What do I do?

[hurtsogood:(]

Hi everyone...

Ive never ever posted on a forum before so here we go...

My ex partner and I have been together for about 11 months and I am the apple of his eye, I have never before been treated so well by a guy! Which is great yeh? Well I totally took advantage of that and him smothering me in his love was too much for me and I started treating him like shit! Over the last 4 months Ive done the whole i dont know if i love you and if im happy the whole while i was happy with him and it wasnt until he finally left me that i realsied it!

We both have children from different relationships and this puts a lot of pressure on our relationship as my son is with us 24/7.. He is a fantastic father figure to my son we just have very different views on discipline.

I really dont know what to say on here, its the only place i can confidently tell the whole truth. I fell pregnant not long aftre we got togetehr and we both agreed that having a baby so soon was not the right thing to do, i then fell pregnant again a few months later and my partner though that he wanted the baby but i was soo unhappy with the pregnancy that i went behind his back and terminated the pregnancy. Horrible bitch i am i know and i think in me doing this i have done quiet a bit of damage to him emotionally.

When he told me it was over i was devistated i turned to drugs and alcohole to make myself feel better and to help me sleep. Just in the last two weeks he has told me that he wants to be with me but he is so worried that things will go back to the point they were at... I love him so much and I know he loves me just as much and how much i have hurt.

One day he wants to get back together the next he doesnt know what he wants. I dont know what to do to make him realise that i now know i totally took him for granted and that i will do all that i can to try make sure we dont get back to where we were...

Please help me, im so miserlable without him and he says he is without me!!!

[im_in_love]

To be quite blunt, you'll get over it.

You're kind of getting exactly what you deserve, and I highly doubt you'll change your ways if you DO get back together. You don't treat someone you love that way. He "smothered" you with his love before, and he'll do it again. Because he loves you. It sounds like you don't love him.

You put him through the whole roller coaster of emotions with not being sure if you wanted to be with him or not, who are you to say he can't do the same to you? Let him make up his mind on his own, and whatever his decision is, just deal with it.

[Equinox]

I know first hand what it's like to shower someone with love and get taken advantage of. It's honestly a horrible feeling. However, if you love someone enough to shower them with it, there is always that little voice in the back of your head that wants to give them another chance. Dangling someone on a string is the most miserable thing you can put a person through. If you put a puppy outside the door, it's only going to stay there wanting back in for so long until it just walks away. Once it walks away it usually doesn't come back. I'm not saying he won't come back, but it will take a lot of love on his part to do so. And depending on how bad you treated him it may or may not be there. I wish the best for you. If he doesn't come back, this is a valuable lesson to take with you.