LONG post: Is she interested in me, playing hard to get, or just friends?

[Raul87]

Right. I'll try to give all the details but keep it as short as possible, which will still be long probably :

Short version:

I met this girl in Uni. She sometimes ignores me. She once sat next to me in class, then 1 minute later got up and moved. She speaks to me a lot on MSn and says nice things, then doesn't talk for days at all. I ask her out, she says yes, but keeps being 'busy' (twice). I go quiet, she gets back in touch. Tells me we will go out after her trip to Vietnam. She gives me her number (without me asking) and asks me to whatsapp her while she's in Vietnam. She tells me about her day etc. Then goes quiet again. She also gave me compliments before like that she can be a bitch to other people sometimes but that she only wants to be nice to me. That i'm really funny. That she's not into "Pretty boys" like chase crawford, which is a good thing for me (?) etc.



Long version:

I'm 24, she's 21. We both had the same course in Uni. We only shared a few classes. When i noticed her the first time, I never got the chance to speak to her, i'm not super smooth and either everyone would've overheard or she was already gone at the end before I could or I/she had to stay longer.

Not wanting to wait 1-3 weeks to see her again I added her to facebook.We spoke casually on there, but my interest wasn't that high, so I mostly let her be.
We saw eachother again 1-2 weeks later, I saw her through the window outside and she was looking right at me, so I waved and smiled. She just ignored me. I was waiting upstairs infront of class, speaking to a bunch of other classmates about a movie. She came up as well but I thought she purposely ignored me so let her be. But then once class started she went straight for me and set next to me, I said hi how are you, went to plug my laptop power cord in, got back and she got up and said it was better if she sat next to her groupmates for the presentation she had to give.

I thought it was pretty darn confusing. So I let it be. Also the final lesson of the course my group had to give a presentation and I caught her staring at me while my group mate was doing his part, so i looked back and smiled, she smiled. I had to stay to discuss the presentation with the professor though so I didn't get a chance to speak to her after
Until..
We both only had a day till a deadline for our final paper for that course. We spoke on FB, she told me to add her to MSN. We spend until 6am talking to eachother while working on the paper. She said on FB she really liked me and i was awesome We spoke maybe 1-2 for quite a long time on MSN while she was at work. Notable things she said:
- I'm very nice to her
- She can be bitchy to other people sometimes but she only wants to be super nice to me.
- She said she's not into 'pretty boys' (chasey crawford type) which was 'only good for me'

We spoke quite frequently on FB for a few weeks (uni ended). I'm afraid I showered her with too much attention at the time (spoke at least once a day) Conversations became more sparse, so I dialed it down a bit too. Wanting 'closure' I decided to ask her out, casually though, asked if she wanted to meet up before she goes off to vietnam for a month and hang out. She said she wanted too but she was busy studying for exams (mine already finished) and had a drivers license test coming up but after that. I waited a week and reminded her. She said she wanted too, but would let me know after her exams.
I got fed up at this point, and left her alone. 1 week later she contacted me on FB, asking how i was, I only replied briefly. A week after that she messaged me she had been very busy and couldn't get a chance to meet up with me, and she had to work every day before she goes Vietnam to get the money she needs for it (she left a week later). If we could get a raincheck and that we'd definitely do something after. I replied very short.

When she left to Vietnam, I wrote her a line saying I hope she enjoys her time and that she'll be safe. She's been in Vietnam for about 1-2 weeks now. And sunday she contacted me on FB:

- She asked me if the sign up period for courses had ended yet, if i could check, because she couldn't on her phone. The sign up period had already ended for a month and I'm pretty darn sure she knew that...
- I helped her anyway, told her it had ended. And said I hope shes having a good time in Vietnam.
- She replied saying she was having a great time, didn't want to leave and gave me her mobile phone number asking me to whatsapp her. Important to note here is that I saw her not give out her number to this guy she knew from back in high school saying she doesn't like giving out her number. I never asked for her number either

This surprised me, I added her to whatsapp a day later, then whatsapped her the day after that. Asked her what time it was over there. It was 5am. I asked if she had been out all night then. Next thing I know she spammed me with 4 messages. Telling me all about her day and what she been doing, how her friends just want to go out and party while she wants to see places etc. Asked me how I was doing. I answered her saying what i been doing, and what I had planned. Ending that I was going for my drivers license soon and whether she had done her 2nd driving exam yet. (She failed her 1st, was really upset, didn't want to talk about it more back then). Didn't get a reply

She didn't have internet for a few days so I send her a text a few days after that convo. Just said hi and whether she was having a good time. She's been online since but no reply to either. So not heard from her for a week.



Long story short. I'm really confused. I really like this girl, a lot. We really share a lot in common on many levels. But I don't know where we stand at all. To me it seems like a lot of mixed messages and I don't know how to respond. My friends say, just move on she's not worth bothering with if she's gonna be so vague. I know what they mean, but like I said, I really like this girl. Also she has a lot of friends, both guys and girls, and plenty of guys who seem interested in her. I don't think she would just keep me around for attention. I'm not an extremely flirty guy so it's not like im a major self esteem boost when others would do a better job at that. She did basically brush me off when i asked her to go out, twice. I've always been told if a girl likes you she'll make herself available. Which she didn't seem to do.
She also seems to talk to me a lot - not talk much - talk to me a lot - not talk much. It's like one day she really likes me and the other she don't..


Hopefully somebody on here bothers to read this giant post and give me some objective insights. On the one hand I think she's not that interested. On the other I think she is. But perhaps she's finding it hard to move forward. I do know last year she got dumped by a guy she had been in long term relationship with.



I know all the "Plenty of fish in the sea" etc. arguments. They won't help though. I'm looking for insights in where we stand. And if you think she IS playing hard to get. What's the best way to react to that?


Thanks in advance!

[Raul87]

Just wanted to add that advise isn't drastically needed anymore. I checked my phone App (Whatsapp) and it showed 1 message wasn't send. So I messaged her asking if she got it and she didn't. And I didn't get some of her msgs. We spoke a little bit and I'm quite hopeful, it's going in the right direction at least. I guess this is the shitty part of indirect conversations, it can easily lead to miss communication as well. Especially when you come to rely on technology and it fails you. I asked advise to friends as well and everyone told me to just forget about this girl. Even when I said I wasn't sure if she got my messages. But I'm happy I followed my heart and double checked anyway. So that's my part of advise im throwing out there into the nothingness. If you really like somebody then make sure there is nothing left to chance and follow your heart. It's better to try and fail than to find out you should've tried and never did later on

[devonbrown]

And the moral of the story is - TALK to each other. Don't text at each other.

[HeartIsAching]

Try asking her out.