Help! I KNOW I'm being unreasonable...

[crazybeautiful]

For some reason, I can't get over the fact that my boyfriend dated a girl before me (LONG before me) and I feel like he loved her more than me and that she was better than me, etc. He tells me that I am the best girl in the world, he loves me more than anything, he never loved anyone else at all (although when we first got together he said he had loved this other girl, but now he says he never loved anyone but me), I am the most beautiful girl in the world, he treats me great, I could go on and on. However, I keep thinking about the past and how she must have been more special than me because she was the first. I also just feel we are such opposites (she is hispanic, short dark hair, dark eyes, average height and size and I am short, small, blonde, fair skinned, green eyed, etc) how could he be attracted to her AND to me? I think a huge part of the insecurity is that he told me when we first got together how heart broken he was over this girl and how much he loved her and it took him 2 years to get over her, but now he says he never knew what love was until he met me. He told me he was SO crazy in love with her. Yes, he says that about me now and that he never loved her at all but I wonder if he isn't lying to make me happy (I have caught him in lies when he thinks he is avoiding hurting me). I think that she is prettier than me even though logically I don't think many people would see it that way. I wonder if he still thinks of her. He doesn't talk to her (that I know of), he's not friends with her on facebook, he has nothing to do with her...in fact she is married to someone else now. They were together for 6 months (7 years ago) and we have been together for 2 years so why do I worry about this. I was with a guy for 5 years before him who I admit I loved and I bet he doesn't feel this way about my ex. We treat each other great and don't tell him about these insecurities. I just wish that I could stop thinking about it. I wish he hadn't told me anything about his past relationships when we got together so I wouldn't have to think about it. Someone please let me have it for how crazy I am about this (nicely)..or am I? I just wish I could stop thinking about it..I think this could be the guy that I marry. He says he wants to marry me and be with me forever...

I'm 24 and he's 25 btw.

[HeartIsAching]

Dated her for 6 months 7 years ago? You need to grow up.

If he marries you, he's crazy.

[crazybeautiful]

I'm the crazy one not him, he doesn't even know about it! Theres a difference between telling it like it is and being an ass...thanks for being an ass and giving me no helpful advice whatsoever.

[HeartIsAching]

You're welcome.

[tomtom8p]

Love changes from person to person, he may always have a special place in his heart for this girl. The fact is that he is not with this girl anymore he chose you. He loves you a lot by the sound of it. Your lucky to have a great guy.

If you keep feeling this way then you need to talk to him about it. Chances are he has absolutely no idea and thinks you are perfectly happy with the way things are. If you don't feel comfortable opening up to him about this then you should rethink if he is the right person for you. I know that if i was your boyfriend i would want to know the second you had any worries about my love. Tell him your feeling this way and i promise you that if he truly means what he says he will do everything he can in order to set the record straight.

[Wakeup]

I'm sure that once you work out your insecurity and unfounded fear of not being the Mirror, mirror on the wall the beautifulesst one of all, you'll immediately find some other thing to be insecrue about unless of course you work on your conversation skills and the art of communication within your relationship. Talk to him and if he can't reassure you about what you mean to him through his words and more importantly, his actions then have the decency to leave him instead of driving him crazy with your insecurity.

Wouldn't you want to have none of these silly thoughts running around in your head? Yes? Well then pay attention to the fact he's with you and showing you all his loving actions.. not her. You'll have to think in the mature manner of a woman with a healthy sense of self worth to understand how to banish such silly thoughts of this other woman from an eon ago.