I just dont get it, whats wrong with me?

[e92nv]

So im 31 in a month and Im STILL single. I cant imagine why! I mean I know Im not the greatest looking guy in the world but I think Im pretty cute. Ive recently started to lose some weight and Im down about 20lbs with about 20 more to go. A little about me... Im not a drinker, ill have 1 or 2 max so bars and clubs arent really my thing. Im pretty easy going, Im up for just about anything. The little things make me happy, going to dinner is a perfect night. I try to laugh as much as possible, im quirky, im a self proclaimed nerd... I just dont get it. Ive tried dating site, meeting people thru friends but nothing pans out really. Most of my friends are married and they have married friends too so theres slim pickens there... Its like I cant get the time of day from 90% of the women Im interested in. This is so frustrating... I HATE IT! Im the type of person who would do anything for the person I care about, I just dont get it. Any words of advice?

[Equinox]

We are the same age in the same boat brother. There is nothing wrong with you and even though it's hard, you have to know that. I spent so much of my time looking and looking that I lost track of the important things in my life. I got depressed about it, I wondered what was wrong with me, how come I couldn't find the one when it seemed like everyone else around me had. Even my younger brother got married and now has his own family. It almost seemed like a slap in the face.

Now that I really look at it, I wonder if this is just to let me know how special a significant other is. I've been in relationships in the past that I just kind of blew off when I was younger and when I think back to them I realize just how special that person was. I know now what I should have done or said. When you finally do meet the one, you'll know just how special she is and appreciate her more than you would've. She's out there and when you do meet, it will have been worth the wait.

[Evo1114]

Welcome to the 31-and-single club. I'm a member too.

I'm holding out for a girl who won't be anywhere near my area until 2012, but have recently started thinking I might have to get back on the dating train. Getting kind of bored and lonely and sick of being third wheel to my friends and their spouses. I'll just have to tell new chick that she'll have to hit the road sometime in 2012.

I hope it is not too hopeless out there. Online dating seems to be devoid of worthwhile chicks.

[kageri]

Part of the problem is that if you obsess and expend too much effort getting a relationship and keeping everyone around you happy then you come off as clingy and desperate which is generally a huge turn off.

I find sentences like this to actually be a warning

Im the type of person who would do anything for the person I care about

Slaves who will do anything for their partner are actually not that hard to find if you aren't overly picky about looks. It also gets old real quick and such people make for rather boring relationships and verbal exchanges because they are too busy trying not to offend and to keep you happy. Finding people with their own opinion and confidence that also aren't jerks is much harder and much more attractive.

[e92nv]

Welcome to the 31-and-single club. I'm a member too.

I'm holding out for a girl who won't be anywhere near my area until 2012, but have recently started thinking I might have to get back on the dating train. Getting kind of bored and lonely and sick of being third wheel to my friends and their spouses. I'll just have to tell new chick that she'll have to hit the road sometime in 2012.

I hope it is not too hopeless out there. Online dating seems to be devoid of worthwhile chicks.

Yea Im thinking about giving it up until I lose all the weight I have to then start looking again. I mean Itll only be till about october or so but my looks shouldnt matter THAT much... should they?

[smackie9]

You need to make friends with other singles. There are events and activities put on by singles clubs, meet and greets, dinners, cooking classes, volley ball, etc. just google singles clubs and events with your particular city. If you say you are up for anything there's a start.

[smackie9]

Yea Im thinking about giving it up until I lose all the weight I have to then start looking again. I mean Itll only be till about october or so but my looks shouldnt matter THAT much... should they?

Yes it does if you want to be noticed in this competitive market. It's not about your face, but what your wear speaks volumes. If you dress to impress, a little trendy, designer shoes, up to date hair style, and walk with confidence you will get noticed. Next be a little cocky, positive, up beat, funny, forward, etc.

[e92nv]

Yes it does if you want to be noticed in this competitive market. It's not about your face, but what your wear speaks volumes. If you dress to impress, a little trendy, designer shoes, up to date hair style, and walk with confidence you will get noticed. Next be a little cocky, positive, up beat, funny, forward, etc.

Yea I need a new hair cut and style so bad! I usually go to the barber but maybe Im going to go to one of those hair stylists to see what "she can do for me"

Thanx for the help

[devonbrown]

Its like I cant get the time of day from 90% of the women Im interested in.

I see the above quote as possibly a bigger part of the issue than you might think. The group of "women you are interested in" might not be a realistic group. If you are only interested in supermodels under the age of 22, then you are going to have huge problems, even if you live in an apartment building filled with them. Because that group is not a realistic dating group for a self-proclaimed 31 year old overweight nerd.

Definitely look to find activities that other single people do. I am sure there are tons of them out there. A bicycle club, a rec league, etc.

The other thing is make yourself more busy with things you like. Don't worry so much about finding someone. Get involved with volunteering, etc. That is a great way to meet people with similar interests as you. And from there it is just a jump away from dating.

Good luck.

[bulrush]

1. Online dating on most websites is, sucky at best. But you have to know what to look for. I've been very happy with online dating and I have high expectations.

2. I avoid any girls that look like supermodels. The general rules is they are: a) full of themselves, b) crazy or c) have unrealistic expectations taken from movies or romance novels. I can find a nice looking girl who is reasonable much more easily.