18 yr old with a 34 yr old boyfriend

[18dixiegirl]

Ok so im 18 and my boyfriend is 34.We have only been dating for about a month and a half.About 3 weeks into it I let him take my virginity...we"re still together,I dont regret it and I care about him alot.But he recently moved 4 hours away.He asked me to come with him but im not really sure im ready to take that step.Im afraid that the distance is really gonna hurt our realtionship if I dont go with him....so what do I do?Are we taking things way too fast?

[Wakeup]

I take it he told you that he would be moving 4 hours away BEFORE he took your virginity, right?

[smackie9]

You are 18 and shouldnt be in any hurry to be in a committed adult relationship. You should be out dating boys your age, going to social events, parties and hanging out with your GFs. If you follow him you will be missing out the best time of your youth. You are still a teeneger and should just chalk this up as an experience and move onto the next experience. Staying with him will only isolate you from experiencing life, indepenence and your freedom. You havent even experienced going out clubbing, danicng and flirting with boys, college, traveling....you will regret it if you stay with him. PS to an 18 year old, 34 is frickin old man, dont waste your time.

[smackie9]

I take it he told you that he would be moving 4 hours away BEFORE he took your virginity, right?

My thoughts exactly.

[18dixiegirl]

I agree that there are things I havent had a chance to do yet that I would be giving up but to an extent im ok with that.Oh and PS to this 18 year old 34 isnt old.I dont like guys my age and never have.They're too immature for me and I dont like to deal with the drama they bring.

[Evo1114]

Doesn't anybody date people their same age? Or am I the only one? You and your boyfriend are at completely different stages of your lives. He is middle aged and probably wants to be married and have a family. You are just beginning adulthood and I would assume want something different. I hope you thought through completely skipping over the funnest years of your life to be with this guy.

[18dixiegirl]

Yes that is right.I knew he was moving b4 he took my virginity...

[rafterman]

This guy is near on a rock spider. o.p Dont let this guy pull the wool over your eyes. If you have half a clue, you'll listen to whats been said.
Sorry O.P but I think you just got used by a virgin buster.

[Wakeup]

What does your mom and dad say about it?

[zoomx3]

hey,
i'm in a similar situation, 18yrs old and dating a 27yr old.
i would say that if you are hesitating about moving with him, you shouldn't do it. and if he pressures you in any way, confront him about it. he should understand that at 18, your social life is completely separate from his and he should give you the freedom to maintain that. i like you am willing to give up a lot of the fun things 18yr olds do for my boyfriend, but i make a huge effort to stay in touch with my generation and with my friends. i might not go clubbing and drinking as much as i used to, but i have explained to my boyfriend that i need to maintain my social life and he says that he would allow me to go to some of my usual social events. your boyfriend should be willing to do the same.

[18dixiegirl]

My dad doesnt like the fact that he is so much older than me but he doesnt question my reasons for wanting to be with an older man because he is 10 years older than my mom and I havent told him about possibly moving to be with him yet.And my mom has said that she doesnt think I should move but she is fine with the age difference.

[18dixiegirl]

You shouldnt assume things bc im not the typical 18 year old that has a life revolved around drinking and partying every night...thats just not how I was raised.He does want to get married and have a family but he hasnt tried pushing me into anything.And I care about him enough that I am considering "completely skipping over the funnest years of my life to be with this guy"...which is why I am here...to get some advice not be judged for it

[girl68]

no you shouldn't move, yes the distance will cause problems. it won't work long term.

[rafterman]

I did'nt judge you, I was just saying be carefull. Your 18 honey trust me you only know so much. IMO

[18dixiegirl]

hey,
i'm in a similar situation, 18yrs old and dating a 27yr old.
i would say that if you are hesitating about moving with him, you shouldn't do it. and if he pressures you in any way, confront him about it. he should understand that at 18, your social life is completely separate from his and he should give you the freedom to maintain that. i like you am willing to give up a lot of the fun things 18yr olds do for my boyfriend, but i make a huge effort to stay in touch with my generation and with my friends. i might not go clubbing and drinking as much as i used to, but i have explained to my boyfriend that i need to maintain my social life and he says that he would allow me to go to some of my usual social events. your boyfriend should be willing to do the same.

We have talked about the things I would have to give up in order for our relationship to go where we want it to and im ok with it.I still go out with friends and do the things I used to on the weekend but being in a serious relationship with him means working him into all of that just like I would if he were my age and not 34.He hasnt pressured me,he is being really patient with me about all of it while I try to figure out if this is all what I really want.