Please help me before I snap !!! Can't take much more

[Lilsooz]

Hi all

I'm kind of new but I don't know where else to turn , sorry to give of this impression of me straight away but i don't know what else to do

I have been with my partner for 6 years now we are living together I'm 24 he 27. We used to be great together but it's becoming a living hell , I have done everything I possibly can to try and save it and now I'm just exhausted and feel like I just couldn't give a damn

It all boils down to one simple thing , repeating !!!! My partner repeats himself constantly !!! Now this may seem petty but I mean to an extreme !!! Like tonight for example he asked me the same thing 10 times in less than half an hour. !! Thing is i have had years of this , the problem is now I tend to shut off when he doss this and a row breaks out because he thinks I'm ignoring him . And he gets a temper !!!! He says nasty things , calls me names , towers above me to frighten me , bearing in mind at this point I actually have t done anything wrong

The part that worries me is before I would of cared I'd be like come on honey please I'm not arguing etc etc , now I'm just like a statue , he shouting at me having a go , I'm like yup ok and walk away i feel void and drained of any emotion, it's causing us not to have sex

He comes back with the same old I'm sorry I won't do this again the. 24 hours later we are there again

He used to be fun filled cheeky chap , now he is moody miserable and negative and I feel like the real me is just fading because he is so difficult to leave. He causes scenes and issues if I threaten to go and if I try he hangs onto me with crocodile tears with the I won't do this anymore

We use dtk be great before he became this person , he certainly not the man I fell for , I don't know what to do

Like I said this may seem petty but imagine this day in day out !!

[HeartIsAching]

It all boils down to one simple thing , repeating !!!! My partner repeats himself constantly !!! Now this may seem petty but I mean to an extreme !!! Like tonight for example he asked me the same thing 10 times in less than half an hour. !!

This is a control issue. He's getting your attention, and keeping your attention. Now that you're beginning to tune him out, he feels as if he's losing control - and he is. This causes him to feel fear, which he expresses as anger.

And he gets a temper !!!! He says nasty things , calls me names

Both are examples of emotional abuse, which he is again doing because he feels he's losing control of you.

towers above me to frighten me

Another form of abuse called Intimidation. Supposed to frighten you into control.

bearing in mind at this point I actually have t done anything wrong

Except for having the gall to get sick of his shit.

The part that worries me is before I would of cared I'd be like come on honey please I'm not arguing etc etc , now I'm just like a statue , he shouting at me having a go , I'm like yup ok and walk away i feel void and drained of any emotion, it's causing us not to have sex

This shouldn't frighten you. This should elate you. You've lost the emotional attachment and are getting the strength to walk. Which is what you should ASAP.

He comes back with the same old I'm sorry I won't do this again the. 24 hours later we are there again

He does it again because that's all he knows.

He used to be fun filled cheeky chap , now he is moody miserable and negative and I feel like the real me is just fading because he is so difficult to leave.

This is the real him. When things stopped going his way, this is what you got. Sad but true.

He causes scenes and issues if I threaten to go

Using Isolation and Emotional Abuse to make you feel as if you need him.

and if I try he hangs onto me with crocodile tears with the I won't do this anymore

Again, he will. It's all he knows. The only way out for him is to get counseling. If you care enough to stick around, ask that he get some domestic violence counseling. If he won't, don't walk - run.

Like I said this may seem petty but imagine this day in day out !!

No, none of this is petty. It's very real, and it may get very dangerous for you. Speaking as someone that was abused, and was an abuser, I hope you listen to me.

[ctr916]

I agree with the counseling or group therapy part. In my opinion, it could be a good thing to learn better coping skills.

[Dank]

Move on ... the road is coming to an end just catch the highway and meet someone else Goodluck

[Lilin]

Move on definitely. My mom has developed that control issue as well. She's become sick over the past few years and by loosing control of her health she's tried to gain control over other areas of her life. Our family being the main part. She'll repeat the same thing every few minutes asking you to do something or "reminding you." It drives us all batty, dad has completely tuned her out and says if he didn't still love her it'd be the straw that broke the camel of divorces back. It causes massive explosive arguments as well. You're best to get out now while it's still early.