She needs time to be alone and figure her life out

[Derf]

She says she needs a break to figure her life out, be alone. Not to drift away but figure out if and when we can get back on the same page.
I've been seeing this girl for 9 months, we fell for eachother immediately. and things were incredible for the first half. We talked about everything, spent all our free time together, and planned a future (moving in together, marriage, kids, ect...) The last few months she has requested space to focus on her self and her daughter. She had just ended an 8 year relationship with the father of her daughter and never had time to herself. So I understand taking time to breathe a little so the past few months we only saw each other once a week and sometimes less than that. It has been difficult for me and I may have made it hard for her to take her space without making her feel guilty. Now she resents me a little wants a break to sort things out, but says she loves me and doesn't want to lose me. It's just something she has to do. From the beginning we have been completely open and honest with each other and had complete trust. Its tough because we are so great together, the emotional and physical connection has been amazing, but we started fighting quite a bit just because we are not in the same place and she says she can't give me what I need right now. It scares her to think of losing me, but with out a break it will never work.
To make things more complicated she is still close with her ex for their daughters sake and they also work together. I do trust that she is over him and will not get back with him, but know that he still loves her. Her father took off when she was her daughters age and doesn't want that for her daughter. So I can respect what they are doing. My worry is, she wants space from me and not him.

I just don't know how much time to give her. She says she might need a couple months, and isn't sure what's going to happen. I want to hang on, but it's also killing me not know what she wants exactly. She also said that she understands if i move on, not to wait around for her. I explained that i love her very much and want her to be happy and in a good place so we can move forward someday. And i will not hold this "taking space" against her. It just feel sweird to go from talking all the time to nothing. It's only been a week, but a long one.

[chillingsr]

Derf. Our situations are so freakin similar. I was friends with my ex for 10 years. Started dating 11 months ago and she has a 3 1/2 year old son. She hadn't been with anyone in over 2 years. Relationship was great. Able to work through things and I was so patient with her through the relationship. The past 2 months for us were crazy busy filled with a ton of obligations. We spent zero time alone. She started feeling guilty about the time and I know I pushed the time as an issue. All of her previous relationships were toxic and ours isn't. We had a talk 2 weeks ago and she said that she needed time and space to figure things out and to get her mind clear. That she doesn't want to lose me and that she still wants me to be a part of her life and her son's life. In the 2 weeks we've seen each other a few times. I decided to go NC for my own peace of mind. I suggest you do the same.

I'm sure she knows exactly how you feel about her. I think she needs to get her mind cleared and get to the point where she is missing you. Just back off for a while and take care of yourself. If you keep in contact and keep pushing it is only going to push her further away. I know its incredible hard to do, and I know if you have a connection to her child, its going to be heartbreaking. Keep your head up and post here instead of contacting her.

[DarkHelmet82]

giving her space isnt for you to get her back but for you to get over her.. I find that if its meant to be it will happen. Dont keep in contact for yourself.. not for her.

[Boisdevie]

I need space = I need space away from YOU = relationship is pretty close to finished.