this way. I've been in his shoes.....it tears you apart. I felt I was missing something, and I realized, as difficult as it was, I had to end it because that feeling wasn't going away.

This isn't unusual. The honeymoon stage of a relationship lasts for about a year to a year and a half, then the infatuation wears off, you see what you actually have......if you don't have strong comparability to keep things interesting the relationship won't have what it takes for the long haul.