best month of dating to break up out of no where?? so confused..

[mr.awesome83]

so here is some information before i go on. i met this girl she's 19 and a sophmore in college..i'm 28. now i know this is a very large age gap and i have never dated girl this young before but when i saw her i was just instantly attracted to her smile and i felt like there was something special about her. we talked online for a bit and flirted alot. I got her to go out on a date with me and that's where the story starts.

our first date, was probably the best first date i have ever had and she later told me it was for her as well. we had a great dinner, and kissed at the steps of a museum over looking the city. it was almost perfect. since then we had a few dates going to different places, we even created a bucket list of things we wanted to do together. well anyways, one day she asked me how old i was b/c she assumed i was around 22-23. i look very young for my age.

i knew she would be shocked but was hoping that she could look past that. she def was shocked but she told me that it didn't bother her...even though i knew it did a little. anyhow, it wasn't mentioned after that and we continued to date and have a great time. with her, i felt like i finally found someone that could make me laugh and we seemed to share something special.

one day i asked her, bc she was going back to school in a month if she thought that this was something that could work out. she said she wasn't sure and that she really liked me. i was a bit sad, b/c i saw so much potential if we could just try to see where it goes.

a few days ago, she texts me and says we need to talk. mind you, this was a day after we went on a great date again. laid on the grass, holding each other and watching the stars....well i knew where this was going and so she told me that she didn't see this going anywhere and didn't want me to get hurt and her as well. she said we were at 2 different stages of our lives and that i was looking for a soulmate and she wasn't ready for a serious long term relationship. she also mentioned that she wanted to find someone that went to school with her and shared the same experiences with her. all valid points.

i understood where she was coming from but i didnt' want her to end it without seeing where things could go. i am so confused. well we ended up talking in person at her house. i told her everything i felt. how perfect things were going and how i was falling for her. it just didn't make sense to me. she finally said that she didn't think she could fall in love with me and this was the right decision. when she said that it broke my heart.

i could not believe that she could say that she couldnt' see herself falling in love with me. everything we did contradicted that. but she said while we were together in the back of her mind it was there. mind you, after this we started making out and other things...i made her laugh and it was like we were normal again. made pancakes together, held each other's hands etc etc.

i thought maybe she would change her mind and she would see that she would fall in love with me but she told me again that she coudlnt' see that. so that's when i said "ok" and walked up and left.

it's been a day and i am starting to cope with this but i still don't know what to make of it.

the things that come to mind are, she's still young and doesn't know what she wants yet. or maybe the age gap threw her off and she doesn't want to get too close. or maybe she really doesn't feel that she can fall in love with me.

what i really want to know is, can you share special moments with someone, laugh, hold each other, kiss, and have a great time with all the time and not fall in love with them??

[smackie9]

there is nothing to be confused about here. She told you honestly that you both are at different places in your lives.....you are ready to find someone to settle down with and she is at the start of her adult life. She doesn't want to be tied down....she told you that. I agree with her totally...she is being very realistic here and you are not. Sorry dude she was with you for some casual dating, nothing more.....you fell for her, oh well it didn't work out for you. This is what happens when you date a teenage girl, they want to go clubbing, dance, party, flirt, be free to date whomever they want....this is the best time of their life, so why mess it up with a committed relationship.


Tip: You want to fall in love, date someone in your age group that has the same mind set as you.

[mr.awesome83]

she isn't the party type of girl. she is very smart and a book worm. she loves to read and like i said, she is very mature for her age.
although yes she is 19 and i agree that she is not ready. she tells me all the things she enjoyed doing with me and how much fun she had. she said she wished she could have fallen in love with me.

i am a hopeless romantic and a part of me is hoping that she will realize later down the road that i was worth persuing.

[oldskool83]

your too old, she too young, simple as that. i look young too, people think im about 10 years younger then i am...sucks lol. it will never work because at 19 shes only gonna start to grow up, i got married way young and til you grow up normaly you grow appart. take it as she said, your at dif stages of your life, enjoy the time you had, somthing else better suited will pop up one day!

[smackie9]

Just because you fell in love with her doesnt mean she will too. It just didnt work out. Ya I hear ya....your heart doesnt want to hear that and it sucks.

PS she might be a book worm now, but in time that could change too.

Also to a 19 year old, 28 is too old no matter how young you look or how mature she is. I dated a few 19 year olds when I was 24 and I thought that was way too young. It was a waste of my time..... they wonder too much.

[mr.awesome83]

Thanks for the replies. I just find it harder to find someone that i really feel a connection with. I worry as im getting older that i may not find someone. It really hurts but i know i have to move on.