I said it too soon

[Metz]

I told my 2 month girlfriend that I love her, like a retard, and she doesn't yet feel the same way. Now I think her interest in me might be slipping a bit. I am a virgin and I told her this recently too so would it be uncalled for if I told her that I was wrong and I don't think I quite love her yet because I am inexperienced and have never been in love, but that I still really like her? Or should I just try to play it cool and put myself in the mindset that nothing is wrong and she will eventually love me?

[davidjulier]

lay off of her for a while. I dont know the situation between you guys but it sounds like YOU seem to feel that you were a bit too forward with her, that you gave a bit of your power away, if you will. If that's true the best reaction here is to lay off of her for a while... kinda let the balance come back into the relationship. I'm not saying ignore her, but learn more towards that end of the spectrum in your every day decisions.

As soon as one person is putting more effort and investment into the relationship, it tends to go sour - almost like a self fulfilling prophesy.

Bring back the balance! don't put in more than you're getting out, else it will slip out of your hands.

[Metz]

So, what, should I be more of a challenge to her? Is that what you are saying? I still talk with her every day through texts. Can you give me an example?

EDIT: also. I've already set up a date with her for tomorrow so should I just cancel it? I told her that I loved her on monday.. too soon?

[HeartIsAching]

No, keep on like you've been doing, just be cool with the "I love you" 's for now.

[JammerHammer]

I think that you should be calm and collected with anything that happens with your girl. if you really want to get the "cool guy" mindset drilled into your mind, I suggest you get a dream, create goals for achieving that dream, and follow that dream with all your heart.

Why do think a lot of women like athletes or rockstars? Well, because they're cool! But why are they cool? It's not about how they look or dress, but it's because they follow their dreams. A man who follows his dreams with all his heart gets women.

A food for thought.

[smackie9]

I feel sorry for you because this means your relationship isn't progressing. Ive had a lot of relationships, and well if you are not passionately into each other to the point of being so in love after say about a couple of weeks or so, you are with the wrong person. You want sparks, chemistry, fireworks, cant keep your hands off each other type passion. It sounds to me you two are just hanging out together....just casual dating. Its been two months and this where you are at? You need to step back and ask yourself, is this your ideal relationship? Are you just taking what you can get because you are not that lucky to get a girl?

[smackie9]

I say stop wasting your time...as harsh as it sounds, you can do better.

[Metz]

When I told her I loved her, she said she didnt know enough about me. It's true, I am having trouble telling her things about myself. I've figured out a lot of things I will tell her about myself tomorrow though. I believe it is my trust issues that are holding back this relationship so I am going to start telling her more about myself starting with tomorrow's date.

I am in the mindset that if I start revealing more about myself she will come to love me. I was talking with her gay brother who is extremely close to her and he basically told me that she's been wanting to know about my likes/dislikes and about my past if that helps.

[smackie9]

You shouldn't have to work this hard to have someone fall for you.....it should happen naturally like it happened for you. You sound inexperienced, you will learn someday.

[Metz]

But I dont even tell my closest friends too much about me. I feel as though this relationship will help my trust issues, though I will leave soon if this doesn't work out and if she doesnt change her attitude after I tell her about myself. I will just go with the flow tomorrow and not try to be someone I'm not. Wish me luck.

[IndiReloaded]

It depends on her personality and history. I had a guy tell me he loved me fairly early on... I got a bit freaked. Not b/c I didn't care for him but b/c I was not too long out of another relationship and the ex was still clinging. Icky feeling love sometimes is, skywalker.

Relax, be yourself. Some women are skittish fillies for reasons nothing to do with you, but them. Assuming she's into you, and I haven't really read anything that says not, patience is the key to winning her over.

[jnr1005]

Give it time. You shouldn't expect or demand an "I love you" so soon into the relationship. My last boyfriend told me that about 2-3 months into the relationship and it freaked me out a little. I thought it was cute, but then he was peeved that I didn't say it back right away. Took me about an other 2-3 months before I felt okay with saying it to him bc then I really felt I knew him enough to say it. I wasn't going to say it before I was ready and was sure of how I felt. So give her some time and just chill. I would not continuously push the issue or keep saying it all the time. 2 months is not long enough to really know if you love the person. You need more time to truely know them.