Is it a right time?

[franktalk]

Hello,

My gf is upset with me over a personal matter. Is this the right time to gift her something or surprise her? If yes, any suggestions as to what i can gift her or how i can surprise her?

[haventaclue]

It depends really on just how upset she really is. IS it a relationship blip or a finisher?

[franktalk]

It depends really on just how upset she really is. IS it a relationship blip or a finisher?

I feel its a relationship blip.. wat should i do?

[kageri]

Depends on the person. I personally find bribes to be highly annoying and would continue being mad for longer if someone tried to give me gifts to fix an argument/disagreement/mistake. It never worked when I was growing up to tell me I would get something for doing something I didn't want to. It just made me not want to do it more. It works better to leave me alone. Some people though want the other person to appologize constantly and throw many presents and surprises at them to make up for something they've done. A bunch of strangers online do not know the personality of your gf.

[franktalk]

points noted kageri..

[smackie9]

She would think of you as a lame ass if you felt a gift would make her forgive you. It would make her even more mad you fool. Communication is the only way to make this better....man up!

[franktalk]

Communication is the only way to make this better....man up!

But she rarely speaks or attends my call. How do i convince her?

[smackie9]

Why dont you just tell us what happened. Then we will know how you can approach this matter.

[franktalk]

Why dont you just tell us what happened. Then we will know how you can approach this matter.

Actually its a big story.. Lets make one thing clear, that I loved her and still love her a lot..and we are in a relationship for over 4 years and she has a great control over her mind and knows me very very well... But I could not give her the time she wanted. I was in a financial crunch and most of the times it was she who paid our dinner bills. I always thought of long-term and wished to fulfill all her wishes once I become rich but I feel that was the mistake I made. I kept her away from some of my friends whom she wanted to meet simply because I thought they were gossip queens. In short, I was afraid to disclose much about our relationship to others and maybe its one of the reasons y she is unhappy.

[smackie9]

Wow so you are that insecure? Dude the damage is done. You treated her with such neglect and disrespect out of your own fears. It's not just about how you treated her, it's how you handled yourself as a man....not very well.

She discovered that you are not the man that would be able to support her and her future children...you acted very childish. Let her go and focus on getting your shit together.

[franktalk]

hey smackie9.. I cant let her go.. There must be some way out..???

[HeartIsAching]

The worst thing you can do is get her a gift. What happens when you do that, is every time she looks at it, she'll be reminded of what happened to get it. That's also the reason makeup sex is a bad idea... eventually she will come to associate the gifts and sex with fighting, and you will too.

If you want to get her a gift, let her cool off, do your apologies or whatever (and actually try to fix the problem instead of pretending it isn't there or hoping it'll go away) and sometime down the road, get her a gift "just because". This will give a much more positive result.

[smackie9]

Hey that isnt your decision, that is her's. She wants to be left alone, so leave her alone. If she wants you back she will decided for herself and not from gifts, phone calls and bubbery love letters.