Not sure exactly what to do?

[Warhawk]

So my ex broke up with me around the beginning of June. There is no word or expression in the universe to describe the love I have for this girl. I still love her, but I am sorta passed the physical pain of being heart broken. I just always miss her and wonder if she is thinking about me. I still keep in loose contact with her. (Stuff has happened where we there is a still obvious connection and chemistry, but I think she is just unsure of what she really wants)

Since that break up, I've tried to be more confident in my self and pay attention to how people react when I talk to them (eye contact and body language). I read a few things here and there and wanted to try stuff out. Well I tried being confident, and keeping eye contact and just be a bit playful/cocky attitude towards her and she responded well. It made me feel good and made me forget about ex.

I talk to this new girl all the time, either via text or in person. I also work with this girl.(One of the reasons I'm unsure) I met up with her downtown and had some drinks (well I was already wasted) and it was fun. My question is, should I keep talking to this girl? I don't want to lead her on because I am not really sure if I am attracted to her, or if I talk to her to escape from thinking about my ex. At times when I wanted to text my ex, I'd text her instead. I don't want to use her, but at the same time it's "survival of the fittest". I always put other peoples needs before mine. I rarely say no to anything anyone asks me.

I ultimately make the decision of what I must do for my self, but I would like to know others opinions. I come to this forum everyday but really have nothing to ask that isn't stupid or pointless. Would it be wrong to flirt with this girl even though I still deeply care about my ex? Maybe it can lead to sex (I'm pretty sure she wants my D) but maybe it won't because I am still unsure of what to do?

Thanks!

p.s: I apologize if my structuring of thoughts is all over the place. I often think of a billion things to say, and then forget exactly how I want to say it by the time I get to the appropriate section.

[smackie9]

If you are unsure if you are attracted to her or not, that means she doesn't do it for you dude. Nothing wrong with going out and having fun, but I suggest you just tell her she is awesome to hang with, but you are still hung up on your ex.


You should also not put all your eggs in one basket...I'm sure there are other ladies out there that would love to spend time with you. Enjoy your freedom.

[celestina]

The situation is already delicate for you, but the fact that you guys work together just makes it worse. Stay away if you don't want drama in the workplace man.

[deeblondie82]

I think you need to just stay single. Things happen for a reason. Work on you and just date, no need to rush into something. Just have fun!

[saveamarriage]

Hey buddy,

Ya I think the best thing is not to let it get too serious. You still have feelings for your ex, and that fact you are unsure about this girl says something too. It's ok to hang out and get to know her a bit better etc. But hold off from getting anywhere near the relationship stage. I think you still have work to do on yourself before you get into anything serious. Good on you for trying to improve yourself!

[IncognitoSir]

Take a deeeeep breathe man, you're about to overwhelm yourself. Ok, you're not sure if you're attracted to her, that's ok. No need to burn a bridge just yet. Get to know her, COMMUNICATE with her. Learn what she's looking for, be clear in what you want with her, rather that be friendship, FWB, drinking buddies, best friends, etc. I'd advice you NOT to get into a relationship with anyone right now. Take it slow, no need to rush. I think you're doing great with this new chick so far though.It's good you've found someone to take your mind off your ex though, kudos!

[devonbrown]

There is nothing wrong with casually going out with someone, hanging out, etc. If something more develops, fine. But if not, that's fine too. You'll have a new friend. You definitely don't want to close yourself in a cave until you can't even remember your ex's name. That will just make things much worse for your own well-being. Go out, have fun, keep things light with everyone until you are ready. No need to stress.

Good luck.

[Warhawk]

Thanks guys, I probably did know what I should do deep down but it just takes a little reinforcement from others to make the decision solid.