Triangle of doom, needs some seasoned-veteran advice.

[JohnnyB109]

Good evening from Australia.

I'm a longtime reader first time writer on a forum like this, but after searching for advice, i couldn't find anything tailored to my situation.

I'm currently involved in a love triangle, where each point has a complicated relationship with the other two.
I'm a 17 year old young man who is involved with 2 best friends.

The first - "A" - I've known for 3 or 4 years. She was the first girl I asked out to a date. After this first date we didn't speak for ages, as the young immature kids we were in year 7-8. Now, she is a very mature girl who doesn't know what she wants relationship-wise, and is very sexually active. She has had some odd relationships in the past and has since given up on having a romantic relationship with anyone during High School. She is generally a nice person, but flirting is always at the front of her mind. 2 years since that date, we met again and found that we had further matured. We are part of the same friendship group of about 10 people our age, most of whom went to the local state primary school (I went to a catholic primary next door). She is an auburn-haired blue eyes girl, with a lean frame.

The second - "B" - I've known for only 12 months. I had seen her occasionally on public transport and had always wondered who she was. It was until 12 months ago when one of the people from our group invited B to a gathering of ours, and I instantly recognized her. Since then we have been very good friends. She is very creative and colourful (but not loopy, ya know?). She has had two separate relationships in the last 12 months, the last coming to a startling halt 1 month ago, when the guy cheated on her. She has since become less inclined into committing to a relationship. B has a way of making everybody in the room smile, eapecially me.

THE STORY BEGINS:
I'll start by reflecting on a few times I've had with A and B.
Most of the times I've had with A have been entirely physical. The first time was at a gathering at my place, in which after copious amounts of alcohol, left A and I tangled in a sweaty heap on my bed. We've had multiple times like this before B comes into the picture. Though, the relationship I have with A is not purely physical, we have been out to dinner multiple times on the city and she has told me that she considers me a close friend with whom she can relate with.

Like i said, B and I met at that gathering 12 months ago, and that prior to that, I had seen her occiasionly. Each time I've seen her I've been attracted to her, but never really thought to approach her. 3 weeks prior to the gathering, I was told to go to the local grocery store to pick up some things or an event. when I went to pay for my purchases, B was the checkout chick and we froze up and smiled as is made my transaction. From that point on I was infatuated.
At the gathering, 3 weeks later, people were saying "ohh, can't wait for B to get here!" and before i knew it, the door rang and here was this gorgeous girl from the grocery store. While the night was for meeting and greeting exchange students, B and I shot quick glances at eachother throughout the whole night and made a lasting impression on eachother. After I had established who it was and who she was friends with, she was quickly integrated into our group and so forth.

As B and I got to know eachother, and became more attracted to eachother, A began to have feelings for me too. As best girlfriends do, they talk, and before I know it they both stop talking to me (it was later found out that A had made a deal with B that neither of them would pursue me as not to bring conflict between them. A few weeks into that, we had another night at my place, ending up with A and I kissing drunkenly. This quickly broke the bond they had as they have had this problem - where both are interested in the same guy - in the past. B began to become upset with me because she thought that I liked her the better of the two, and I did, but had broken what we had had. They both then began to see separate guys for a while.

A and her boy broke up first, and we maintained being friends in the same group, but nothing more. B and her guy split up a couple of weeks before christmas, which stemmed only from because they decided they were better off as a friends. As the days before Christmas we were talking more and more, and were effectively back on track, ready to go out once I it back from overseas for 3 weeks.

As i arrived home from overseas, the next school term started and being the ambitious girl B is, she elected to take on the challenging IB course. In the first few weeks of us going out she had to call it quits because she thought we were better off as friends, and that the stresses of an IB course were too much right now.
I know that after the "better-off-as-friends" talk that there's never much hope and that you're best to move on, and so I did.

THE LAST 3 MONTHS:
A and I started talking more serious again, and we decided to try a "friends with benefits" physical relationship because we wanted zero commitment and fun fun fun. We also had a killswitch, that as soon as one of us became involved with someone we would stop immediately with no repocussions. After initially failing, we resumed our Phys. relationship and are still going. (note: we have not had intercourse, but neither of us have our virginity).

B was so happy with mr. X. They were together for about a term, until a month ago when he hooked up with another girl at a production afterparty. She was heartbroken from this and is still shaken up. B and I are fantastic friends and I visit her at work by making small, useless purchases.

4 days ago, my best mate, my exchange student, A and B bought a bit of alcohol to get our buzz on, and then played Truth or Dare. I was selected to be blindfolded, and kissed by both A and B, consecutively, upon which I had to distinguish between the two girls. A went first and i immediately knew it was her lips. And then
B kissed me. I had never kissed B before, and i was simply euphoric. She kissed twice as long and with more passion than A, and I wonder what she was thinking. A didn't think much of it at the time, but began to snuggle me for the rest of the night, even though I was stupified by B's kiss.

Yesterday, I went to visit B at work, as I usually do. We teed up to meet up afterwards for dinner, which is pretty normal for us. I picked her up after work and we walked to a Subway because that was hat she felt like. On the way home we were very touchy feely, and began holding hands without taking about it. W
Halfway, we stopped and sat down. We turned to face eachother and had a kiss. We 'fessed up how we feel for eachother but that I need to let down the other girls I had going on, and most importantly immediately end my relations with A so I could make my dreams come true and be with B. She told me that she needs more time to deal with her emotions regarding her now ex, Mr. X. She also told me that he doesn't want to lose me as a friend, and I reassured her I wouldn't think about hurting her, and that we'd still be great friends. I walked her home and came home feeling mixed emotions, but mostly excitement/euphoria/happiness. But, I know that her best friend, A, will not be happy with 'us'.

I know I can give her as much time as she needs, but i know that A will lose her shit when he finds out that I now want to date her best friend.

Any advice? Would love to hear some feedback!

[bulrush]

- I think "A" simply likes to have sex, and is having trouble coming to terms with that fact. She possibly feels she cannot talk to anyone about that for fear of being an outcast. Some people simply have a high sex drive. Nothing wrong with that.

- The other thing is I think you have to stick with one girl or you are going to have all sorts of complications. My first guess is you are too young and inexperienced to deal with polyamory, and so are the girls. So that is out.

[John Littlejohn]

My first guess is you are too young and inexperienced to deal with polyamory, and so are the girls. So that is out.

Why does one need to be old and experienced to deal with polyamory? I had a satisfying poly relationship as my first relationship when I was 14, and that worked out well. A situation where two best friends are interested in the same other person is a perfect setup for poly, if the two friends can learn to not be jealous of each other. Two best female friends are even more ideal since they have Automatic Girltalking installed.

Will it "work?" Would it be forever and ever? Who knows. Maybe not. Neither would a monogamous relationship with either of them. All relationships at age 17 are learning experiences, and poly experiences teach openness and honesty.

So it doesn't have to be a Triangle of Doom. Maybe it could be a Triad of Fun. What that would require would be everyone sitting down around a table and discussing their honest, actual feelings for each other.

[JohnnyB109]

Alright, Poly didn't work.

A got jealous of B, B had a social breakdown because of other issues, A wants to be option no. 1.
I tried to phase A out to be with B, but it turned out A had unrequited feelings and got all angry, so they're both pissed at me.
Thanks for the help, i'm gonna let the dust settle and play the field again!