What do my boyfriend and I need to 'refresh' our relationship?

[mkk17]

First of all, we're in a long-distance relationship, 1200 miles apart. We're less than a month away from our one-year anniversary. Lately, our relationship has been rather slow and I've been missing him terribly. He's been extremely busy so by the time he's available to skype, it's midnight and he's tired and doesn't feel like talking. We used to be up til 3 or 4 not able to stop talking. We'd have nights where we'd hang up and I'd fall asleep with a smile on my face. Now, our talks either get cut short or drag on, waiting for a deep conversation to arise. We've run out of things to do and talk about and it makes me sad sometimes cuz I just want to feel closer to him. The distance doesn't help either.... What can we do to add some 'spark' to our relationship and make us feel happier and more excited about each other again?

[lahnnabell]

There isn't much that you'll be able to do that isn't going to get boring eventually. Is there going to be a time when you guys won't be so far apart? These are the reasons long distance never works. Unless you have the means to go back and forth every so often, you're going to find yourself right back in this position in about a month.

[mkk17]

We see each other every 3-6 months

[lahnnabell]

So, when can you guys live closer to one another?

[Anna25]

^^Agreed (except for the part about long distance never working) Edit: This was written in regards to lahnnabell's first response (wrote post before further posts appeared)

What you two need is to meet. If there is any way to make it happen, you should both pitch in to buy one of you a plane ticket. You need to see each other. How long is this long distance going to go on for? An end date in sight really helps to make it through. Also, how long did you have to build your relationship before it became long distance?

I don't agree that long distance never works, I've seen it work but it is very, VERY hard. I have only seen it work once the relationship was solid, in other words the relationship had a long foundation before turning long distance. Also, when both sides pitched in to fly to see each other as often as they could. In the case I know of, my friend's boyfriend of 3 years got accepted for a post doctorate an ocean away. They got married and for two years, saw each other for a month or two, then didn't at all for 4 or 6 months. It was very difficult but they came through. You need to really make a huge effort if you are going to make this work. In particular, put a lot of effort into physically seeing each other.

[mkk17]

I'm hoping to fly him down next month, it just depends on if his family has plans that week or not. My mother doesn't allow me to travel alone yet, otherwise I would. I met him last year when he was visiting his cousin down here. We bonded right away because we're very much alike. We took the friendship route first, not dating right away so we could get to know more about each other. I'm hoping our end in sight will be after college, maybe four years from now. I know it will be difficult. I'm prepared for it. He says he is too. But between now and then, I just want to make this as easy and happy as possible

[Incognito]

You're hoping to fly him down next month (which points to you being somewhat self sufficient), but your mom won't let you travel alone yet? How old are you? How is it that you have the money to fly your bf in from somewhere, but your mother [doesn't allow] you to travel alone? Something is amiss.

[mkk17]

Im 17. He's allowed to travel alone but I'm not. My mother, long story short, is very protective. The soonest I'd be able to travel alone is January. But we're kind of getting off topic now..

[Anna25]

Oh, dear. I didn't realize you were so young. This isn't what you want to hear but its not worth your time and effort. It was great while it lasted but give yourself the chance at a relationship and love with someone you can actually be with.

Its not even your age, you guys must have dated only a few months, and now you want to wait over 4 years before making it for real? I'm sorry hun but that's just not going to work..

I'd recommend you end things with him, you can always stay friends. Then give yourself a shot at an awesome relationship with a great guy you can actually be with.

[Incognito]

Then the short sweet answer is that there is nothing you can do to make things better than they currently are, that is until you two find a way to actually spend time together more often. There is only so much you can do through a screen or over a phone.

[mkk17]

Um, I've heard everything about why people don't agree with such things, but we're aware and willing to make it work. And I know plenty of married couples who met in high school. I simply want to know how we can continue to bond despite the distance

[lahnnabell]

Yes, but those couples were actually able to physically be with one another on a consistent basis. They were able to develop that solid foundation you need for the long haul.

[Incognito]

Um, I've heard everything about why people don't agree with such things, but we're aware and willing to make it work. And I know plenty of married couples who met in high school. I simply want to know how we can continue to bond despite the distance

Oooook. If there is 1200 miles between you two and, as you yourself said, you have run out of things to talk about then there is nothing else to do. You can only talk through a screen and through a phone. What do you want from us? How about this.... astroproject yourself to where he is so that you two can spend time together while you're not together. There, problem solved. Sheesh...