Does she think about me still? Would she ever come back?

[Tkman]

I'll set the stage. I am 30 years old, She is 28. We were together for 2 years and she broke up with me this past April. She wanted to break up back in Feb but I worked hard to keep her but failed. She left me because we lived an hour apart and were trying to buy a house together to start our lives with each other but it was taking too long to sell my house I had now so we had the money for a new one. She didn't want to wait any longer. I found her to be the one who made my dreams come true and I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with. She felt the same and we always talked about getting married and when (Oct2012). We also talked about having a family and stuff. I was soo happy and got my hopes up extremely high for our future together. But the last 4 months together she lost her love for "us" and wanted out because of what I said above with the house. It hurt the “way” she broke up with me but it worked. She had to say horrible things and got so mad with me just so I'll get the message. I didn’t want her to give up and that’s why I didn’t want to break up. So Finally on May 7th I gave her all her things back and we stopped all contact with each other.

I had her passwords to her email, cell phone account, Google latitude (gps) and Facebook. I noticed she deleted everything about me including my email contact in her aol. She only has kept my phone number in her phone. So during the break up I was snooping through it all to see what she was doing. I found that a week before she asked for all her stuff back and we stopped all contact she started talking to a few guys/ ex bf’s. Well one ex took the bait and since turned into something serious. Early on I tried searching this guy on Google to find out who he was. Shockingly I found out he was MARRIED. After a month of tracing this through her accounts I saw my ex and him were very heavily involved in their relationship so soon after we broke up. It’s like they picked up where her and I left off. So I turned jealous about it of course and had so many questions still. At one point I made contact with that guys wife. I told her who I was and what I discovered. At first she was pissed and didn’t believe me. 2 weeks went by and she contacted me saying I was right and she found out about other girls he is seeing and talking to. She also said once she confronted him that he got so mad and he wanted a divorce.

The wife and I speak sometimes and has said thank you so much for telling me this and don’t feel bad about it. She has had him served with divorce papers. She goes on and say that she never had any suspicion about anything going on through-out their 3 year marriage. (They’re in their 30’s). They had a great married and early this year bought a new house together.
So my question I have, why would my ex do something like become a home wreaker? She comes from a full Italian family with better values than this. This guy can never provide anything close to what I was going to provide for her. I was never married, no kids yet, great career. This guy is a married cheater, has a kid with a different woman before the marriage, and doesn’t want any more kids and doesn’t have money to buy a house. She is totally settling for something against everything she has ever told me she wanted in a relationship / marriage.

Between me being jealous and also not wanting my ex to go through what this guys wife is I wrote her an anonymous email stating FACTS that she should ask him about. I hit on points suck as; ways he hid things from his wife like with a password for his phone and the girls he talks to aren’t “girls” names in his phone, to the webcam site he still visits to cam with girls. Well, my ex responded pissed thinking it was the wife and said “get a life, I know more about whats going on than you do. You guys were having issues before I ever was back in his life”. So you see how that email went, lol. I sent her response to his wife and she said that her husband is totally telling her b.s. We never had any problems and had a healthy marriage. And if he felt differently than the wife never had any clue he wanted to split. My ex has been totally bamboozled by this guy and there is no telling her the truth plus I can’t even tell her myself because she would be extremely pissed on how I know. It sucks because he has moved into my ex’s apartment and they are looking for a new apartment to have before the end of the summer. So serious, so quick, why?

I tried on more thing. Her brother in law and I still talk once in a while and I met him and told him. Her family didn’t know at this point it was this guy she was with. They weren’t thrilled 5 years ago about him when they last dated and upset she left a good guy like me and also the good guy before me now for this “bum”. But I don’t know if telling her bro in law helped because the cheater has now starting going to all the family events. I think how my ex got bamboozled is how she explained it to her family now. They all probably think the wife is a crazy woman that had problems and stuff. But she isn’t a crazy wife and has done nothing but end up broken hearted by this scum.

So a month and a half after we last spoke and also into her “new” relationship would have been our 2 year anniversary (which 6 months ago before I knew we would break up, I was planning on proposing to her) so at this point yes I was still in love with her. Well on that day I sent $350 in flowers & ediblearrangments to her job and apartment (I did the apartment because I know he lives with her now). By the end day she texted me saying they were thoughtful but unnecessary. I then opened my heart asking to come back. To put it nicely after about 10 emails back and forth she really shitted all over me saying leave me alone, I don’t want you anymore and that she is happier now with her new bf than she ever was with me. So I haven’t made contact to her since.

A month after that is where we are now. Monday the July 18th is her birthday and obviously I still am thinking about her and so want to send her a card, flowers, or even a text. Everyone around has said NO. So I am not but its going to be so difficult.

My questions are; Do you think through any of this I am anything of a thought on her mind? I would love to have her back but if I don’t do anything on her b-day would that end any chance of getting her back? Why has she changed her standards for this guy? How can she kick me out of her life one day and so quickly start something with someone else?

Sorry for this long drawn-out letter, I just wanted to fill you in on all the background info. Thank you so much if you read this.

[Wakeup]

You know, I seriously think you should get some help. You are a meddling sociopath by your own discription. Add Stalker as well as insecure and pathetic. Please call your local mental health hotline and tell them that you need an immediate intervention. While you wait for your appointment, read Codependend No More and search for titles on building self worth and personal boundaries.

P.s. NO! She never thinks of you nor will she want to ever hear from you again. Lose her personal passwords... The FBI, Interpol, Scotland Yard, The KBG, and The Royal Canadian Mounted Police are onto you. O_o

Creep Factor: 8-1/2 out of a possible 10.

[NeverDated]

So...while Wakeup's response was a little harsh, it's kind of true. You guys broke it off. Passwords or not, you don't sneak a peek. Let her go and move on. You really sound like a control freak. Either the house story is just how you want to frame it, or it was the most convenient [read: nicest] excuse she could come up with to break it off with you. Her actions suggest she's a nice woman who doesn't want to hurt your feelings, but will go for the jugular when you miss her hints to leave her alone. She deleted you out of her digital life - that signals extremely done. If she thinks about you, it's nervousness that you will get in contact.

No, you will not get her back. You should never, under any circumstances, contact her ever again.

Let it die. Delete her from everything - phone, Google, AOL, whatever has any of her contact information, go delete it right now. Then have a crash/burn rebound with someone you will never have a half-way decent relationship with, self-assess and learn from it.