Is this a little lie or a big one??

[Flo82]

• ok, so this is my first post and I just really need some advice. My fianc� and I have been together for 2 1/2 years now and before me, he was with a girl for 5 years. From what he has told me (as well as his family), he broke up with her for many reasons; she was not very faithful, had an aversion to any kind of work, partied heavily, etc. From pictures I've seen, it's clear this girl is MUCH prettier than me, but that never bothered me because I'm comfortable in my own skin and consider myself above average in the intelligence department. Now, from the day we began dating, I was aware that she texted him quite frequently. He was reluctant to answer her calls or texts. I think this was due mostly to me and how he thought I would react. I do not consider myself a jealous person and so I actually persuaded him to message her back or answer her calls. My feelings on this was that I did not believe their 5 years history warranted such coldness. He always showed me the texts she sent or that he sent and they were always very innocent. Now we are 2 1/2 years down the road and newly engaged and this is where my problem begins. He had his Facebook page on the computer and I decided to snoop in his messages because he mentioned (after I asked if he'd heard from his ex) that she had sent him a message on FB. I know this wasn't the right thing to do, but curiosity got the better of me. The conversation was fairly innocent, she mentioned that she was upset about a guy she liked who is now with someone else and he asked if he could do anything to help (she lives a couple hours away). It did seem like they were flirting, which is odd because my fianc� really isn't the type to flirt. So I asked him what she said on FB, and he completely lied. I even asked him if he was lying and he lied. I don't know what to make of this. I'm not really worried that he's going to cheat, but I am worried that he's starting to regret getting engaged. I don't know what to do and I'm not sure if I'm overreacting. Do I confront him, or do I wait and see? Please help, i need advice.

[HeartIsAching]

Which is it? Was the conversation fairly innocent, or was he flirting?

Frankly, you've got security issues - Yeah, I read your post, and I saw what you claim, but your actions belie your words. Secure people don't go through other people's FB messages.

You found something that might or might not be innocent, and now you're getting paranoid... guess what? You're insecure.

Don't tell him unless you want to foment a fight.

[misombra]

As you seek, so shall you find.

[vashti]

Don't confront him. You said it was an innocent conversation, so let it go. Just because he spoke to this woman doesn't mean he is sorry to be engaged, and hopefully, he is a big enough boy to speak up if he is having second thoughts.

Also, never ask him again a question you already know the answer to. You are setting him up to fail.