Should I break up with her? please help

[mwilliamsfan240]

I'm 20 and I'm in my first ever relationship. We both attend Ohio Wesleyan and started dating in February. We spent all of our time together and were inseparable at college. But we live four hours away from each other. This worried me a little, because she has an undemanding part-time job, and she always talked about how often she goes out drinking with her girlfriends at home.

About a week into the summer, a guy made a move on her while she was very drunk and they hooked up for about 30 seconds before she pulled away. She told me what happened immediately and sounded very remorseful. I care about her so much that I probably forgave her a little bit too easily (I ignored her calls for a day). Soon after, I visited her, and as far as I could tell everything went great. But a few days later, she called me and sounded devastated. She said the night before I visited she got very drunk and made a move on a guy. They kissed for about a minute before she pulled away. She said that she considered not telling me because she didn't want to break up. She said that after my visit, she no longer had doubts, and that our relationship felt more right than ever before. I told her that I would call her the next day after I thought things over. I didn't want to break up with her, but to send a stronger message, I ignored her for the next several days. When I finally called her, I agreed to stay with her, but told her that she would have to curb her drinking.

Now, she drinks once or twice a week, as opposed to everyday. We have visited each other three times since then and our bond seems closer than ever but things are more up and down now. We have some amazing days together but we also have some arguments. She cries each time we say goodbye, we say we love each other, we talk about baby names, etc.

I am happy when I'm with her, but when we're apart I have become increasingly paranoid. I know firsthand that she has an incredibly busy social life, but whenever she doesn't pick up a call or says she is unable to talk I start to doubt her interest level. The most we've gone without talking during this period is probably only 24 hours, but I am (probably irrationally) constantly worried she's losing interest. I have become less productive at work and have trouble relaxing, even when I'm with my friends. I keep telling myself I just need to get to September when we'll be back at school but that is a month away.

I am wondering if I should break up with her for my personal sanity and mental health. Before we started dating, I had a lot of trouble with girls, and so that is one thing weighing on me. We have amazing chemistry and we both care about each other so much. I really want this relationship to work. If we broke up, we'd both be distraught. I've tried really hard to trust her more, but I don't know if I can. One problem is that my social life isn't very busy, so I have a lot of time to spend worrying. Part of me thinks I should break up but I feel like that could end up being a mistake.

Does anybody have any advice... please?

[Mathias]

Are you just apart for the summer, or does she permanently live 4 hours away?

[mwilliamsfan240]

Just for the summer. I don't think I'll be nearly as stressed once college starts back up because we'll be living in the same dorm building so we will be together a lot...

[Bo]

Whether she made the move or the guy did, doesn't matter but she made the same mistake twice. She sounds like a loosey goosey if you ask me. Find a nice girl who knows how to keep her hands and oral cavities to herself drunk or not. I'd toss her. And plus sounds like she has some pretty unhealthy habits *drinking everyday<<< obviously doesn't know how to handle her liquor.

[Enchanté]

First of all, heck yea ohio! secondly, i noticed you said this was your first relationship--it may not seem important, but you could be more forgiving because you haven't had previous experience to learn from. My first boyfriend cheated on me, he cried, was sorry, i forgave him because i didn't want to break up with him, then a couple months later he cheated again and ended up with a rape charge. However, I can't completely blame him for my pain because I should have had enough self respect and strength to let him go. It's easy to let yourself believe that where you are is a good place, because it's comfortable and not a terrible situation, and it means that you are slowly figuring out your future, which is unknown, and we don't like the uncertainty. but don't let that keep you from realizing what's healthy for you. There are plenty of girls who deserve you, who would never even have the desire to kiss anyone else because they can't believe they got you, that they were that lucky. there is a time and place to be forgiving, but there is also a point where you have to draw the line. if this is your first relationship, it'll be hard as hell to break it off, and you will find any reason to justify staying with her--but take a step back and realize that she may not be valuing you as she should be, and you deserve that much.