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Thread: confused and worried

  1. #1
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    confused and worried

    hi guys,
    new to this thing. Just in need of some advice.
    I have been living with this guy now for about 2 years. We started hooking up every now and then whilst living together but
    nothing serious. Over the past few months though, things have become a little more serious in the way of us hanging out more
    and sleeping in each others room and things like that. We almost could be boyfriend/girlfriend but when i have expressed this to him, he kind of brushes it off and says that he likes how it is right now and we should just keep it simple. This is fine with me. Though the past week we have had a new girl move in and she is quite pretty, and since then I feel this guy is being kind of withdrawn from me, only hugging me when she isnt around and little things that make me think something is up. I just feel as though things are starting to "drift apart". I dont know whether I am paraniod because there is a girl in the house now and i am insecure or if there is something he isnt telling me and he wants to persue something with the new girl.
    I know it was a stupid thing hooking up with a house mate in the first place and i sure do know how to wear my heart on my sleeve but i just wanted some kind of opinion as to what others think about what is going on. Should i just let it flow or ask him. I have asked him a few times regarding the same thing but about other girls (and he has asked the same thing to me occassionally) but i am scared if i ask again he will get angry for me asking so much.
    any advice is welcome

    thanks

  2. #2
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    You already answered your questions. Yes it was a mistake to hook up with a room mate, he is obviously fwb and nothing more, he doesn't want a relationship, he is pulling away from you because now there a new even sweeter cookie on the scene and he is ready to drop you to chase after her...lets face it, he is not obligated to you for you are not in a committed relationship. Its gonna be over soon hun and you know it. You got dooped. There are better ways to get yourself a BF, and this wasn't one of them.


    Thats the way the cookie crumbles.

  3. #3
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    ^^^ Yep. ^^^

  4. #4
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    Yeah I figured this was the case though he did mention to the new girl we were hooking up and even told me he "wasn't a player". I know him pretty well and hope he would have the balls to say something to me if he was interested in this other girl. Do guys normally do this or do they just do it in secret until they work out what they really want. I am not particually upset that he may be interested in the new girl but what scares me is the fact that he would do something behind my Back. How would I approach the situation ?? I don't want to say "choose me or her" but I want to know if he is willing to do something with her so I can become detached. Any advice on how to ask without seeming like a compete weirdo. I honestly don't care if it's her over me. I just don't want to be "the girl on the side".

    Though I am beginning to realise I should have expected this but hooking up with a house mate for cOnveniance :/

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by GTAL View Post
    This is fine with me.
    So, you're fine with being a friend with benefits. Ok, cool.

    or if there is something he isnt telling me and he wants to persue something with the new girl.
    Maybe he does. He's just your friend and you're fine with that, so it shouldn't be a problem, now should it?

    Should i just let it flow or ask him. I have asked him a few times regarding the same thing but about other girls (and he has asked the same thing to me occassionally) but i am scared if i ask again he will get angry for me asking so much.
    I think it depends a lot on your attitude. As long as you don't act jealous about, there shouldn't be anything wrong with friends sharing about their persons of interest.

    If you have feelings for him though, talk about them instead.
    You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

  6. #6
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    Ok so I guess the situation is that we are friends with benifits an yes this is fine with me but what I am worried about is that he won't tell me if he is going to be screwing around with the new girl but keep me in the dark. I don't want to be apart of it if this is the case. Id rather be told than to let it fizzle out to him just trying to keep it a secret. It's the complete wuss way around it. I guess I hve become some what emotionally attached. More so the communication side of things. If he doesnt want it from me then tell me, not just shut me out and pretend I am some old used toy.

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