need some help and advise

[abc12]

to cut a long story short iv been split up with my ex for 8 moths now we were in a relationship for 8 1/2 years and living together

in the time we were together i had done some horrible things id text other people and kissed other people and she has found out and she has always let me back in to her life

this time she hasnt and says she will never get back with me because she cant trust me and too much has happened, but she also says that she loves me and misses me and the way she feels may change but not to wait for her.

we got together at 16 and she and she was 150% head ove heals in love with me she absolutely adored me and i abused it.

since we split up iv sat back and had to realise that the way i had been was not acceptable and noone deserves to be treated like that

i think my problems come from that we got together very young and i basically wanted my cake and to eat it at the same time

iv obviously addressed my problems and know 100% it is her that i want to be with and i know that if we ever did get back together i would not go back to the old habbits.

we have both not been with anyone else and we do speak buu she is reluctant to see me.

but here lies the problem in the past 8 months that we have been split up i have done everything wrong in trying to get her back ( all with good intentions) ive done the begging and pleading never backed off and pushed and pushed, and i think that i have maybe pushed her too far away that i can never get her back.
it is always me that has to instigate any sort of communication.

she tells me i have had too many chance (which i have) so why do i deserve another. and that she doesnt want to be with me but doesnt want to lose me as a friend!

she does tell me she still loves me and misses me but she also says right know i cannot ever seeing me being able to trust you again and because of everything thats happened i dont feel the same and thats not fair on me if she said lets try and see if we can sort it. but she says that may change but dont wait around for me and let me go and move on

its a horrible place to be because she is all i think and care about. I know i have done a lot of bad things to her and hurt her plenty. we both wish that we could change whats happened.

we have split up before over things and got back together but this time i feel all hope is gone and i need some good firm advace and basically a direction to go in

[HeartIsAching]

So what is it you want advice about? How to get over her? Because that's basically all I can see happening for you.

She reached her breaking point, and you're not going to get her back.

If you're serious about getting better, get some counseling, and maybe you won't be such a shit in your next relationship.

Oh and BTW - I'm not taking a "holier than thou" attitude. It took me far too long to change my evil ways.

[abc12]

i agree that i was not a good person but i so badly want her back

i just dont know if im holding on to false hope or if there is a chance

and how to go about trying to get her back

[HeartIsAching]

Give up on that idea, it ain't happenin'. This isn't some game she's playing to teach you a lesson, she's had enough.

[abc12]

Thats the thing im usually a very definate person and there is just something in the back of my mind that is sayin dont give up

she has said to me done force it if it happens it happens and last week we were arranging to do something

i know its not a game and i am serious abou trying to get her bk

it has also takin me to lobg to change my ways but i can honestly say i have

[Enchanté]

if she wants to be with you, she'll be with you--but she has to be the one to decide that, you can't decide it for her. let her be, and give her space and time. meanwhile, work on yourself and accept that you can't sit around hoping forever.