My boyfriend and I are in our early 50's. I have been divorced 12 years and he 2 years. We have been dating 2 years. We live in different cities but have talked every day and fly in to meet around once a month for a couple of days. I have a couple of problems that I wanted advice on. Although he is still affectionate and says he is interested in the relationship, I feel some of the initial enthusiasm has dropped. He feels this is just natural and that his feelings are just the same. The second issue relates to his willingness to make a commitment and even talk about it. He feels there are too many issues - that we both have careers and not able to move, his kids being uncomfortable with me (kids are 15 and 16), just being scared after a bad marriage that lasted 17 years. I find it increasingly difficult to understand how he can say he loves me, hopes for a future together, but cannot make a commitment now. He knew where I lived when he first contacted me (we met online, but found that we had met 30 years ago, and have a common circle of friends). So our relationship is secret from many of his friends (he told his parents) and we never make any plans for the future. He dislikes talking about the future as he feels there are too many complications. He would rather lose me than make a commitment right now. He wants to let things be till his youngest child graduates from high school and then decide. As far as I know he has been honest, but I find it hard to believe that he is serious about getting married. He refuses to even tell me that he is committed as he feels that saying that is as good as getting married, and there are still some uncertainties. Most of all it bothers me that he gets upset when I bring up the commitment issue. He does not cheat on me and I don't think he is a player. It seems that he is quite happy with the situation of seeing me a couple of days a month and talking to me when he gets time. It is scary for me to let myself keep loving him when things are so tentative. I do love him and enjoy being with him, and he does have many good qualities. Unfortunately addressing this issue despite knowing how strongly I feel is not something he wants to do. How do you see this?