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Thread: What my jerk boyfriend did. Did I do the right thing by breaking up?

  1. #1
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    What my jerk boyfriend did. Did I do the right thing by breaking up?

    We were in a long distance relationship for 10 months and I visited him last week.(we live 5 hours away by train). Yesterday he came to a small town 20 minutes from me and said he wants it to be a guy-weekend only, I said ok. In the evening I called him and asked him are you coming to my town too? And he said he doesn't know but he'll let me know if he will.
    At 12 pm I called him, no answer. He always picks up the phone. I sent him a message, no answer. After a half an hour called him again, the same. I thought ok, maybe he can't hear the phone, so I called one of his friends who has his phone number listed on Facebook. He answered, I asked for my boyfriend and he was there. I asked him where are you, he said he's in my town having a beer but just came to pick up a guy so he won't stay long. He said he didn't hear the phone, that it was on silent, but he never puts it on silent, why now?
    And then he acted like he was the one mad and hung up the phone. Called him again, didn't answer.
    After an hour he calls me, like why are you calling my friends, like he was the one upset. I told him I want to break up with him cause he didn;t want to see me and didn't answer my phone calls intentionally and finally he admited that but he said he only stayed for an hour cause his friend wanted to meet with his girlfriend who is also in my town. I told him ok, so they met, you had a beer with them, didn't it cross your mind to call and meet with your girlfriend too? He said I'm not right and stuff like that
    Do you think he's a real jerk for lying to me and I did the best thing by breaking up with him?

  2. #2
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    Youre acting like a complete Bitch. He said he wanted a guy weekend and you stuck your fat head where it shouldn't have been. He doesn't owe you anything unless you both agreed to hang out. This wasnt one of those time.

    You broke up with him for this? I hope he never calls you back

  3. #3
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    agreed with surf, you overstepped your boundaries and were the one in the wrong. He was out with the guys and you broke up with him because he didn't make time to see you, after stating clearly that he would call if he had time.
    "All is fair in love and war." - Francis Edward Smedley

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    +1. If a girl I was dating did that to me, I'd get far away. Maybe he wanted to hang out with his friends without you because he wanted to talk to them about how awesome of a girlfriend you were? No need to get all possessive/stalkerish on him.

  5. #5
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    You should have left him alone, but I think it's a little lame he didn't want to see you when the weekend was over. 5 hours is a pretty big distance, so it's not like he can just see you whenever...

    I probably would've kept my mouth shut and then rethought the relationship.

  6. #6
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    You owe him a huge apology if you value the relationship in anyway

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    Quote Originally Posted by surfhb View Post
    You owe him a huge apology if you value the relationship in anyway
    I wouldn't value a girlfriend who couldn't even drive 20 minutes to see me when I traveled 5 hours to see her. Then to not even pick up the phone when I called, talk about disrespectful.

    Salma, you're not wrong for wanting your boyfriend to match the effort you put into the relationship. Nor were you wrong for not sitting back and doing nothing when you knew he was blowing you off.

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    Quote Originally Posted by leoben View Post
    I wouldn't value a girlfriend who couldn't even drive 20 minutes to see me when I traveled 5 hours to see her. Then to not even pick up the phone when I called, talk about disrespectful.

    Salma, you're not wrong for wanting your boyfriend to match the effort you put into the relationship. Nor were you wrong for not sitting back and doing nothing when you knew he was blowing you off.
    We must be reading different posts. She never said she traveled 5 hours to see him. He said he wanted a guys night out and would call if he felt like it. He was angry she went over his head and called his friend....from Fb no less. Talk about creepy. thats why he ignored her calls

    Sure...Id be a little upset if my BF or GF didnt visit me in this situation but those are the ropes of a relationship. Not everything is fair in life. I could understand the OP wanting to have a discussion about all this at another time but she broke up with him over the phone instead. Immature, uncalled for and she'd be lucky to get him back.
    Last edited by surfhb; 06-08-11 at 03:33 PM.

  9. #9
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    Ok, but why didn't he answer the phone in the first place and lied that he didn't hear it? We see each other once a month, maybe twice. If we were seeing daily, I would get it. And when he went out, a girl was also at the table, so it wasn't just guys, his friend brought his girlfrend.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissSalma View Post
    Ok, but why didn't he answer the phone in the first place and lied that he didn't hear it? We see each other once a month, maybe twice. If we were seeing daily, I would get it. And when he went out, a girl was also at the table, so it wasn't just guys, his friend brought his girlfrend.
    Because he knew you would be upset for not seeing you and didnt want to hear you bitch and complain Then made up an excuse when you wrongly called him out

  11. #11
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    It's possible that he just didn't want to see you and probably did heard your phone calls, but ignored it...
    According to your previous threads (If he is the same guy) that you've made, sounds like he doesn't really take this relationship as serious as you do.

  12. #12
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    I think it was wrong of you to push him to see you when he had made it clear that this was a weekend with his boys. I also find it very strange that you thought it was OK to search for his friend's number and to call his friend when your bf didn't answer your call! That was really disrespecvtul both towards your bf and his friend. You seriously overstepped some boundaries with that move and if I were him, I wouldn't even speak to you on my friend's phone. You had no right whatsoever to do that.There are boundaries in every relationship and it is important to respect both yourself and your partner enough to not cross them.

    That having been said, I do find it strange that although he was in your hometown he didn't even drop by to say hello so this kind of shows that he isn't all that into you, but I could be wrong as I don't know anything else about the guy (ie. how he's been treating you in general and stuff) so can't really comment on what he might have been thinking and why he chose to do that.

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