I need advice...

[Anonymous29]

I'm currently in a relationship with a girl I've been with for 4 years, no kids, were not married, we don't live together, and I do love her.
I recently met another girl with whom I've been spending some time with and it started out strictly platonic but i started falling for her. She also has a boyfriend that shes been with for a year, I obviously didn't mean for this to happen but it did and she has feelings for me too.
I'm so confused and normally would never resort to a forum for advice but I have no one else to talk to about this.
I don't want to talk to my friends about it because they all know this girl and the last thing I want is for people to start talking.
Any advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated..

[pizza]

Hey. I'm falling for a married woman so I'm almost in the same boat.

I guess my advice would be the advice I'm giving to myself lately.

First, fix your personal and economic situation. If you're not secure mentally and money wise, you'll lower your chances with any woman, much more with a taken woman.

Second, concentrate on HER. Try not to think "OMG she's friends with all my friends, etc" Concentrate on the interactions and time you will have with her one on one. Charm her.

But I want to ask......what does she do that makes you think she's into you too????? Did something already happen between the two of you??? You weren't too specific on that. More details would be great.

[Anonymous29]

The time we spend together is usually brief due to work, etc.
But the time we do spend together is amazing, I don't feel the same way when I'm with my girlfriend.
We've kissed/made out on multiple occasions, and when I mustered up the courage to tell her how I felt about her (which is huge for me, I'm kind of a shy guy) she replied that she was also falling for me.
She's mentioned that she would be with me if not for our current situation and I agree.
And to make things more difficult, I see this girl almost every day due to the fact that we work together.

[Ric]

You're an idiot. I highly dislike cheaters of any kind.

But... pretty much everyone gets crushes from time to time. Of course it will feel different from what you feel for your girlfriend. Doesn't mean it's more real or more deep.
Now, stop being a pussy and consider how much you love your girl. Don't take the new girl into it and think whether you are actually happy in your current relationship. If you're not, either fix it or break up. And only after you've done that should you do anything with this new girl.
And, if you consider yourself happy in your current relationship, forget about the new girl all together and just work on bringing a spark back into your existing relationship.

But, if you have to ask me, your girlfriend could likely do better.

[devonbrown]

Just a couple thoughts -

- If you are going to breakup with your girlfriend, do it because things aren't good between you two. NOT because of anyone else. That is just a recipe for disaster.
- You are taken, so the other girl might just be flirting without it being anything serious for her.
- She is taken, so understand this and slow down your heavy flirtations.

That's all I got for now...

[username3344]

break up with your girlfriend...it'll hurt her but not as much as it would if she found out you made out with another girl on "multiple occasions" while you guys were still together. If you end things now she'll never know and even if she does find out it will hurt alot less coming from her ex-boyfriend instead of her boyfriend. If you love her like you say, you obviously don't want to hurt her.