Girlfriend was a porn actress

[Davidcp]

My girlfriend was a porn actress for 5 years and has been out of the industry for 2 years. I knew this when we met. We have dated for 4 months and things are getting serious. What was a novelty and exciting at first now bothers me quite a bit. She is not famous, but did a fair amount of work and her videos and pics are all over the internet. She did pretty extreme stuff including anal and two guys at a time. Of course these guys have very large packages, significantly bigger than most guys, me included. She explained to me that yes she enjoys sex in general but it was just a job. We are compatible in many ways and enjoy being together. The sex is very good as well as emotional connection and intimacy. She is a very positive person and has none of the stigma usually associated with ladies in porn. No addictions, no sex abuse history, no major insecurities that I can see. I am just trying to determine if her past is enough reason to not move forward. I would feel pretty shallow if I turned her away based on this alone. Any insight anyone may have would be helpful. Particularly female perspectives on whether her past may or may not affect her ability to have a healthy relationship with me now. Thanks. David

[devonbrown]

What job did you have before you dated her? Would you want her to break up with you for flipping burgers or whatever you did?

Maybe she didn't really enjoy the sex though. I don't think we can really tell unless you post links to her work.

[oldskool83]

this kinda it funny, you already knew this was her past but im sure at 1st u thought im banging a ex porn star. if shes with you shes with you, id take it as that, thing is none of us guys are gonna know who she is so whats it really matter. i wouldnt care if i was all over the net, if only a few people konw of me big deal. cant be anyworse then facebook.

i think your insecurtiy is started to mess with your mind.

[Ric]

1) anal and threesomes really isn't that extreme. It's almost a requisite for the porn industry.
2) You already knew it, so I am not sure why it bothers you so? Looked up her porn to see guys having bigger dicks? Or has she stated you're not good in the sack?

My best advice... instead of feeling jealous/insecure/whatever about it... simply don't. Think "She was in porn, she's more experienced and I get to hit that every night, on top of that emotionally she is mine as well." Insecurities you just need to get over. They have no basis in this relationship and will only mess things up.

[maxmax]

1) anal and threesomes really isn't that extreme. It's almost a requisite for the porn industry.

You clearly own/watch a lot of porno.

[vashti]

Eh, I can see why you wouldn't feel good about this. If things progress, and you decide to maybe get married and make babies, how would you feel about your children (and their friends) knowing what she did? And what about your friends surfing the 'net and seeing her?

I wouldn't like it.

[rafterman]

You would hope that gigigi,does'nt get hold of this thread, or you are toast.

[Ric]

You clearly own/watch a lot of porno.

More than I should. But I've also done things more extreme than that. Many people I know have at least done anal, some have done threesomes, others have done quite a bit more than that.

[maxmax]

More than I should. But I've also done things more extreme than that. Many people I know have at least done anal, some have done threesomes, others have done quite a bit more than that.

You've appeared in a gangbang movie?

Filthy boy.

[Wakeup]

You knew what she did before you started dating her so why are you even bringing this up now... . Sorry, but guys and girls like you make me wanna puke. Don't stick your dick in (or open your legs up )if your brain is going to cause you trouble later when he/she falls in love with you... You're being an asshole for being with her even once if your basic instinct is to recoil from what she's done in her past, never mind staying with her until she's emotionally hooked on you too. Bleck! Shame on you.

[maxmax]

Yeah, it's too late now to think that maybe her past is a problem.

Don't be an ass.

She's not just a vagina. She's a person too, and needs to be loved.

[tremolo]

What Wakeup said. You are doing the classic douchebag thing of getting involved with a girl you know you're going to have slamming sex with and loving it ('look at me, I'm banging a pornstar!'), and then condemning her now for what initially drew you to her. Don't be such an asshole.

If you didn't want to be involved with a pornstar, you shouldn't have been banging her in the first place. And don't use this 'healthy relationship' bullshit to justify yourself.

[surfhb]

I guess it depends on what you want to define as normal, but Ive never seen a porn actress who was well adjusted. I worked in porn production for years.

[maxmax]

but Ive never seen a porn actress who was well adjusted.

Except maybe to really big wieners.

[Davidcp]

Whoa fellas. I am not condemning her. Criteria for dating casually and a long term relationship are different. And what did not concern me initially is something I have to consider now that we are moving towards commitment. I have never even brought up her work in porn since we talked about it early on. I am merely throwing this up for discussion on an anonymous forum. So, while I appreciate the input, chill just a bit.